Newt Gingrich, making a strong case for Stinque Asshole of the Year and a Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement, signed the Iowa Bigotry Pledge today. And while everyone’s noticing that it includes a promise to stand by Mrs. Newt III when Future Mrs. Newt IV tempts him, this part of his response caught our attention:
Defending Religious Liberty. As President, I will vigorously defend the First Amendment’s rights of religious liberty and freedom of speech against anyone who would try to stifle the free expression of believers.
Oh, you know where we’re going with this. So let’s go there:
“A conservative Christian politician has a secret life as a
If we had ten thousand dollars to bet, we’d start a pool among quarter-billionaires to name the results of a major annual awards presentation of which we conveniently were the sole judge, because it’s the equivalent of a buck or two to mortals, they wouldn’t miss it, and we could fund our retirement.

Title: “Spontaneous Happiness”
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Ding fucking dong! The bitch is dayud!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 So…. Does blockquote no longer work? Am I 2026’s only loser? (see blurb)
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Welp Speaking to reporters on Air Force One, President Trump said that “Cuba looks like it is…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 My mood courtesy of Rhiannon Giddens: https://youtu.be/M7PvWw97Cq0
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 A man who has his family and lackeys deeply embedded in every facet of our government is trying to…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 THIS IS NOT OKAY! WE’VE RUN THESE WAR GAMES FOR **YEARS**. SPOILER ALERT: A TON OF PEOPLE DIE.…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! WHAT. THE FUCK?!!?!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @ManchuCandidate: Summer definitely disappeared.