“It is possible, I suppose, to imagine an extraordinary circumstance in which it would be necessary and appropriate under the Constitution and applicable laws of the United States for the President to authorize the military to use lethal force within the territory of the United States.” —Eric Holder, not talking about Abraham Lincoln. [Mother Jones]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pyorz7iIwA

If, like us, the thought has crossed your mind lately that politics is worse than listening to turtles fuck, now’s your opportunity to test the comparison.

Title: “Dr. Seuss’s Beginner Book Collection”

Author: Dr. Seuss

Rank: 94

Blurb: “A perfect gift for new parents, birthday celebrations, and happy occasions of all kinds.”

Customers Also Bought: “A Light in the Attic” by Shel Silverstein

Review: “Unless you want your kid to pursue a career as a gangster rapper, or become a huge tree hugging liberal, I would stay away from this set of books.” (Squism Chaser)

Other Reviews by Squism Chaser:

Read more »

Our guest columnist was recommended to us by NRO’s Kathryn Jean Lopez.

Are you infinitely thankful to God for having given us such a wonderful, wise and benevolent pope in Benedict XVI.?

Do you sincerely hope that the Church will be granted a worthy successor: a rock of faith, a leader open to the Holy Spirit, a pope prayerful and holy?

Read more »

[Politico]

“Conservatives are trying so hard to highlight controversies, no matter how trivial, we have forgotten the basics of reporting: W5 + H as I learned in grade school, also known as who, what, where, when, why, and how… We need to establish a baseline for integrity in reporting that then allows us to highlight the truly outrageous.” —Erick Erickson, pleading for reality-based wingnut journalism. [RedState]

You really have to see the full page…

Here’s how to play the Home Game:

1. Grab the URL from any web page.

2. Add “http://translate-pirate.com/cgi-bin/xlate.cgi?page=” in front of it.

3. Fire!

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re about to blow off three deadlines.

[Translate-Pirate.com]