Against our better judgment, we ended up watching the Redshirt Republican debate over dinner last night, and managed to keep our food down.

(Disclosure: “Keep our food down” is here used for obligatory comedic effect only. “Managed to stay awake” would be closer to the truth.)

We’ll spare you the recap, since we’re not wonky enough to really care. But for a very brief moment, Herman Cain said something mildly interesting: That as President, he would consult with Experts and make Decisions, since he’s a veteran Decision-Maker.

We know, we know: Herman Cain is The Decider, Part II.

Or: That’s what every businessman running for political office says.

Or: Didn’t President Obama consult with Experts and make a Decision just the other day? We seem to remember hearing about it Sunday night.

But to take Herman Cain almost seriously for what is likely the first and last time: What kind of Decisions does he have experience making?

You know the shorthand: Pizza! Meat or Veggie? Does Citizen Cain have an opinion on the controversial Pineapple Question? When you ask whether anyone else wants the last slice, what happens if somebody says Yes?

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David Koch is not impressed:

“He just made the decision, it was obvious where the guy is. He was one of the worst terrorists organizing attacks on the United States. I mean, no president in his right mind would not approve that decision to go eliminate him. So he’s getting a lot of recognition and his polls have jumped up, but his decision was the easiest of them all. The real hard work was done by the intelligence and the SEALs.”

And besides, David Koch knows who’s the real terrorist:

Obama is “a hardcore socialist,” Koch told us, “and he’s marvelous at pretending to be something other than that, but that is what I believe he truly is, a hardcore socialist. He’s scary to me.”

This report is presented as part of our continuing public-service series, The More You Know About Billionaires.

David Koch Gives President Obama Zero Credit for Bin Laden’s Death [New York]

Your 9/11 memories may vary.

Bush feels Obama ignoring ex-president’s role in Osama Bin Laden strike for ‘victory lap’: source [NY Daily News]

“The Obama administration has floated a transportation authorization bill that would require the study and implementation of a plan to tax automobile drivers based on how many miles they drive.” Except the story says they didn’t. [The Hill]

We were nine the year of Martin and Bobby, and because we were politically precocious, the names of James Earl Ray and Sirhan Sirhan are very familiar to us. But our precociousness only went so far: We draw a blank on Tet and Chicago, although we do remember Tricky Dick on Laugh-In. (Answer: Yes. Because you’re a fucking asshole.)

Jumping ahead a few years, we’ll happily admit that we only watched Senator Sam and the Watergate hearings because they pre-empted the Match Game — and only until the networks started rotating daily coverage among themselves. Sure, we paid attention, but it’s not like we went out of our way.

You’ll forgive us, then, if we don’t get an easy chuckle out of this factoid making the rounds:

Teens Don’t Know Who Osama Bin Laden Is, According to Yahoo! Search Trends

That was Yahoo’s Monday report on Sunday-night search activity. Boing Boing combined it with some Jaw-Droppingly Clueless Tweets, and the meme was off and running.

And really, who can resist? You can blame the kids, you can blame their teachers, you can blame their parents, you can blame the media, you can even blame society. Everybody wins!

In our case, we’ll blame Yahoo.

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“A Texas high school teacher has been placed on administrative leave following an incident where he allegedly told a 9th grade Muslim girl in his algebra class ‘I bet that you’re grieving’ on Monday following the death of Osama bin Laden.” [TPM] Bonus cross-cultural reference: Algebra?

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