Title: “Winners Never Cheat: Even in Difficult Times”

Author: Jon M. Huntsman (Senior)

Rank: 8,009

Blurb: “The man who revolutionized the world by giving it the plastic spoon, fork, knife and Styrofoam take-out food container will once again change how you live your life.” —Glenn Beck

Review: “One of my new found favorite quotes is ‘Values provide us with ethical water wings.'”

Customers Also Bought: “Make Your Own Rules: A Renegade Guide to Unconventional Success”, by Wayne Rogers and Josh Young

Footnote: So Dad’s a self-made billionaire? That’s more interesting to us than Junior being Mitt’s Mormon understudy.

Winners Never Cheat [Fuck Amazon]

We’ve been looking for an excuse all week to run this picture. We’ve now decided that “Saturday” is as good an excuse as any.

[via Know Your Meme]

Former first lady Betty Ford dies at the age of 93 [CNN]

While we’re happy with recent legislative action regarding the civil rights of American citizens, philosophically we don’t think such things should be subject to majority votes — equality under the law is equality under the law, full stop. Bigotry under color of democracy is still bigotry.

And this is how things are supposed to work:

The Pentagon has ordered a halt to all separations of gay troops under “don’t ask, don’t tell” and will begin accepting applications from prospective recruits who identify themselves as homosexuals.

The moratorium issued Friday came after a ruling Wednesday by a federal appeals court in California ordering the Defense Department to immediately stop enforcing the law. The court said the law is unconstitutional because it treats gay Americans differently under the law.

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“While most Transportation Security Administration employees are busy groping people or taking naked pictures of them, the cops say one of those employees was putting fliers’ electronics down his pants.” [Broward/Palm Beach New Times]

Our guest columnist is a leading Koch factotum.

Senator Patty Murray, Chair
Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee

Dear Senator Murray:

For many months now, your colleagues in the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee leadership have engaged in a series of disparagements and ad hominem attacks about us, apparently as part of a concerted political and fundraising strategy. Just recently, Senator Reid wrote in a DSCC fundraising letter that Republicans are trying to “force through their extreme agenda faster than you can say ‘Koch Brothers.’”

So you can imagine my chagrin when I got a letter from you on June 17 asking us to make five-figure contributions to the DSCC. You followed that up with a voicemail indicating that, if we contributed heavily enough, we would garner an invitation to join you and other Democratic leaders at a retreat in Kiawah Island this September.

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We’ve been ignoring the debt-ceiling talks as long as possible, in part because it’s a ginned-up crisis that nobody cares about, in part because the daily play-by-play is fucking boring — but really because we just want to know how much we’re getting screwed and be done with it.

We’ve been so heroic in our disregard, we managed to ignore an entire day of flailing, following the deliberately provocative suggestion the Social Security and Medicare are now among the lambs to be sacrificed to the Gods of Bipartisanship.

At least, that is, until Glenn Greenwald socked us in the kisser:

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