The Day of the Waffle

America’s not just about pepper-spray-enhanced “competitive shopping” — it’s also about good ol’ fashioned mêlées over two-dollar waffle makers. You can’t help but love America. But only at a safe distance.

[via @m_weber]

I love my friends and some of my family specifically. I hate people, humanity en masse, in general. This is just another reason why.

On Thanksgiving Day, I had a discussion with a loud, brash, her-opinion-is-the-only-one-that-matters-and-feels-entitled-to-be-a-arbitrary-bitch aunt about Black Friday and why anyone would want to subject themselves to that. She chided me and responded that it’s better than watching football (OK, those games don’t start until noon or later), and there’s the “thrill of the hunt.”

If that’s your bag, and you want to get trampled on for bargains and simply want to be in the “thrill of the hunt” that can result in your death, be my guest.

Mr. Cub and I do not have the thrill-seeking shopping gene and thus slept until 10, and did not leave the house until 2 in order to go deposit money into savings accounts/IRAs (I got a graduation gift from my grandfather; he got a 401K distribution after leaving his crappy retail job). The highlight of our day was trying out a new barbeque joint before walking around a park. This was Mr. Cub’s first free Black Friday after having been a retail worker for 10 years, and we needed to celebrate the sweet freedom.

Waiting in line: 12 hours
Number of bruises: 5
Cost of a waffle iron you’ll only use once: $2
Endless mockery of you and your fellow idiots around the world: Priceless

@rptrcub: are you officially graduated yet? Does this mean you and Mr. Cub can now leave for saner lands?

I spent part of a windy and cold Black Friday cutting firewood and picking up dog shit in the yard. Played my guitar a bit, had a late leftover ham lunch* with my parents and watched “Super 8” in the evening with Mrs RML and Son of RML. Pretty good movie, might be a bit scary for younger kids. We think it’s our little family’s best Thanksgiving so far for us and our dozen guests. The ham bone will flavor a pot of frijoles tomorrow.

Saw my brother on Wednesday on his way out to spend Thanksgiving with his fiance on the Hopi Reservation. “We had a dysfunctional family when we were growing up,” he said. “We loved each other and got along even though it was tough sometimes.”

“More abnormal than dysfunctional, but yeah,” I said.

May you all be abnormal this holiday season.

* Don’t think the turkey (urp) made it to the fridge fast enough on Thursday.

@SanFranLefty: Dec. 13. We’ve been having serious conversations about our escape plans, but we’ve got to get him a degree or technical college certificate — something — to help make him more employable, first. I know we could do higher ed out there but then we’d have to wait on gaining residency status. We had a talk about the west coast, from the Bay Area northward to the Canadian border — specifically, we honed in on Portland, but I’m open to wherever I could get a job.

There’s also the matter of a new publication starting up at the current job where I would be the senior writer and could actually write things without being told, after dumbing the story down to the level that Sarah Palin could understand it, that the story was “too sciencey.” Saving up extra $ from the new position might put us in a better position to start over out west.

@redmanlaw: I thankfully did not leave my grandparents’ house with leftovers. My cousin brought over several of his friends who couldn’t make it back home for the holiday, and there was little left. I didn’t even bring home a casserole dish, since I baked my macaroni and cheese in a foil pan.

@rptrcub: We have a couple of national labs (Sandia and Los Alamos) that do some heavy duty science. Might check their webpages for openings. Jamie in PHX is an hour away from ABQ via Southwest. Also, we tend to treat people like human beings here in New Mexico.

@SanFranLefty: Nice day in San Lefty today, at least at the airport. I’m boarding a flight to Beijing in a couple of hours. Last year when I was there, Stinque was not blocked. Let’s see if they’ve learned anything. They would do well to fear the dissident, Mike Li.

@SanFranLefty: We should all chip in and buy those crazy Cubs a Jello mold for graduation.

I’m not ashamed to say I wandered out into Black Friday hell yesterday, but I went to Office Max for a cheap external hard drive and B&N for the nook my mom wants. No lines, no fuss, no muss. Was done in an hour at a civilized hour. Fuck that midnight at Walmart shit.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: I went to the grocery store for store-brand Drano to unclog the drain for the washing machine. One of the stores nearby had a sporting optic ( a compact spotting scope, which is a small telescope used for target shooting and to spy game in the field) on sale, but I figure they’ll have more as Christmas approaches. If not, fuck it, I don’t need it until next summer if at all. I already have a larger, clunkier, heavier one. Also, we just pulled out two big Hefty bags of clothes out of our closets to donate to the Big Brothers/Big Sisters thrift store.

Used my leftovers to make ham hash – recipe is good but use more thyme and more heat towards the end to get a nice crust. And more salt. And a bit less potato. Is there any recipe I can’t fuck with? And red pepper, not green ….

None of you people working? Oh right. Stinque Law is doing Bora Bora this year.

The truly horrifying thing about that video is that woman’s ass, pale and flabulent, smooging out of her pajama jeans for the whole 40 seconds whatever.

I could not look away.

@ManchuCandidate: And are Eggos really that much worse than the stuff from a waffle maker? This comes from someone who makes most everything from scratch – Eggos are pretty damn good.

Not really as most folks will use commercial batter. Then again I’m not a waffle or pancake kind of guy so I’d prefer something else for breakfast.

My mom made waffles once. Borrowed a friend’s iron. They tasted okay, but the clean up… well, we never had waffles again.


Give me a shout about Yosemite as well. I’d be up for (and qualified for) a panel on CWA Geographic Jurisdiction – Post- Rapanos Rulemaking/Guidance/Agency Practice.

Hopefully that will still be a live issue next fall.

Email is hugh404[at]

Is it safe to assume this pepper-sprayer-shopper is an adherent to Objectivism?

@JNOV will never finish this fucking sweater!:
True. We have cartons up here too, but the bags are easier to deal with. No one can easily drink out of a bag of milk unlike a carton (not that I’ve done that before.)


BTW, a few days ago I was watching Red Dawn on late night TV with a friend. We argued about where it was filmed. I said it was filmed in NM and a quick check on the intertubes I was right. Outside of the lousy movie, it was very beautiful country RML. As sad as it sounds, I think Red Dawn makes me want to see NM.

@ManchuCandidate: Dude, that was shot in Mrs RML’s hometown, Las Vegas NM. The special collector’s edition (or whatever the hail it’s called) has a bonus DVD with a mini-doc on the film’s impact on the town. Various people we knew were extras, including one guy whose jacket was altered by Mrs RML’s mom to fit better in the drive in/concentration camp shots.

The film makers would announce big effects shots in advance, so Mrs RML’s mom and dad got to see a napalm drop. I go deer and turkey hunting in the same landscape the rebels were hiding in.

Another more recent movie that has some nice New Mexico landscape is “Paul”, the one about the two guys who encounter an alien while en route to Comi-Con. Also, “True Grit” and “Thor” were shot pretty close to Santa Fe.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment