America’s not just about pepper-spray-enhanced “competitive shopping” — it’s also about good ol’ fashioned mêlées over two-dollar waffle makers. You can’t help but love America. But only at a safe distance.
Our guest Black Friday columnist says that mixing firearms and alcohol makes a great gift idea!
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We celebrate Thanskgiving the traditional way, with our Third Annual Turkey Roast. With any luck, one of the turkeys will be a trivia answer in a year or two.

Hey, what’s a quick way to annoy the fuck out of anybody who might agree with you?
Some demonstrators are planning to occupy retailers on Black Friday to protest “the business that are in the pockets of Wall Street.”
Organizers are encouraging consumers to either occupy or boycott retailers that are publicly traded, according to the Stop Black Friday website.
Brilliant!
Demonstrators Plan to Occupy Retailers on Black Friday [CNBC]
Image: Occupy the North Pole t-shirt [Despair, Inc., via RevZafod]

What kind of jerks would schedule a GOP Debate for Tuesday night of Thanksgiving Week? That would be the Heritage Foundation, the American Enterprise Institute, and CNN.
And what kind of jerks would celebrate it with an Open Thread/Turkey Shoot? That would be us.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Gawd, you keep missing the target!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! TACO Tuesday. The demented methhead next door blinked. Delay on trade war albeit…
SANFRANLEFTY • TRUMP FINISHES CEASE FIRE AGREEMENT WITH THE AYATOLLAH ! ! ! CHAINSAW!!!!
NOJO • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! @Beggars Biscuit: Yup, still here, if enjoying a long slumber.
BEGGARS BISCUIT • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! The drapery not really covering his name is not a feature, it’s part of the operating system.…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Can't that dumb motherfucker get anything right? Now he's trying to Drill Baby Drill Greenland…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Ding fucking dong! The bitch is dayud!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 So…. Does blockquote no longer work? Am I 2026’s only loser? (see blurb)