Nancy Pelosi, who once told House Demrats to steer clear of Stephen Colbert’s mock interviews, steps up her game and declares war against the Colbert Nation.

Stop Colbert [Facebook, via Political Wire]

Out guest columnists are independent film producers who know that you can’t keep a good villain down.

Osombie is an independently-produced, feature-length zombie film, packed with violence, mayhem, guns, blood and discussions about Pokemon. Oh, and zombies. Lots of zombies. 

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Our guest columnist is Steve Holland, Democrat representative for the Great State of Missississississippi.

HOUSE BILL NO. 150

AN ACT TO PROVIDE THAT FOR ALL OFFICIAL PURPOSES WITHIN THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI, THE BODY OF WATER LOCATED DIRECTLY SOUTH OF HANCOCK, HARRISON AND JACKSON COUNTIES SHALL BE KNOWN AS THE “GULF OF AMERICA”; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI:

SECTION 1. For all official purposes within the State of Mississippi, the body of water that is located directly south of Hancock, Harrison and Jackson Counties shall be known as the “Gulf of America.”

SECTION 2. This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2012.

HB 150 [Mississippi Legislature]

Mississippi Legislator Proposes Renaming Gulf Of Mexico As ‘Gulf Of America’ [ThinkProgress]

“Any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.” —Democrat state senator Constance Johnson’s proposed satirical amendment to Oklahoma “Personhood” bill. [Jezebel, via Political Wire]

‘World’s last’ WWI veteran Florence Green dies aged 110 [BBC]

So , in case you haven’t heard already, Rick Santorum ran away with three primary contests last night. I’ve been struggling hard to think of an analogy that might help illustrate what this means for the GOP going forward, and do so in a way that is easy for people without political science degrees to understand*. Finally after hours of struggling with it, I think I’ve come up with a good one:

Imagine the GOP is a sailor adrift at sea, holding a cup full of warm piss. The sea represents mainstream political opinion, the cup represents the GOP nomination race and the warm piss represents Mitt Romney. GOP voters can’t drink the salty seawater because… well, they’re crazy Teabaggers and they’ll die of dehydration if they try to drink mainstream seawater. Less toxic to them, is the warm piss. They can drink it, of course, and it will keep them alive, and they were pretty much resigned to it for while there, but that doesn’t mean they have to like it. Then came along Newt Gingrich. Gingrich is like an ugly, gnarled, twisted spoon that’s been caught in the disposal a few times, but somehow managed to stay in the silverware drawer nonetheless. Well, Gingrich drops into the race (the cup) and really starts stirring things up, getting the Teabaggers all hot and bothered. But then after Florida, he’s pretty much out. The spoon is tossed into the sink (and will probably fall into the disposall one more time). And then, just as Teabaggers were lifting the cup to their lips, something that no one expected happens. Absent a gnarled spoon to stirr it, the piss begins to settle and a frothy foam rises to the top. That would be Rick Santorum. He’s the foam.

So the question is this: will Rick Santorum run away with this thing? Will GOP voters lick the frothy foam off the top of the cup and pour the piss into the moderate ocean where they think it (Romney) belongs? Or will they come to their senses and realize that the head of a cup of warm piss that is Rick Santorum stands about as much chance of beating Barack Obama in November as a literal head of foam off a cup of warm piss.

Stay tuned!

*Full disclosure: I do not have a poly sci degree either.

So we’re chatting with the Male Parental Unit last night — well, listening, you know how that goes — and after the monologue drifts from the Ducks to Madonna to the Ducks, he mentions that he found a hundred-dollar savings bond in a drawer last year, and promptly cashed it.

Following which he received a Form 1099 for the taxes on it.

“Everybody pays taxes but the rich,” we tell him.

And he replies—

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