Hamburgergate Continues?

maille2-345x540Notorious elitist President Barack Obama has gone out and shocked America again, by going for another hamburger.  Last time this happened, the media firestorm regarding Obama’s dijon mustard choice brought the country to a standstill, inciting inner city riots, a congressional invesitgation, and new frontiers in mustard marketing.    

This time, the New York Times reportage neglects to even mention what kind of mustard Obama put on his burger, because they are still in the tank for him.  However, there were cameras present to record the event, so, as with Abu Ghraib, we will eventually find out the truth.  

However, the Times did report two important facts.  First, the Obama burger had a foreign ingredient called “jalapeno peppers” on it.  These peppers are a delicacy for illegal Mexican immigrants, and must represent the president’s support for Sonia Sotomayor, who is a Mexican, and an illegal immigrant alien (I’m standing by that statement until she produces a birth certificate).  

Second, “Mr. Obama often lunches on a salad or a healthy piece of seafood,”  because he is a slender elitist who probably doesn’t want to get a cramp during his afternoon polo match.  Anyway, thanks for joining fat America (real America!) for one day, Mr. President.

With Cameras Rolling, Obama Grabs a Burger [The New York Times]

As usual, the MSM is ignoring a blatant contradiction between the President’s hamburgers and the First Lady’s organic garden. Who will have the bravery to expose the hypocrisy of White House foodstuffs?

Barry and his fancy ass eelightist librul socialist French foreign communist bourgeoisie fascist mustards.

My question goes straight to the heart of the Obama family’s patriotism: Does Bo eat Alpo, Purina, or some other fine American dog food, or do they serve him “Science Diet,” which is probably made in France?

God forbid he should eat a salad with arugula or radicchio or the like in it. Real Americans eat iceberg lettuce and mushy tomatoes with ranch dressing, and a lot of it.

Dammit, now I want a burger.

@IanJ: Fuck the burger, I want the whole damn cow. And chock full of American made Monsanto chemicals, too.

@Nabisco: One of the unexpected side-effects of jury duty: I’m eating a ton less. I didn’t realize how much of a snack-mo-tron I was at work.


I was just wondering about you. Was it an interesting case?

Oh, I’m nowhere near done. Still have until June 15th, I think. Interesting is a word, but not one I might apply to the case. Obviously I can’t really say anything about the case itself, but I can tell you that I’d be happier not sitting on it. Full details once it’s done, I’m sure.


Oh c’mon. You call tell us.

Just type really quietly.

@Original Andrew: IanJ is a hell of a lot smarter than Al Roker.

If he cared about a balanced diet, he’d woof down a dozen raw eggs and pestork the bejesus out of Michelle in her organic vegetable patch.

@FlyingChainSaw: Yeah, but when is he gonna land a plane on an aircraft carrier with a “Mission Accomplished!” banner? C’mon I want a president I can relate to!

@drinkyclown: @FlyingChainSaw: I for one, would rather watch my President pestork Michelle in the vegetable patch then watch him land a plane on an aircraft carrier.
@IanJ: In and Out Burger….do they have those in Sea-town?

@IanJ: Funny, I always imagined jury duty to be filled with hours and hours of picking through pizza boxes and donut holes, washed down with weak coffee in styrofoam cups.

Apropos of nothing else, anyone remember the gray styrofoam cups Shatner drank out of in the original Trek? I always thought they were awesome…

@SanFranLefty: We get no In-n-Out sadly, but there is an awesome local burger chain called Dick’s , which is the source of great greasy food and a thousand easy dick jokes.

@SanFranLefty: We have an really good local, sustainable, organic fast food chain in Orygun called Burgerville. They do a lot of seasonal special, so right now it’s strawberries galore. Thank FSM the closest one is a half hour away or I’d be getting a milkshake every day.

@Nabisco: I have found exactly zero pizza boxes or donut holes. We’ve got a big plate full of all the candy you don’t really want but eat anyway, mostly hard candy. There’s some reportedly terrible coffee (among other things I don’t do, I don’t drink coffee for the simple reason that I think it tastes foul). There are many packages of microwave popcorn, but no one’s gotten that desperate yet.

What we have done is troop in and out of the jury room a lot, usually just after the defense “attorney” said something patently laughable. Of course, I’m not allowed to speculate on what might be happening when we’re sent out like that, but it doesn’t take much imagination to finish the story.

I’ve already broken out the (confusingly motorcycle-themed) playing cards, and taught everyone how to play Hosenabe (aka Pants Down), which was widely lauded as far better than sitting around uncomfortably trying not to laugh about what was happening to Mr. Defense in the next room. I like to think that I’m encouraging gambling in the county courthouse.

Was it some kind of tofu burger? Huh? I want denials and apologies RIGHT NOW. Or I will hold my breath till my face turns blue.

@Mistress Cynica: I worked at Burgerville for a couple of summers. It’s no better than any other fastfood job. I spent a few years in Forest Grove as a lad.

@homo limeyensis: Look, whatever Obama did or didn’t eat, I’m sure we can all agree that it proves he hates America.

Which reminds me, does Barry still wear the flag pin? Because you know that’s where Putin hid the microphone.

@IanJ: I am a terrible snack-mo-tron at work, too. Twizzlers, pretzels, peanut m&ms. I lost 5 pounds working in the deli last week, and when I am cooking, I constantly taste everything.

There is a mid-atlantic based burger franchise that is exploding around here called “Four (it might be Five) Brothers,” and I have probably averaged no more than 3 burgers a year for the last 20 years, but this place is sinfully, greasily good.

Here in Sandy Eggo we have a rapidly expanding chain called Burger Lounge. They do stuff from scratch, use local organic where possible, and the meat is grass-fed free-rangey. Can’t vouch for the real stuff, but their veggie burgers are teh awesome. And the fries and onion rings are things of beauty.

@Promnight: And that is exactly where our president went for lunch today.

I’d kill for a nice, greasy American burger right about now. I can’t even go into it too much, or I’ll start literally drooling.

@RomeGirl: Your day trip post had me salivating, so maybe we’re even.

I like In-and-Out on occasion but they tend to be greasy and I don’t like the Jesus messages on the cups and wrappers, so I haven’t eaten there in 5 years. Kind of like why I refuse to fly Alaska Airlines, with their Christian prosletyzing on the napkins.

Here in EssEff we have BurgerMeister, a local place with outlets in the Castro across the street from the Safeway and another one in Cole Valley around the corner from Cole Hardware. All organic ingredients and 100% hand-ground beef from Niman Ranch. They smell so awesome but I have managed to resist trying, because I’m afraid that once I have one of their burgers I’ll want more, which is a problem since I go by one outlet twice a day on my commute.

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