Okay, fine, let’s deal with this:

Two women from the Dominican Republic told The Daily Caller that Democratic New Jersey Sen. Bob Menendez paid them for sex earlier this year.

In interviews, the two women said they met Menendez around Easter at Casa de Campo, an expensive 7,000 acre resort in the Dominican Republic. They claimed Menendez agreed to pay them $500 for sex acts, but in the end they each received only $100.

First, let’s all agree that if true, Bob Menendez is a cheapskate. (For the record, the Menendez campaign denies the paid tryst.)

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“The brother of Kerry Bentivolio says the Michigan [GOP] congressional candidate, who’s favored to win on Tuesday, is ‘mentally unbalanced’ and could end up in jail. ‘I’ve never met anyone in my life who is conniving and dishonest as this guy,’ Phillip Bentivolio said… ‘He’s my brother so it’s hard to talk about this, but I believe that if he gets elected, he’ll eventually serve time in prison.'” [Politico]

Thankfully all I see through my peephole is delivery guys:

Silent Creative Partner draws so we don’t have to.

Our guest columnist is theoretical physicist Ben Tippett.

In 1928, the late Francis Wayland Thurston published a scandalous manuscript in purport of warning the world of a global conspiracy of occultists. Among the documents he gathered to support his thesis was the personal account of a sailor by the name of Gustaf Johansen, describing an encounter with an extraordinary island. Johansen’s descriptions of his adventures upon the island are fantastic, and are often considered the most enigmatic (and therefore the highlight) of Thurston’s collection of documents.

We contend that all of the credible phenomena which Johansen described may be explained as being the observable consequences of a localized bubble of spacetime curvature. Many of his most incomprehensible statements (involving the geometry of the architecture, and variability of the location of the horizon) can therefore be said to have a unified underlying cause.

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“But the last-minute nature of the call for donations left some in the campaign concerned that they would end up with an empty truck. So the night before the event, campaign aides went to a local Wal-Mart and spent $5,000 on granola bars, canned food, and diapers to put on display while they waited for donations to come in, according to one staffer.” [BuzzFeed]

Henri the Existential Cat casts aspersions upon your banal frivolity.

[via Know Your Meme]