Our guest columnist is Amazon reviewer loosenut, writing presciently in 2005.

I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger’s shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger’s scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said “that’s the worst security ever!” But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.

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On our list of potential morning topics we had DADT repeal, the danger of using freeware hacking tools, a Fourth Amendment email victory, the DeviantART database crack, and a brewing CPAC scandal.

So, naturally, we went with the German children’s toy dachshund that poops.

[via Sully]

“Disgraced Washington lobbyist Jack Abramoff has finished his stint working at a kosher pizzeria in Baltimore and is now on probation… Tov Pizza owner Ron Rosenbluth tells The Associated Press that he enjoyed his time working with Abramoff and the former lobbyist was very helpful. Abramoff worked on marketing and customer outreach for the pizza shop.” [AP, via Political Wire]

“As Dr. Jehan El-Bayoumi was attending to Holbrooke in the emergency room at George Washington University Hospital, she told him to relax and asked what she could do to comfort him, according to an aide who was present. Holbrooke, who was in severe pain, said jokingly that it was hard to relax because he had to worry about the difficult situation in Afghanistan and Pakistan.” [WaPo, via Weigel]

Atheist Ads on Buses Rattle Fort Worth [NYT]

We’ve had some issues lately with actions taken against WikiLeaks opponents. Sure, it sounds like fun to take down the Visa and MasterCard public websites, but it does nothing to impede their operations (dudes, go after the authorization servers!), and it sets a bad example. Shouting down your opponents — which is what a “denial of service” attack amounts to — just makes you out to be a bunch of petulant hooligans.

Which is why we’re pleased to see that “Anonymous,” one of the more prominent ad hoc cyberprotest groups, is adopting a new tactic:

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The most awesome trailer you’ll see all year. Until Warner Bros. gets it banished.

[via Weigel]