Our guest columnist is Preznident of These United States in an alternate universe.

Women have a lot to lose under Obamacare, and I’ll give you an example. If you want to go into specifics, what the government can give, the government can take away. It certainly isn’t beyond the pale to think, in light of Kathleen Sebelius, the Health and Human Services Secretary — she said that it’s important that we have contraceptives because that prevents pregnancy, and pregnancy is more expensive to the federal government.

Going with that logic, according to our own Health and Human Services Secretary, it isn’t far-fetched to think that the President of the United States could say, we need to save health care expenses — the federal government will only pay for one baby to be born in the hospital per family, or two babies to be born per family. That could happen. We think it couldn’t?…

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“Karl Rove mockingly dismissed the value of Sarah and Todd Palin’s endorsements on a private conference call today, noting that their backing of Newt Gingrich in Alaska ‘demonstrated that endorsements don’t mean snot.'” Mitt Romney won Alaska last night. Gingrich came in fourth. [BuzzFeed, via Political Wire]

“One of the biggest — and most overlooked — surprises of Tuesday night was in a northeast Ohio Republican congressional primary. There, Samuel Wurzelbacher, who is better known from campaign 2008 as ‘Joe the Plumber,’ almost lost his House bid to an obscure auctioneer named Steve Kraus — when the dust settled, Wurzelbacher escaped with a narrow 51 to 48 percent victory.” [Politico]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1huadpHcjk

Let’s check in with Stinque senior political analyst Horatio Hippo on the seven hours of Super Tuesday coverage we watched.

[via Sully]

There’s been so much McLovin going on in Republican politics this past week, the only way to honor Super Tuesday is by getting our Super Freak on. So grab your fake ID and vote in our GOP Primary Open Thread/Sexy Party. It’s called fucking strategy, all right?

“We are seeing the fabric of this country fall apart, and it’s falling apart because of single moms.” —Rick Santorum in a February 1994 campaign appearance. A month later: “What we have is moms raising children in single-parent households simply breeding more criminals.” [Mother Jones]

Ann Romney, Monday:

“I don’t even consider myself wealthy…”

Sound the alarm! Rally the Cadillacs!

Oh, wait. There’s more:

“…which is an interesting thing. It can be here today and gone tomorrow,” she said, “and how I measure riches is by the friends I have and the loved ones I have and the people I care about in my life and that is where my values are and those are my riches so for me having done through a difficult period in my life both with MS and with breast cancer it has done something to my heart and it has softened my heart and made me realize there are many people suffering in this country and they are suffering from things that aren’t financial — and some people are suffering from things that are financial, as well — but those that are suffering, for me, I just have a larger capacity for love and for understanding.”

Y’know, we’re gonna let that one pass. It’s not like Mitt won’t serve up a better quote on a silver platter soon enough.