Title: “A Time for Truth: Reigniting the Promise of America”

Author: Rafael Edward Cruz, billed as “Ted”

Rank: 36

Complete Blurb, Managing Not to Say Anything Specific, Especially About Canada:

Liberals love to hate Ted Cruz. The outspoken Texas Senator has a knack for getting under their skin. His quotable remarks — and even more, his principled stands on numerous national issues — have made him a political lightning rod and the most googled man in Washington.

Read more »

Title: “I Am a Bunny”

Authors: Ole Risom and Richard Scarry

Rank: 94

Blurb: “In the spring, he picks flowers, and in the summer, watches the frogs in the pond. In the fall, he sees the animals getting ready for winter. And when winter comes, he watches the snow falling from the sky… then curls up in his hollow tree to dream about Spring.”

Review: “The reader sees an adorable little bunny dressed in red overalls, leaping into the air, trying to catch one of the two-dozen beautifully rendered butterflies.”

Customers Also Bought: “The Berenstain Bears Learn About Strangers”

Footnote: It was the Strangers who taught Bunny that red overalls were kinda gay, and chasing butterflies was for sissies. Only years later, when the Wise Owls declared that the Strangers could go fuck themselves, did Bunny realize an important truth: Elaborate metaphors go off the rails really, really fast.

I Am a Bunny [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed.”

SCOTUS

And yes, I saw The Avengers first run:

Don’t worry, everything’s cool — we strongly doubt they would have posted it without a happy ending.

[via Kottke]

Title: “Hitler’s Last Days: The Death of the Nazi Regime and the World’s Most Notorious Dictator”

Author: Bill O’Reilly

Rank: 83

Blurb: “Facing defeat, Adolf Hitler flees to a secret bunker with his new wife, Eva Braun, and his beloved dog, Blondi.”

Wait. What. Blondi? “Adapted from Bill O’Reilly’s historical thriller Killing Patton, this book will have young readers — and grown-ups too — hooked on history.”

Review: “The title is a little misleading as this book covers General Patton more than it does Hitler.”

Bonus Batshit Review: “If as I suspect O’Reilly is telling us that Hitler and Eva Braun died in a bunker, then this is just propaganda. Bill O’Reilly is nothing more than a disinformation specialist. Many new books have come out in the last five years proving that Hitler and Braun made it to Argentina in a submarine. There are written documents and photographs. He lived his life out there in South America. The US GOVT knew all about it and could not do anything. The Nazis brought great wealth with them and Argentina welcomed them. This book should be discontinued. Go read the real histories you will find here at Amazon Books.”

Customers Also Bought: “The O’Reilly Factor for Kids”

Footnote: Learning that Hitler had a beloved dog certainly helps humanize the guy.

Hitler’s Last Days [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]