Asterisks Not Included

Newt Gingrich, making a strong case for Stinque Asshole of the Year and a Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement, signed the Iowa Bigotry Pledge today. And while everyone’s noticing that it includes a promise to stand by Mrs. Newt III when Future Mrs. Newt IV tempts him, this part of his response caught our attention:

Defending Religious Liberty. As President, I will vigorously defend the First Amendment’s rights of religious liberty and freedom of speech against anyone who would try to stifle the free expression of believers.

Oh, you know where we’re going with this. So let’s go there:

Even though there are more than 100 mosques in the New York City area, there are no churches and synagogues in the entire country of Saudi Arabia.

The time to end this religious double standard is now

Please give the most significant gift that you possibly can to help us to not only inform all Americans but to specifically MOTIVATE patriots to ACTION to halt the building of this mosque. As one who holds your freedoms dearly, I know I can count on you.

The time to take a stand is now.

Please SELECT HERE to STOP the Ground Zero mosque! Your decisive DONATION to Real Action will help us to RALLY and ACTIVATE all Americans, to TAKE REAL ACTION!

Newt fundraising pitch, July 2010.

Yes, yes, we know: Dog Bites Man. But still.


“Believers” in the pledge means those who believe in Jesus. Duh.

Newt has scrubbed the offending message. He’s grown since then and is at peace with his overlord.

Newt Gingrich 2012: because America isn’t enough like Saudi Arabia… yet

wouldn’t their cash be better spent building churches in saudi arabia instead of tearing down mosques in the good ole us of a? think of all the jobs the job creators could create over there and i don’t think federal taxes apply on over seas income. i’m sure all the angry unemployed teabaggers would gladly sign up. joe the plumber could plumb all the new churches. focus on the family could supply all the preachers. i’m sure newt could find some new victims for the catholic priests in saudi arabia. the newly named academi could provide security. didn’t all this work out pretty good recently a little north of saudi? fox noise keeps telling me it did.

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