Ben Quayle, son of the former vice president and Champion Speler, would like to be Your Next Congresscritter from Arizona’s Third:

As a part of his campaign strategy, Quayle has started to send out mailers emblazened with his slogan, “A New Generation.” In one of these mailers, Quayle poses with two young girls — one seated in his lap and another holding his hand. Below the picture of Quayle and the children is a quotation by the candidate: “My roots in Arizona run deep. My grandparents and great grandparents lived in this district. My parents and all of my siblings live in this district. Tiffany [his wife] and I live in this district and are going to raise our family here.”

Aren’t the girls cute? Oh, by the way, they aren’t his. Ben and the Missus are childless.

In campaign mailer, Ben Quayle discusses raising a ‘family’ by posing with girls who aren’t his [Think Progress]

We’re starting to think that Sarah Palin’s bendy straws are a metaphor for our polity:

Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes is warning voters that Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper’s policies, particularly his efforts to boost bike riding, are “converting Denver into a United Nations community.”

“This is all very well-disguised, but it will be exposed,” Maes told about 50 supporters who showed up at a campaign rally last week in Centennial.

Maes said in a later interview that he once thought the mayor’s efforts to promote cycling and other environmental initiatives were harmless and well-meaning. Now he realizes “that’s exactly the attitude they want you to have.”

The issue at hand appears to be a Commie bike-sharing program that undermines our values. Once you’ve established From each rider according to his ability, to each rider according to his need, the Republic is lost.

Bike agenda spins cities toward U.N. control, Maes warns [Denver Post]

“Astroboffins are warning that a mighty ‘eruption’ of superhot plasma has been blasted out of the Sun directly at the Earth. The plasma cloud is expected to reach Earth beginning [Wednesday], possibly causing strange phenomena…”

To: Utah Freak Senatorial Candidate dba Nojo
From: Stinque Office of Quality Control
Re: Proposed Wednesday-morning post

Dear Sir, Madam, or Hamster,

We have received your draft, “Ten Unusual Things Caused by Sunspots,” and are returning it because it does not meet our editorial standards.

Read more »

A friend turned me on to this website – tells you whether the food you have sitting around is good or bad. Very comprehensive. [stilltasty.com]

He’s back:

The Good News: Warner Bros. is pumping out three new Road Runner cartoons!

We still don’t know whether the new Looney Tunes Show for Cartoon Network will meet our lofty expectations, but I was invited to a screening this past week to preview the three new CGI Road Runner-Coyote shorts for theatrical release — and my verdict is in: They’re terrific!

The Uncertain News: Ummm, CGI? We learned our deadpan timing on Road Runner, and a big part of the charm of the classic Chuck Jones shorts is their distinctive drawing style. We’ll withhold kneejerk judgment, however, while you taste a clip of the new stuff at the link below.

Looney Tunes exclusive clip: Coyote Falls [Cartoon Brew, via Daring Fireball]

The Official Papal Visit Store is now online for your last-minute sacramental shopping:

Pope baseball caps, pope key-rings, pope tote bags, beatification T-shirts and more went on sale Tuesday, as the official online store for Benedict XVI’s visit to England and Scotland opened.

Papalvisitstore.com stocks about three dozen items, including customizable T-shirts (20 British pounds, or about $32) and the official souvenir program (10 pounds, or about $16).

Shown here is the “Icon two fold Bespoke with Pope Benedict XVI’s prayer and image. Gilded event logo on the front,” classified under “Religious Artifacts”. Yours for only seven quid! (Version without Benedict frightening the bejesus out of you: eight quid.)

Pope shop opens ahead of Benedict’s British visit [CNN, via PourMeCoffee]