Asterisks Not Included
Newt Gingrich, making a strong case for Stinque Asshole of the Year and a Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement, signed the Iowa Bigotry Pledge today. And while everyone’s noticing that it includes a promise to stand by Mrs. Newt III when Future Mrs. Newt IV tempts him, this part of his response caught our attention:
Defending Religious Liberty. As President, I will vigorously defend the First Amendment’s rights of religious liberty and freedom of speech against anyone who would try to stifle the free expression of believers.
Oh, you know where we’re going with this. So let’s go there:
Even though there are more than 100 mosques in the New York City area, there are no churches and synagogues in the entire country of Saudi Arabia.
The time to end this religious double standard is now…
Please give the most significant gift that you possibly can to help us to not only inform all Americans but to specifically MOTIVATE patriots to ACTION to halt the building of this mosque. As one who holds your freedoms dearly, I know I can count on you.
The time to take a stand is now.
Please SELECT HERE to STOP the Ground Zero mosque! Your decisive DONATION to Real Action will help us to RALLY and ACTIVATE all Americans, to TAKE REAL ACTION!
Newt fundraising pitch, July 2010.
Yes, yes, we know: Dog Bites Man. But still.
“Believers” in the pledge means those who believe in Jesus. Duh.
“Read my lips: no new bitches”
Newt has scrubbed the offending message. He’s grown since then and is at peace with his overlord.
Newt Gingrich 2012: because America isn’t enough like Saudi Arabia… yet…
wouldn’t their cash be better spent building churches in saudi arabia instead of tearing down mosques in the good ole us of a? think of all the jobs the job creators could create over there and i don’t think federal taxes apply on over seas income. i’m sure all the angry unemployed teabaggers would gladly sign up. joe the plumber could plumb all the new churches. focus on the family could supply all the preachers. i’m sure newt could find some new victims for the catholic priests in saudi arabia. the newly named academi could provide security. didn’t all this work out pretty good recently a little north of saudi? fox noise keeps telling me it did.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Hoo boy, I’m guessing now former Tr666p lawyer Abracadabra *did not* get paid upfront in cash,…