Not even scalpers can sell that one.Lacking some decent porn news to post later tonight, let’s check in instead on a couple of ongoing political handjobs.

First up: John McCain, last seen aghast that Al Franken would cut off Douchebag Joe mid-douche:

I’ve been around here 20-some years. First time I’ve ever seen a member denied an extra minute or two to finish his remarks.

You don’t wave a red flag like that in front of an army of pissed-off bloggers without somebody finding the dirt:

The PRESIDING OFFICER. The Senator’s time has expired.

Mr. DAYTON. I ask for unanimous consent that I have 30 seconds more to finish my remarks.

Mr. McCAIN. I object.

October 10, 2002. But wait — there’s more! What was at issue? Nothing more than the Iraq War authorization.

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Screaming and stomping his widdle feet:

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), who was of course President Obama’s Republican rival in the 2008 general election, has announced that he will vote against Sonia Sotomayor, Obama’s first nominee to the Supreme Court.

In his floor statement, McCain harshly criticized Sotomayor as an activist judge who does not respect the legislative branch, the written law, or the will of the people — and who is now trying to hide from that record ….

This is very good news for Rudy Giuliani.

McCain Opposes Sotomayor, Attacks Her as Activist Judge [TPM]

APTOPIX McCain CampaignI’m trying to follow the logic behind statements like this:

It was a bad beginning because it wasn’t what we promised the American people — what President Obama promised the American people, that we would sit down together.

That’s Sarah Palin’s failed-VP choice, John McCain, on the stimulus bill and the state of the failed Obama presidency. It’s one of the many attacks Republicans have made against Obama because his bill failed to deliver on his bipartisan promise, because even though the bill was cut to please Republicans, and included a whole bunch of completely useless taxcuts, none of them voted for the package. Barry even invited those fuckers over to his house for beer, but apparently that didn’t count as sitting down together.  So, let’s impeach him, cut some taxes, and move the fuck on.  Read more »

[ NBC Flash video not available. ]

But we’ll grant that Cindy is scary. She reminds of the woman in The Thin Blue Line who makes up a shooting she didn’t see just to get the attention. Anyway, since y’all are buzzing about SNL’s QVC opener with Psychogeezer, here it is.

Talibunny and Psychogeezer no longer even holding hands on the bus

Talibunny and Psychogeezer no longer even holding hands on the bus. Silly Psychogeezer, you think she gave a shit about your alleged politics, you stupid fucking twit?

Robert Draper in his ‘In the Home Stretch’ column at Blog GQ wrote this week that the Psychogeezer and the Talibunny weren’t talking any more. Their disaffection for each other had reached an apex in which the Psychogeezer refused to sit with the Talibunny during a recent extended stretch on the road with the campaign.

At least that is the way the story was relayed to him but who really knows? The Talibunny may have reorganized her alliances around any number of future scenarios and lined up Psychogeezer stalwarts for her 2012 campaign and begun alienating everyone who didn’t prove apparently useful for her plans, in good auld Talibunny style. Here’s Draper’s tale:

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From the Fox News homepage: A graphic you’d never expect to see. We’ve been ignoring the Drudge-fueled fracas over the White Woman Assaulted By Black Obama Supporter, but now that the story is collapsing faster than Psychogeezer’s polling, we thought you’d enjoy a rare Fair & Balanced moment.

McCain Campaign Volunteer Admits Alleged Attack Was a Hoax [Fox]

McCain Communications Director Gave Reporters Incendiary Version Of “Carved B” Story Before Facts Were Known [TPM]

I truly don’t know what to make of this.  It’s a stunner:

Al-Qaida supporters suggested in a Web site message this week they would welcome a pre-election terror attack on the U.S. as a way to usher in a McCain presidency.

The message, posted Monday on the password-protected al-Hesbah Web site, said if al-Qaida wants to exhaust the United States militarily and economically, “impetuous” Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain is the better choice because he is more likely to continue the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Net effect? [Presume that U.S. Americans forget that a Republican Administration has failed to catch Public Enemy No. 1 in seven years. Big leap, I know.] Anyway, these goons are basically saying that they want U.S. America to elect the Geezer. So, naturally, patriotic Americans will thus vote for Black Eagle, because who wants to vote the way terrorists want? But Barry’s a [insert all absolute falsehoods here], as EVERYBODY KNOWS. So you can’t vote for him.

Bob Barr? Your time to shine.