Newt Gingrich, making a strong case for Stinque Asshole of the Year and a Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement, signed the Iowa Bigotry Pledge today. And while everyone’s noticing that it includes a promise to stand by Mrs. Newt III when Future Mrs. Newt IV tempts him, this part of his response caught our attention:

Defending Religious Liberty. As President, I will vigorously defend the First Amendment’s rights of religious liberty and freedom of speech against anyone who would try to stifle the free expression of believers.

Oh, you know where we’re going with this. So let’s go there:

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“A conservative Christian politician has a secret life as a sperm donor for lesbian couples — even though he has campaigned against gay marriage. American politician Bill Johnson has spent most of this year in Christchurch helping run the earthquake recovery, all the while using the online persona ‘chchbill’ to meet women who want help to get pregnant.” [New Zealand Herald]

With the economy as weak as it is, and few signs of an imminent pickup, there is a reasonable chance that Barack Obama might not be re-elected to the Presidency in 2012. Yet as frightening as the prospects of a (probable) Gingrich presidency might seem (and we should all fear the asenscion to the Presidency of a man who advocates firing school janitors and replacing them with middle_school students) it is the manner in which he might be elected that should concern Americans the most. That is because in state legislatures around the nation the party that represents the interests of a small minority of wealthy Americans is mounting a full throated offensive against the principle of universal suffrage. Whether through laws that shorten the period during which a citizen can actually go to the polls and cast his ballot (remember, in this nation voting is always held on a work day and no law mandates that workers be given time off to cast their ballot) or laws that specifically target certain demographics for disenfranchisement, Republicans seem determined to win the Presidency at any cost and with little regard for the doubt these measures tend to cast on the very legitimacy of elections themselves. According to USA Today, early voting has been a made a target because, traditionally, more Democrats than Republicans vote early:
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If we had ten thousand dollars to bet, we’d start a pool among quarter-billionaires to name the results of a major annual awards presentation of which we conveniently were the sole judge, because it’s the equivalent of a buck or two to mortals, they wouldn’t miss it, and we could fund our retirement.

And wouldn’t you know, today we’re announcing the Fourth Annual Stinque Awards for Achievement in Infamy. If any quarter-billionaires would like to join our Exclusive! private pool, have your PA call our PA.

For the rest of you, the rules are simple: There aren’t any.

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TIM TEBOW TEBOWING Christmas Cards [eBay, via DodgerBlue]

40 Best Protest Signs of 2011 [Buzzfeed]

Title: “Spontaneous Happiness”

Author: Andrew Weil

Rank: 75

Blurb: “Everyone wants to be happy. But what does that really mean? Increasingly, scientific evidence shows us that true satisfaction and well-being come only from within.”

Review: “This is a great book for a fan of the good Doctor and a truly fantastic book for anyone who needs real practical help finding contentment in this world without joining a cult or taking another antidepressant.”

Customers Also Bought: Twenty-five other books by Andrew Weil.

Footnote: How nice of modern science to catch up with Aristotle.

Spontaneous Happiness [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]