Guess who wins?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLXJ_7I7uXI

I would bear that woman’s children ….

Georgia congresscritter Paul Broun, delivering the invocation Monday at the Cobb GOP Independence Day Celebration & Bar-B-Q: “Father, there are many who want to destroy us from outside this nation. Folks like al-Qaeda and the radical Islamists. But there are folks that want to destroy us from inside, the progressives and the socialists, who want to make this nation a nation that’s no longer under you, under God, but a nation that’s ruled by man.” [Marietta Daily Journal, via Political Correction]

“Casey Anthony was found not guilty Tuesday of murdering her daughter, 2-year-old Caylee Anthony, after a trial that riveted the nation with its twists and turns.” [MSNBC]

“The [reorganization] move, which shakes the campaign of the tea party favorite into turmoil in a state where he’s staking much of his 2012 hopes, comes after weeks of swirling rumors between Cain’s staff and volunteers in the Hawkeye State accusing each other of affairs, homosexuality and professional misconduct.” [Politico, via Political Wire]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYzvCpMGSrY

WaPo wunderwonk Ezra Klein, whose youthful taste for the chillingly nerdish DC social life we’ve noted previously in this esteemed journal of American sociopathy, is back with another installment of You’ve Got to Be Fucking Kidding Me:

I have a friend who hosts a Fourth of July brunch most years in which the food is preceded by a roundtable reading of the Declaration of Independence. I like that tradition.

Sometime in the distant future, should you find it your turn to recite some crap about the King’s repeated injuries and usurpations, and wondering what sin you committed to anger your vengeful god into such inhuman punishment, we suggest you keep the above video handy on your personal computing device to remind yourself that the sole purpose of the Fourth of July is to get shitfaced drunk, make an ass of yourself, and blow the crap out of purpose-built objects.

[Video via Sully]

As is widely known, on average between four to five percent of men are likely to be homosexual. So far we have elected 42 Americans and one Kenyan. By my reckoning, since many were Republicans, that means we’ve had at least sixteen of my people in the White House. Some of our more distinguished men who love men include:

George Washington.

Well, I mean, look at him.

Had way too much fun up at Lake Ticonderoga as a twenty-something soldier. Fun which was repeated when, as leader of the continental army, he sat outside Boston for the better part of a year so he could hit the bars. War won (thank you, France), like any self-respecting gay pol he found an heiress to finance his public life and settled down.

Biggest achievement: White breeches.

Biggest disappointment: Failure to convince Congress that what the newly minted country most needed, apart from a strong centralized government, was hereditary knighthoods.

Best line: “Some things are better without teeth.”

Read more »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7kcqB3thJM

Transformers 3, directed by Michael Bay, cost $195 million. (Or twice that, depending on which rumor you read.) It would have cost more, if they hadn’t economized by lifting footage from 2005’s The Island. Directed by, um, Michael Bay.