Megan McArdle at the Atlantic:

No matter how furious Democrats are, they are not going to punish him as long as he can break a filibuster for them.

Yes, Joe Lieberman’s vote on the Canadian imported-beer quota is going to be very important, and Democrats mustn’t risk his displeasure for something as inconsequential as healthcare reform.

Lieberman Stabs Health Care In The Back [Atlantic]

We drive a Civic, use curly-fry lightbulbs, recycle everything in sight. But we’re American, and, well, we have our limits:

Greenpeace has come up with a “toilet paper guide,” which looks at recycled content and the use of chlorine bleaches.

“When you’re doing your grocery shopping or just stopping by the corner store to grab a roll of toilet paper, make an informed decision as both a consumer and someone concerned about the world’s ancient forests,” the guide advises.

Look, we feel really bad when a centuries-old tree goes up our butt, but when you put it this way — “Do we really need toilet paper to be as soft as it can be, or do we need it just soft enough?” — we’ll let someone else grab the catalog. We’ve done our share.

Soft toilet paper becomes target of environmentalists [McClatchy]

Just to round out today’s discussion of People With Stuff Up Their Arse, we offer this breaking news from the Gateway to Fergus:

An inmate at the Merced County Main Jail had a homemade knife surgically removed from his body cavity last month, according to Merced county Sheriff’s officials.

He now faces concealed weapons charges.

The inmate, 19-year-old Rance Johnson, approached corrections officials Nov. 18, complaining about an item stuck inside his rectum, causing pain…

Johnson told investigators he had no idea what the item was, that he’d found it in an interview room and tried smuggling the weapon by inserting it into his rectum. The item was wrapped inside tissue paper and placed in a sandwich bag before it was inserted.

Since we’re ignoring the Senate healthcare debate this week, we’ll note here that the invasive-rectum procedure was covered by generous taxpayers. “It’s unfortunate,” said Sheriff Mark Pazin, “but it’s a mandated surgery.”

Merced County Main Jail inmate’s stashed ‘shank’ is surgically removed [Merced Sun-Star]

If you’re wondering when those invisible-fence collars attached to wingnuts get activated, here’s an indication:

Rep. John Shadegg (R-AZ) has apologized for suggesting that, if 9/11 trials are held in New York City, Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s daughter could be kidnapped.

“I saw the mayor of New York said today, ‘We’re tough. We can do it.’ Well, Mayor, how are you going to feel when it’s your daughter that’s kidnapped at school by a terrorist?” Shadegg said last night.

This afternoon, he told the Associated Press that he’s sorry — but added that his point was still a good one.

On the other hand, Michael Mukasey’s collar seems to be malfunctioning.

Shadegg Apologizes For Saying NYC Mayor’s Daughter Could Get Kidnapped [TPM]

John Boehner, Ohio:

The Obama Administration’s irresponsible decision to prosecute the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks in New York City puts the interests of liberal special interest groups before the safety and security of the American people.

Joe Lieberman, Connecticut:

It is inconceivable that we would bring these alleged terrorists back to New York for trial, to the scene of the carnage they created eight years ago, and give them a platform to mock the suffering of their victims and the victims’ families, and rally their followers to continue waging jihad against America.

Read more »

This must rate as the meanest practical joke of the year:

Friends and associates are encouraging Roger Ailes — Fox News founder, chairman and CEO — to jump into the political arena for real by running for President in 2012. “Ailes knows how to frame an issue better anybody and that’s what we need now,” says one Ailes friend who is encouraging him to run. Frank Luntz, for one, tells Playbook that Ailes could be a force if does it. “I have known Roger Ailes for 29 years,” says Luntz. “No one knows how to win better than Roger.”

There’s nothing we can do in the circumstance but play along: Yes. Oh God, yes.

Image: Pissed on Politics

Update: Mr. Ailes regrets.

Hobbled by ethics problems stress fractures in both feet, ass-wagging sensation Tom DeLay is withdrawing from Dancing with the Stars. And since everyone’s been nice to us, we’re withdrawing our threat to post the close-up shot from his first appearance, pixelated here to protect your vision.

However, we didn’t promise not to mess with your head, so we’ll leave you with Tom’s advice for healing what ails ya: “I’ve got a bone stimulator machine that I put on them.”