Electioneering

Nobody can accuse San Francisco of having boring political scandals. Luckily for me I’m in the gay senate district, not the Asian senate district, of SF.

Innocent until proven guilty, and I don’t think Sen. Yee was the original target of the FBI investigation, but holy hell:

State Sen. Leland Yee, an outspoken advocate of gun control and open government, was arrested Wednesday on charges that he conspired to traffic in firearms and traded favors in Sacramento for bribes – campaign cash paid by men who turned out to be undercover FBI agents.

Yee, a Democrat who represents half of San Francisco and most of San Mateo County and is running for secretary of state, was one of 26 people ensnared in a five-year federal investigation that targeted Raymond “Shrimp Boy” Chow, a notorious Chinatown gangster who had claimed to have gone straight, officials said.

The charging docs read like something straight out of Hollywood. Read more »

VO [BAUER]: The following takes place between 10:00PM and 11:00PM.

[INT. — White House office.  RAHM, A.G. HOLDER, SECY. LAHOOD, and low-level staffers.]

RAHM: If that cocksucking truck driver takes Ted Kennedy’s seat, everything we’ve worked for is lost! I want answers, sons-of-bitches….

[cell phone rings]

…and I want them right fucking…. What the hell is it, Eric?

A.G. HOLDER: Rahm! I got Jack Bauer.

Read more »

f1-1Some idiots have proposed that the smart move for Mitt Romney would be to run for Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat, so that Mitts will poised for Presidential victory in 2012.  This would be just like how his experience as Governor of Massachusetts set the stage for his 2008 victory, which never happened, and  was sadly stolen from him by a shitting dog, his not-magical-enough Mormon underpanties, and his utter unlikability. This dude argues that Republicans would like to gain a Senate seat (It’s True!), and that it should be an easy win since people don’t like Democrats anymore (This may be true in some places, but only a little, and not in Massachusetts.  Plus, even fewer people like Republicans).  Also, Romney’s got name recognition on his side. Of course, that last argument forgets that everybody who knows Romney doesn’t like him. Everybody knows who Dick Cheney is, too, but I’ll bet Massachusetts wouldn’t elect that spiteful geezer, either. Read more »

25emanuel_550

I just hope to God Rahm Emanuel isn’t using taxpayer money to come after Alaska.

That’s Palin spokeslady Meg Stapleton, basically saying that Rahm Emanuel, and by extension, his community organizing friends, are responsible for Sarah Palin’s need to quit everything. Of course, she doesn’t realize that if Emanuel had actually “come after Alaska” (Sarah Palin is Alaska!) then she would be found at the bottom of her fishing lake, shot in a grizzly hunting “accident”, or smashed to pieces after the brakes were cut on her snowmobile. Rahm doesn’t bother with silly ethics complaints, because if he wanted to, he could fuck you up until you’re dead, for real.

Meg also said that they’re going after her because she “represents the biggest threat to Obama.” Because yes, despite the fact that the election is three and a half years away and Obama needs to deal with the economy, health care, the gays, the Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, North Korea, and Silvio Berlusconi first, he’s really the most worried about a half-literate two year governor whose biggest accomplishments have been having a special needs baby and becoming a grandmother in her early 40s.
Read more »

arlen-specter_subLike the gay old socialist queen he is, Arlen Specter is becoming a Democrat, so he can get elected until he is 100 years old.  Looks like we don’t need to pay attention to Norm Coleman anymore Norm Coleman is now more important than he has ever been.

Double win!!

Specter to Switch Parties [NYT]
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You can file this polling data under the heading “Things that make me sad.” As ineffectual as he’s been, Governor Paterson seems to be more of a well-meaning boob than the calculating rat-faced attack bitch he may have to face, and he’s easier on the eyes (haha, blind joke!). Giuliani doesn’t even hold the appeal of being a gay-loving cross-dresser anymore, now that he has come out (haha gay pun!) against gay marriage. The only thing to do is get another calculating rat-faced attack dog back in the game for the Democrats. So, Spitzer for Governor! We want a man in Albany who only uses the numbers nine and eleven when he’s counting his whore diamonds.