Tiger needs damage control, so why not hire the best liar in the business?

Tiger Woods has hired Ari Fleischer, the former Press Secretary to President George W. Bush, to help shape his image as he returns to professional golf, according to the New York Post . Fleischer runs a company called Ari Fleischer Sports Communications that bills itself as able to “help you handle the bad news and take advantage of the good.”

Tiger Woods Hires Former Bush Aide Ari Fleischer [CBS]

Title: “Courage and Consequence: My Life as a Conservative in the Fight”

Author: Karl Rove

Rank: 6

Blurb: “Courage and Consequence is ultimately about the joy of a life committed to the conservative cause, a life spent in political combat and service to country, no matter the costs.”

Review: “I must admit, I fell hook, line and sinker for the media’s version of Karl Rove as an evil man. Reading the book, he comes across as an intelligent, thoughtful and heartfelt person.”

Customers Also Bought: “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the U.S. Constitution,” by Timothy Harper

Footnote: “Just get me a fucking faith-based thing. Got it?”

Courage and Consequence [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

National Geographic bills its “Sizing Up Sperm” special as “the story of human conception as it has never been told before,” using “real people to represent 250 million sperm on their marathon quest to be first to reach a single egg.”

National Geographic’s dramatization of a Giant Tit rampaging the forest was unavailable for preview.

Sizing Up Sperm [NatGeo, via Sully/Laughing Squid]

I suppose someone, somewhere, is using this as a daily driver:

Sad.

And I left my lightsaber at home… [Hemmings Auto Blogs]

But don’t get your hopes up:

A hospital official says former U.S. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger is recovering after being hospitalized in the South Korean capital with stomach pains.

And there is no doubt this man is a war criminal.

This may not be the Big One, but Tom Lehrer has had the epitaph ready for years: “Irony died the day they gave Kissinger the Peace Prize.”

Ex-US Secretary of State Kissinger hospitalized [AP/SFGate, via SFL]

Eyes up, gentlemen:

A Manhattan woman whose picture was used as a sexual aid in the hit movie “Couples Retreat” has filed a $10 million lawsuit over her inspiring — and unwitting — appearance in the Vince Vaughn flick.

Irina Krupnik “only learned of defendants’ lascivious use of her photo in the film” after it was released in theaters — and was horrified to discover it was being used as a “masturbatory prop” for a character played by Jon Favreau, the makeup artist says in papers filed in Manhattan Supreme Court.

Remember, “Couples Retreat” is a work of fiction. Nobody would ever use Ms. Krupnik’s image as whacking material in real life.

Woman sues over unwitting appearance in ‘Couples Retreat’ [NY Post, via Above the Law]

A legend drives a near 30-year-old rallye car – if only I could drive like that.

Yes – I’m a gearhead – I admit it.