Suggested Super Bowl halftime set list:

• Put The Money Down
• I Like Nightmares
• We’re Not Gonna Take It
• Much Too Much

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Title: “Last Words: A Memoir”

Author: George Carlin, with Tony Hendra

Rank: 57

Blurb: “In 1993 George Carlin asked his friend and bestselling author [and founding National Lampoon editor] Tony Hendra to help him write his autobiography. For almost fifteen years, in scores of conversations, many of them recorded, the two discussed Carlin’s life, times, and evolution as a major artist. When Carlin died at age seventy-one in June 2008 with the book still unpublished, Hendra set out to assemble it as his friend would have wanted.”

Review: “Okay, so I AM biased. BUT! I even learned things about my dad that I didn’t know.” (Kelly Carlin)

Customers Also Bought: “Going Rogue: An American Life,” by Sarah Palin

Footnote: If George Carlin can make it into the Amazon Top 100, there’s hope.

Last Words [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

Like their heroine, they don’t know much about it:

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In wondering what would compel someone as famously nice as Tiger Woods to total his ride in the driveway in the dead of night, we turn to Wayne Brady for an explanation.

Tiger Woods hurt in car accident in front of his Florida home [LAT]

Author and radio host Amy Goodman (no, we don’t know her, either) was driving to Canada on Wednesday to promote her book in Vancouver and Victoria. At the B.C. border crossing, she was asked to get out of her car. Ninety minutes later, car, notes and computer thoroughly searched, she was allowed to resume her journey — provided she got the hell out of Canada within 48 hours.

Good lord, what does it take to get Canadians pissed at you?

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While some of us were admiring Michelle Obama’s dress Tuesday night at the State Dinner, and others were trying to raise a — how you say — stink about Republicans who weren’t invited (but who really were and just skipped the event), Sacha Baron Cohen a truly uninvited couple snuck past the guards:

The Secret Service is investigating how a fame-seeking couple crashed President Obama’s first state dinner Tuesday night, gliding in past security with no invitation and taking photos with Vice President Biden and others.

Michaele and Tareq Salahi [shown above], who are trying to get on the Bravo reality show “Real Housewives of Washington,” were not on the guest list to the official event, but somehow made it past a gauntlet of security checkpoints.

All’s well that ends well — no harm, no foul — but the Secret Service is sending some highly stained underwear to the cleaners:

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Just another day at Fox:

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