Today, We Are All Fat Fucks

The End of The World As We Know It.

The Management must again apologize for mentioning Sport and Rush Limbaugh before breakfast, especially since we thought it was safe to ignore both once Limbaugh’s team-buying partners threw him over the gondola.

But alas, the story does not end there. No, friends, the real story is just beginning, a story that can only end with the fall of the Republic and the triumph of cannibal anarchy:

Dittoheads are boycotting the NFL.

How could it come to this? How could the last thread holding our precious union together be unraveled? We begin, as we must, with Rush himself, speaking truth to the power he could not buy:

They [Democrats] have to have a villain to advance everything, because they cannot sell their ideas. They had to demonize me with false, fake, made up quotes. To protect their precious little — National Football League as an outpost of racism and liberalism, which is what it is.

Since the verifiable quotes are just as demonizing — and our home team is a major-league GOP contributor — we’re not sure what Rush’s issue is. But this isn’t about us.

It’s about tsquare at RedState, who declared that “Tonight… We Are All Rush Limbaugh.” We who dream of “success and happiness,” only to be thwarted by “those on the left, inside and outside of this nation [who] abhor success.”

It’s about Teflon at MoltenThought, who has canceled his DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket package — including the Supercast — because NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, who disparaged Rush’s “divisive comments,” “wants to bend over for Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and the other bigots and race-baiters among the sportswriter community by shafting Rush Limbaugh.”

It’s about the Punt the NFL Facebook group, launched Thursday to coordinate the “1st ever NFL fan strike” in support of “the world’s most influential NFL fan,” and already boasting dozens of members.

Sneer not at the mighty two-row purchasing power of the Dittoheads. Mark our words, by Thanksgiving even the burliest linemen will be munching tossed salads for lunch like the Republican kings of yore.

Limbaugh whines that NFL is an outpost of ‘racism and liberalism.’ [Think Progress]

Oh, puhleeease! What are they going to do instead of watching football? Read Pride & Prejudice? Ha, ha, ha, ha!

That’s like asking a redneck to boycott Wal-Mart, or Rush Limbaugh to boycott prescription painkillers.


Oh wait.

Sport and Limbaugh. My day is complete.

We who dream of “success and happiness,”
*and libruls/furriners don’t?

only to be thwarted by “those on the left, inside and outside of this nation [who] abhor success.”
*Um yeah. Cause being a deluded self entitled talentless fat undereducated lazy ignoramus whose poor grasp of reality has nothing to do with it.

Yes, Limpballs in his own bloated mind thinks he is more important than anything else in the world and his empty headed followers walk off into fantasyland with him. Just wondering, when do you think Rush will come out of the closet?

@ckerst: Please, no, please!!! Gay Rush. Do NOT want.

@ManchuCandidate: Word.

Please would they just boycott breathing?

If the exorbitant ticket prices, $60-$75 parking fees, crappy $13.00 hamburgers, $5 water, bad sound, can’t keep the mostly conservative fans in the DFW area from going to see the awful Cowboys at Jerry’sWorld, maybe Rush Limbaugh can.

This is directly relevant and on point. I have decided to try to distract myself from my severe case of teenager-style angst by carefully planning a sybaritic and self-indulgent evening. Yes, excess IS rebellion.

When I get home, I am going to bed. I am going straight to bed, and I am going to spend the whole evening in bed, sipping cocktails and munching on hors de ouevres. I hate settling on just one food to make my meal, my ADD and OCD will have me bored and filled with regret and anger at choosing wrongly, no matter what I choose, no, I must have an array of delicacies, prepared in the form of little morsels, so that my every gustatory whim may be gratified immediately. I intend to ensure that the most troublesome thought I have this evening, the most worrisome task I will have to deal with, will be deciding which delicate morsel to eat next, what strategy to have in place for contrasting and complementing the flavors, precisely where to place the sipping of the coctails between nibbles, and just when in the course of the evening, if ever, to switch from martinis to wine. And all through this decadent evening, I will play Christopher Walken movies, it really doesn’t matter which, because he fascinates and amuses me in everything.

Its times like these, I wish I had a hot tub.

Thats what I am going to do today, I am going to “pre-live” the evening I intend to spend.

This leftist wishes them success beyond their wildest dreams in this particular endeavor.

@Prommie: An excellent plan. I have an oversized Jacuzzi in the bathroom and I’ve used it for something close to what you describe; if only I could find a way to bring the fireplace and flat-screen in there I’d be set for the night.


Suicide Kings, dude. LOVE that movie. Plus you get to look at lovely, lovely Jeremy Sisto. Not that that is a selling point for you.

@Prommie: I once spent Sunday in bed and served roast duck with all the trimmings. I don’t think anyone needs to the know the circumstances behind that particular special day.

In what movie is Walken in the highest percentage of scenes, being the most Walken-ish?

I hear Obama is up for the Heisman Trophy if he watches enough football this weekend.


Suicide Kings, I’m telling you. He’s in almost every shot.

TJ/Cross posting this from Sadly, No. A Wingnut MMOG and Masturbation Aid.

You. Must. Love. This.


I seriously can’t see anything about Rush without thinking of this clip (warning: audio seriously NSFW).

Only now, the maggot at the end grabs a sign and heads off to a Glenn Beck rally.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: I love it Madly. Obama, he will win the World Series MVP, this is my prediction.

@texrednface: Last professional sporting event I paid for was in 1991 – $15 for third base line tickets. Perfect day. Now, I have to wait until someone’s brother-in-law’s dental/law/consulting practice puts tickets into orbit of a friend to consider going.

What would you call Fuckbaugh’s mental disorder? Auto-messianism? Paranoid megalomanianism?

@FlyingChainSaw: Both are acceptable euphemisms for pathological narcissism.

@Prommie: Well, be sure to take a picture of yourself in a tank top holding a book and post it here.

As usual, no one’s thinking of the wretched business brokers who’ve got to hammer out this deal.

They’ll be crying into their cash-stuffed pillows for weeks. For shame!

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Oh, God, I love Jeremy Sisto, and he reminds me of this dude I know (same voice, eyes, teeth). I’m rewatching Six Feet Under right now, but I’m tired of Law and Order.


Ah, yes, so lovely he is. He also has what HF would call “Cocksucking Lips”…

@Prommie: For some reason a T.C. Boyle story comes to mind but, no, not “Sorry Fugu”.

I’m nursing the first sandpaper tickle of a cold. Hot tea waiting to become a hot rum with tea. I say fuck Rush and the dootieheads….whoa, a baseball announcer on TBS just declared that he farted while on camera. I may sound like Beavis here, but that was awesome.

ADD: it was Dennis Eckersley. I knew he looked familiar, but damn it’s been awhile since I watched baseball.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: CockClitsucking lips…


The first thing I remember him in was White Squall, and I was like, “Who is that?” Then he showed up in some really, really bad movie with Jeff Goldblum (a childhood crush). Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm.

It’s funny that you brought him up. Last night I spoke with my friend he resembles and confessed my preoccupation with both of them. I like coincidences. I’m not even going to dis Jeremy for naming his daughter Charlie Ballerina. Nope.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Don’t know Emmma. I’m feeling pretty clueless right now. Huddle in the sandbox?


Absolutley you would LOOOOOOVVVVEEEE Clueless. It has some of the best dialogue from the 90s.

Amber: “Coach, my plastic surgeon says that I can’t participate in any activities where balls fly at my face.”

Dionne: “There goes your social life…”

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: @JNOV: @Original Andrew:

i LOVE clueless!

(she’s carrying ski’s and tennis rackets out of the house for a homeless drive at school)

dad says, do you think that’s what these folks need right now?
“daa-ad!!, these people lost everything!!! don’t you think that includes sports equipment???

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