When we first met Trayvon Martin — unfortunately, too late to do anybody any good — a few details caught our attention. He wanted to be a pilot. He was good at math. He was good with mechanical things. He liked helping his quadriplegic uncle. He liked baking cookies for his cousins. He played football.

Since then, we’ve learned a few more things about Trayvon. He was suspended from school for an empty pot baggie. He had earlier been suspended for graffiti — for tagging “WTF” on a hallway locker. He was found with women’s jewelry in his backpack — “a friend gave it to me”, he said, and nothing came of it. Before then, he had been suspended for tardiness and truancy.

And we ask: So?

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The 9 Best Headlines From “Conservative Teen” Magazine [BuzzFeed]

Orlando Sentinel:

With a single punch, Trayvon Martin decked the Neighborhood Watch volunteer who eventually shot and killed the unarmed 17-year-old, then Trayvon climbed on top of George Zimmerman and slammed his head into the sidewalk several times, leaving him bloody and battered, authorities have revealed to the Orlando Sentinel.

That is the account Zimmerman gave police, and much of it has been corroborated by witnesses, authorities say.

The Sanford police report indicates that a number of witnesses were interviewed the night of the shooting, but their statements are not included. The Sentinel story does not indicate whether the reporter saw the witness statements, but suggests reliance on a police summary.

Not that there’s any reason to doubt the police summary, but the events of that night are an Adventure in Epistemology. Also, police typically withhold evidence that might prove useful in an investigation, so there’s no reason to expect full disclosure.

With that, a more detailed police summary:

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Our guest columnist is a United States Senator from Utah, and, apparently, a RINO.

Dear Friend,

President Barack Obama has presided over one of the largest government expansions in our country’s history. His administration’s annual trillion dollar spending deficits are the highest ever and have added $4 trillion to our national debt in record time. The President’s budget proposals recklessly ignore necessary reforms to the programs driving America’s out-of-control spending and all but guarantee that our economy will collapse under the weight of unsustainable debt. President Obama’s failure of leadership the past three years is unprecedented in America’s otherwise proud history.

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Why, yes, Mr. Cain, we have a question! Are you fucking nuts?

[via Political Wire]

Update: “This video has been removed as a violation of YouTube’s policy against spam, scams, and commercially deceptive content.” And bunny-whacking.

We’ve replaced the YouTube version with Politico’s version.

Update 2: YouTube version’s back up (and back here), no explanation. Our hunch: Somebody pranked Cain! by complaining about the violence.

Back when we were 13, we went to the Bi-Mart with a couple of buddies to get some model-rocket supplies. We quickly found a giant battery, and carried it around the store while we looked for other things. But we didn’t find them, so we returned the battery to its display and walked out the store.

We’re fifteen or twenty yards out the door, when we hear a stern voice behind us: “Are you going to pay for that battery?”

Store Dick. Or maybe just a manager. Whoever he was, he had been watching three kids wander around the store and leave without purchasing anything. Case closed.

We were, shall we say, Righteously Incensed: “I put it back,” we said, in the most affronted 13-year-old voice we could muster.

Store Dick didn’t believe us. But since Store Dick couldn’t strip-search us out in the parking lot, he let us go, knowing we had slipped one past him.

It’s forty years later. We’re still pissed.

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“‘Goon’ is apparently a term of endearment in the high schools these days.” —George Zimmerman’s (black) friend Joe Oliver, explaining how some people have misinterpreted what they think they hear on the 911 tape. [ThinkProgress]