The news here is not that Tennessee has passed a law allowing gun possession in bars and restaurants.  The news is that there are still twelve entire states that do not allow American Patriots to carry a gun into the local Chili’s. That’s 12 stars we’re going to have to remove from the flag.

Additionally, the new law does not go far enough in ensuring American freedom, since it still forbids drinking while carrying a gun, just like the Koran! Tennessee’s Demorat Governor, Phil Bredesen, did veto the bill. He seems to think it’s unwise to have guns and alcohol in the same establishment. but he was overridden by the gun-loving Tennessee legislature, who subsequently went home to masturbate to pictures of Charlton Heston (May He Rest in Peace!).

Tenn. lawmakers approve allowing guns in bars [Salon]

Notorious elitist President Barack Obama has gone out and shocked America again, by going for another hamburger.  Last time this happened, the media firestorm regarding Obama’s dijon mustard choice brought the country to a standstill, inciting inner city riots, a congressional invesitgation, and new frontiers in mustard marketing.    

This time, the New York Times reportage neglects to even mention what kind of mustard Obama put on his burger, because they are still in the tank for him.  However, there were cameras present to record the event, so, as with Abu Ghraib, we will eventually find out the truth.  
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Like the gay old socialist queen he is, Arlen Specter is becoming a Democrat, so he can get elected until he is 100 years old.  Looks like we don’t need to pay attention to Norm Coleman anymore Norm Coleman is now more important than he has ever been.

Double win!!

Specter to Switch Parties [NYT]

Have you guys heard of Citizen Quasar, who will free us all from the tyranny of the government with his pulsating star powers and interneptitude? In Oklahoma, the newest communist state with a theme song written by actual communists, the FBI arrested Daniel Knight Hayden earlier this month for his hilarious Twitter jokes about violent overthrow of the government and cop killing. Hayden, whose Twitter account is still up (but unfortunately not being updated) under the name CitizenQuasar, is my new favorite Twitterer, barely edging out John McCain because he is just slightly more out of touch with reality. His totally insane tweets include hits like, “START THE KILLING NOW”, “I fell down. I got up. KEEP ON TRUCK”IN!!!”, some stupid quote from Conan the Barbarian, and my favorite, “test”. Anyway, this dude’s the first twitter user to be arrested for the crime of being an idiot on the internet. More of his inspirational douchebaggery after the jump. . . Read more »

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You can file this polling data under the heading “Things that make me sad.” As ineffectual as he’s been, Governor Paterson seems to be more of a well-meaning boob than the calculating rat-faced attack bitch he may have to face, and he’s easier on the eyes (haha, blind joke!). Giuliani doesn’t even hold the appeal of being a gay-loving cross-dresser anymore, now that he has come out (haha gay pun!) against gay marriage. The only thing to do is get another calculating rat-faced attack dog back in the game for the Democrats. So, Spitzer for Governor! We want a man in Albany who only uses the numbers nine and eleven when he’s counting his whore diamonds.

For some reason, probably because it’s too liberal, the Israeli Military has condemned t-shirts such as the one in this picture. The t-shirts are worn by troops who have finished basic training or other courses, and there others in addition to the one shown, which I think is in support of pro-choice legislation, or something. Other options include a shirt depicting a child in a rifle’s cross hairs, with text about how small targets are hard targets, or shirts showing Palestinian women crying and soldiers blowing up mosques. Read more »

Hey, do you guys remember Mitch Rombley?  He was the one of the many candidates for president who was totally supposed to beat up on Old Man McCain. He was the one who had Executive Experience, because he once saved the lives of everybody at the Olympics (like Eric Bana in Munich!), and then served as a Conservative, gay rights granting, universal health care-loving Governor in the Conservative state of Massachusetts.

Mitch is totally still the choice of the 100% useless Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) straw poll.  This, of course, is the only thing that Mitch has won, for three years in a row.  To get you an idea of how in touch CPAC is with the view of the electorate:

The survey also showed that only 4 percent of conservatives at the conference approve of the job President Obama is doing, while 95 percent disapprove.

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