You know you’re an American when you take an unhealthy delight in blowing shit up.

[via Daring Fireball]

WTF? Hang on while we figure it out…

First of many updates: He’s not giving a reason. We’ll start the guessing with the Comcast takeover of NBC Universal.

Update #2: While we’re waiting for Interwebs to light up, let’s run the latest photo from his Twitter feed.

9:27pm ET: MSNBC runs Olbermann promo…

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“Greenland’s massive ice sheet experienced record surface melting and runoff last year, according to research released today. Unusually warm conditions in much of the country helped extend the annual melting season by up to 50 days longer in 2010 than the average observed between 1979 and 2009, researchers found.” [NYT, via PourMeCoffee]

Our afternoon guest columnist is the host of the popular Fox News program “Glenn Beck’s Paranoid Style”, spittling last June 10. Elsewhere in Cyberville, the penultimate paragraph is getting a lot of play today. We’re having a difficult time making sense of any of it.

The media and the politician have all of this wrong. In every single walk of life — you want to know why TV doesn’t reflect you? You want to know why Washington doesn’t reflect you? Because they don’t understand, from the radical revolutionaries to the Islamic extremists — and yes, DOJ, they do exist — to the Tea Party movements.

Just because you in Washington and you who are so out of touch with life in the media, just because you don’t believe in anything doesn’t mean nobody else does. We do. You know why you’re confused by this show? It’s because I believe in something. You don’t.

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“Yes, the Agriculture Department said Thursday, it did have a hand in the recent mass killing of starlings in South Dakota. According to the USDA, the birds were poisoned in Nebraska to help farmers who had complained about starling flocks defecating into livestock feed troughs. The birds dropped dead en masse after migrating north.” [Yahoo]

It took us a couple years, but we finally figured out what Our Preznit is missing.

Well, besides a backbone.

What he lacks, what prevents him from connecting with The American People, is a Crazy Family.

Michelle? The kids? Craig Robinson? They’re all the best America has to offer. And America resents them for it.

Where are the fun-loving Twins? Roger Clinton? Neil Bush? Barbara Bush? Ron & Michael? Jane Wyman?

Where, for the love of all that is Exceptional about America, is Billy Carter?

Because while you can make a case for Assorted Nixons, Kennedys and Eisenhowers, it’s really Billy where America’s love affair with Presidential Black Sheep began. Never mind whether you would share a pint with The Leader of the Free World — it was more fun knowing that the awesome power to destroy humanity with the push of a button was nothing compared to the awesome embarrassment of a relation who was along for the ride. That we can identify with.

Thank God our Shadow Preznit is ably filling the void, or we don’t know what we would do.

Love, Lies, and the Drama of Facebook [Mercede Johnston, via Sully]

“As part of his plan to remake all of pop culture in his image, Will Smith has begun prepping to update the musical Annie as a vehicle for Daddy’s little X-chromosome edition Willow, who’s been preparing her whole life to play the singing wind-up plaything for a rich man.” [AV Club, via John Hodgman]