Stump The Panel

HELP WANTED

Part of this is down to me watching oodles of Sport.  Part of it, too, is that I finally decided to get a new car (first in eleven years — which tells you all you need to know about my love of the car retailing industry — a dark blue Mustang V6 convertible if you must know).  But I am wanting for nominees for this week’s Psychometer.

But you ask: “what? Are you blind? The Talibunny’s “blood libel” speech counts, doesn’t it?” See, I envisioned the Psychometer as a tool to measure how badly Republicans would do it if they had unified control over the government again.  The point is, after this week, Sarah Palin will not, under any circumstances, hold any lever of power in the United States of America.

If you can tell me how any truly moderate person in this country (who are supposedly the pivot-point on which all elections swing) would ever pick Sarah Plain and Dumb over Black Eagle, please…. enlighten me.  Absent that: Sarah Palin quotes, in my mind, are out — because she will never, ever get elected to anything, ever again.

(There’s that.  But also: I can’t find a source on Louis Gohmert’s (Tex.) claim that Jared Loughner is some sort of ideal citizen for dirty hippie liberals.)

That’s my thinking this week.  Please add yours.

Wait: Clouds Are Traitors Now?

And so Joe Lieberman has, apparently, forced the hand of Amazon, who has advised Wikileaks to get off of its cloud.

This does pose an interesting question for us here, concerning the Stinque Kickback box, on the right-hand side of your screen.

Admittedly: this is not a decision for me, but for Fearless Leader.  But the question has no good result.  Either we keep the Amazon link and reward Amazon for giving bandwith to a self-absorbed, nefarious gasbag, or we punish Amazon for caving in to pressure from… a self-absorbed, nefarious gasbag.

Your move, nojo.

The Klingons Are Coming!

Stinque World Domination Headquarters, Wednesday, 3:05 p.m.

We’re not sure what the Sky Gods are telling us, but it can’t be good.

Doris Day Gets Blamed for Everything…

“Have you ever found yourself utterly repulsed by the latest immoral outrage — few of which are even cleverly disguised these days — and wondered, ‘How on earth did America succumb to such degradation?’ Have you ever wondered who opened the door to the sexual abyss?” [WND email]

Which Songs Were They Conceived To?

Jason Carter (b.1975), grandspawn of Jimmy Carter, won a Georgia state senate race on Tuesday. Christopher Nixon Cox (b.1979), grandspawn of Richard Nixon, is running for New York congresscritter from Long Island.

“I think bringing up the 1970s is great if you’re sitting in a history class,” says Chris, brushing off grandpa’s dedicated service to infamy. We agree. So let’s make history more fun for the kids: What songs were Chris’s and Jason’s parents enjoying when they danced the beast with two backs?

You Forgot Beastiality

Alfred Baldasaro, Republican representative to the House of the great state of New Hampshire, aims to take on the entire South Carolina Douchebag Delegation in a single outing. Can he do it? Let’s check in with his testimony in favor of a bill that would repeal his state’s same-sex marriage law:

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A Thesaurus of Earthly Delights

The Da Vinci Clod.Joe Wilson, last seen trying to turn Congress into Parliament — apparently not all European traditions are bad — either rivals Homer Simpson for stupidity, or fears that his constituents do:

You know, I’m really disappointed, and I actually agree with Vice President Cheney that the President is dithering. And I actually had to look up what “dithering” meant, and it’s “indecisive.” And that’s what the President is being.

Joe might also want to look up blockhead, clod, cretin, dimwit, dingbat, dolt, dope, dork, dullard, dumbbell, dummy, dunce, dunderhead, fool, idiot, ignoramus, imbecile, jughead, lamebrain, moron, nitwit, pea brain, and simpleton. Because we’re sure we’ll get around to using most of them to describe him in the months ahead.

Rep. Joe ‘You lie!’ Wilson: I needed to look up ‘dithering’ in the dictionary, but I still agree with Cheney [Think Progress]