nojo

On Iraq:

We build a school, we build a road, they blow up the school, we build another school, we build another road they blow them up, we build again, in the meantime we can’t get a fucking school in Brooklyn.

On oil:

We have nobody in Washington that sits back and says, you’re not going to raise that fucking price.

On Chinese imports:

Listen you motherfuckers, we’re going to tax you 25 percent.

If he keeps this shit up, we may have no fucking choice but to fucking endorse him.

Donald Trump delivers several F-bombs during his speech in Las Vegas [KTNV]

Our guest columnist is the Associated Press.

Editors:

Friday is royal wedding day in London and our report will look a little different.

As Prince William and Kate Middleton say their vows, The Associated Press will be alerting every development, running live video in SD and HD, tweeting and posting on Facebook, updating a multifaceted interactive, sending four radio packages an hour and filing hundreds of photographs from key vantage points.

We will also be creating something new: an hours-long running account of the wedding in progress for text subscribers — a little like what we’ve done with major sporting events such as the Super Bowl and top World Cup matches. Our text coverage for the big day will be three-tiered: A minute-by-minute running account of the events, APNewsAlerts and APNewsNows when events merit, and full stories including a mainbar and sidebars.

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Texas state representative Leo Berman is, um, burning (sorry) with questions about The First Birth Certificate:

Why did it take the president so long, amid a conservative firestorm, to release it? Why does it look “brand new,” he said, when it’s supposed to be five decades old? Why doesn’t the hospital listed on the birth certificate have a “plaque on the door” commemorating Obama’s birth there? And has anyone checked with the delivery room doctor listed on the birth certificate (whose name Berman says is curiously difficult to make out)?

In order:

1. It took so long because it’s fun to watch Birthers twist in the wind.

2. It looks brand new because it’s a microfilm copy printed on fresh paper.

3. Ask the hospital.

4. The Baby Doc’s dead, Jim.

Regarding that last answer, let’s bring in Eric Bolling of Fox Business for special credit:

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Comics Alliance, one of our regular sources for offbeat news, reported yesterday that Superman is giving up his U.S. citizenship. (Yes, yes, he’s not “natural born”, and all that.) The plot twist is that he’s saving the world from Iran right now, and he doesn’t want his actions to reflect on the U.S. government.

Well, fine, we thought. Pass. We haven’t reported on the Gay Archie character either, after all.

But then it turns up in today’s political news: “Leftist Crap in the Comic Books: Superman to Renounce American Citizenship”. Thanks, Newsbusters!

And so we return to the original post and discover a Don’t Read the Comments extravaganza!

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We just got curious about the relationship between tornadoes and climate change — this is looking like a record-breaking month for twisters — and happily for us, so did WaPo’s Andrew Freedman. So instead of calling a bunch of meteorologists and surveying the literature, we’re going to relay his take, granting that it’s not definitive.

First, tornadoes require a specific recipe to happen: warmth, humidity, a strong jet stream, and wind shear. Add a cold front, and there go the cows.

It’s the jet stream — perhaps caused by La Niña in the Pacific — that’s forcing the issue in the South. The Gulf of Mexico is also running up to 2.5 degrees Celsius above average, providing more evaporated moisture to the brew.

Wait — warm seas? That’s the climate-change smoking gun, isn’t it?

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Among the many delightful responses to Wednesday’s dramatic reveal of The Birth Certificate of The Preznit of These United States, pride of place must go to WorldNetDaily’s Jerome Corsi, whose upcoming book, Where’s the Birth Certificate?, just suffered the most spectacular Spoiler Alert! in American history.

Because while his life’s work goes down in flames, Jerome Corsi stands defiantly amid the destruction, proclaiming Fiddle dee dee! As God is my witness, they’re not going to lick me!

Or, more prosaically:

A key problem for Obama is that birth certificates issued to twin girls born one day later at Kapi’olani hospital, the Nordykes, are the Rosetta Stone of deciphering both Obama’s previously released short-form Certification of Live Birth and the newly released purported copy of his long-form birth certificate.

Oooooooh, a new plot twist!

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Speaking of disproven conspiracy theories, the notion that Donald Trump is just drumming up publicity for his reality show isn’t bearing fruit:

But while Trump has gotten plenty of airtime by suggesting, wrongly, that the president was not born in the United States, Nielsen ratings for “Celebrity Apprentice” are lower than they were a year ago — and dropping fast.

What? How could the pop-culture milestone of a Busey-Meatloaf Standoff be failing?

One reason Trump’s audience is abandoning him may be that, according to demographic research of primetime television viewers provided exclusively to The Atlantic by National Media Inc., a firm that places political ads on television, the audience for “Celebrity Apprentice” is among the most liberal in primetime television… Rather than add viewers, Trump foolishly appears to be driving them away.

In related news, the collective taste of liberals sucks.

Trump’s Birther Antics Are Driving Away His Liberal Audience [Atlantic]