Our guest columnist failed grade-school reading comprehension.

Date: December 9, 2012 10:36 PM
To: god@www.stinque.com
Subject: Inquiry Regarding A Resource For Students

Hi there,

I happened upon your collection of college and career web resources for prospective students here https://www.stinque.com/2012/03/22/boy-in-the-hoodie and thought you might be interested in another authoritative online resource to add to those.

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Monkey caught after running loose in Toronto Ikea store . Not known how monkey, clad in shearling coat, got in #ikea

— CBC News Alerts (@CBCAlerts) December 9, 2012

First Bad Santa, now this. But hey, it’s an easy way to start the week for Stephen Colbert’s writers.

“I ran for president. I lost.” —Mitt Romney, auditioning for his American Express commercial. [CBS]

Title: “How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You”

Author: The Oatmeal (Matthew Inman)

Rank: 19

Blurb: “If your cat is kneading you, that’s not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness.”

Review: “The paper edition seems to work natively without any apps.”

Customers Also Bought: “Crafting with Cat Hair: Cute Handicrafts to Make with Your Cat”

Footnote: Wait, wait — Crafting with Cat Hair?

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“Oh, you’re wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs tuque. You shouldn’t be wearing that, they suck.” —Toronto shopping-mall Santa, now unemployed, to three-year-old child. [Toronto Sun]

The official Seattle Police blog prepares citizens for legalized pot today: “Please remember it’s still not legal to drive stoned, use marijuana in a public place or anywhere else smoking a cigarette is prohibited… The Dude abides, and says ‘take it inside!’” [via @JC_Christian]

 

Although a surfeit of numbers are being bandied, a pertinent one is missing — the number of legislators who have pledged to Norquist not to raise taxes. The number is: Zero. All pledges have been to voters.

–George Will

There are lies that are petty. There are lies that are outrageous. But some lies are just perplexing. Conservative commentator George Will’s laughable claim that Republican legislators who signed Grover Norquist’s pledge not to raise taxes, were not actually signing a pledge to Norquist not to raise taxes, falls into the latter category. Who is the audience for this disingenuous nugget of sophistical nonsense?  Surely Will cannot expect that there’s a single progressive reading his column who’ll buy the silly claim. Surely he doesn’t expect to convince recalcitrant Republican Senators and Congressmen who are publicly repudiating the pledge they made to Norquist, and insisting that it is to the voters in their district to whom they owe their allegiance. The Zombie army of Teabaggers? They need no convincing, whether the pledge was signed to Norquist, the voters, or the Dali Lama, it’s all the same to them. So one can only conclude that, stunned by the results of the last election that saw voters rejecting even a “moderate” GOP candidate by a significant margin, our addle-brained, shell-shocked protagonist is simply lying to himself these days.