2004 wasn’t all bad.  I mean, it was the year that Wonkette was unleashed on the world.  And the Illinois GOP’s attempt to put Alan Keyes up against Barack Obama was pure comedy. 

Other than that, though?  The one presidential candidate that was at all interesting was aced because he screamed.  And thus we were left with John Kerry, who decided to re-run the Gore 2000 campaign — bland and uninspired on the whole.  The Bush campaign and allies pounced — “flip-flop!”  chants, Purple Heart band-aids, the Swift Boat ads, the ads with wolves and other scary things, and — of course — “you forgot Poland.”

There was always a chance for Kerry, though.  Abu Ghraib was on everybody’s lips in the late spring.  The insurgency in Iraq expanded, and continued to expose the lack of planning that was now the Bush administration’s hallmark.  And, of course, John Kerry had a plan.

And yet, so did Karl Rove and his allies.  You could say that Kerry was doomed from the start, in that he was attempting to win by boring Republicans to death.  But this, in retrospect, might have been the high water mark of the religious right, as “values voters,” particularly in Ohio, horrified (for no good reason) about the imposition of (jarring chord) SAN FRANCISCO VALUES, sealed the win — which gave the President political capital that he intended to spend. 

Ah, but as we shall see, pride goes before a fall.  In our next installment: Bush administration fall down go boom.

Maybe I can pay off my student loans after all:

A US student has put her virginity up for auction in order to pay for a masters degree.

Bidding for a one-night stand with 22-year-old Natalie Dylan has reached £2.5 million ($3.7 million), rising from offers of £162,000 ($243,000) made when the auction first appeared last September.

Dylan, from San Diego, has a a degree in Women’s Studies and is in the middle of a Family and Marriage therapy masters. She disclosed that her sister Ava convinced her to go through with the auction because she paid for her own degree by working as a prostitute for three weeks.

And yes, I would, in fact, hit it.  I just wouldn’t pay for it.

Student’s Virginity Auction Hits $3.7 Million [China Daily]

Oops, we’re sorry. Wrong satellite feed.

Joe’s DTV Education Corner [VelocityStore.com]

George W. Bush is still nominally the President for a few more days, and he is going to use his Presidential Powers to Mission Accomplish Barack Obama through a successful inauguration. The inauguration is happening, as it usually does, in Washington D.C..   Because Washington D.C. is full of poor black liberals and rich white gay liberals (just like New Orleans!), because it will be even fuller of poor and rich, black and white gay liberals during the inauguration, and because the inauguration means that George Bush will no longer be able to Accomplish Missions (except in regards to successfully filling his Presidential Library with 10000 copies of My Pet Goat), Bush is declaring a State of Emergency during the U.S. inauguration. Or it’s because he’s just helping out the city with some money. Either way, let the fun times begin!
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Most of the shit that pisses me off has to do with politics.  But don’t think for a minute that some nonpolitical happenings don’t drive me batshit.  So I give you six random things that are pissing me off, and ask you to add your own nonpolitical psychotic hatreds in the comments.

1. Angelina Jolie’s uterus – it seems as though Brangelina might be pregnant again – her seventh child (3 are adopted), and her fourth with Brad Pitt.  That total does not include the sixty or so third-world children they will likely adopt in the next eighteen months.  Enough already.  You are annoying people, and your children are likely to spend most of their time on this earth in rehab.  Stop reproducing.

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Two years of mismanagement did not convince the nation of what the world already knew.  And thus Bush had a free hand to do whatever he wanted.  And he did. 

A partial-birth abortion bill passed.  So did a prescription drug coverage bill.  The tax cut theology was followed in the three preceding years, but with this new entitlement, the die was irrevocably cast in favor of back-breaking deficits for the duration.  And this was the year of the worst Sixteen Words since “behind the bag, it gets through Buckner; here comes Knight and the Mets win it!”  If only it were mere words that offended.

A personal story, and rumblings of a growing hope, may be found after the jump.

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Really, we’re not making a point of dwelling on the gals, but their alarming! emails keep landing in our in-box, and we just can’t help ourselves.

Today’s installment involves David Letterman, who apparently said something very naughty recently. Truth be told, we haven’t paid much attention to Dave since he moved to CBS — no local newscasts across the hall to invade, no chicks in the next building to flirt with. But what he said was so shocking! it made the CBS eye cry, as Team Sarah explains:
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