Stupid Team Sarah Tricks

Know Your Current Events.Really, we’re not making a point of dwelling on the gals, but their alarming! emails keep landing in our in-box, and we just can’t help ourselves.

Today’s installment involves David Letterman, who apparently said something very naughty recently. Truth be told, we haven’t paid much attention to Dave since he moved to CBS — no local newscasts across the hall to invade, no chicks in the next building to flirt with. But what he said was so shocking! it made the CBS eye cry, as Team Sarah explains:

This violates CBS’s own “Program Practices” specifically states that: “The Program Practices editors review material for excessive or gratuitous violence, sexuality, nudity and inappropriate language. They ensure that character portrayals are sensitive to current ethnic, religious, sexual and other significant social concerns.”

Heavens, what did Dave do? And did it float? Whatever it was, Team Sarah issued a call to action to its 60,000 acolytes:

Over 500 Team Sarah members protested to the FCC about Letterman’s unsavory comment about Gov. Palin. They are hearing from the FCC that it is launching an investigation!

And you thought it was the Demrats who wanted to bring back the Fairness Doctrine. But we’re happy to know the FCC is on the case, since next month’s Digital TV boondoggle can’t possibly be taking up all their staff time.

So what did Dave say about Talibunny that is so rancid it would melt a glacier? Reader Discretion Advised:

“Essentially out of nowhere, here she is, can’t name a newspaper, wants to be vice president, the first vice-presidential candidate that I found myself being aroused about.”

What, you were expecting Lenny Bruce?

Team Sarah complains to FCC about Letterman’s Palin joke [Alaska Dispatch]

Sarah Supporters: Take Down Letterman [Draft Palin 2012]


But I thought that was her only appeal.

It’s certainly not her intelligence (snort), her hypocritical religious views, her personality, her ethics, her policy stands or her family of grifters/morans/druggies/five holes.

I guess Team Sarah hasn’t had a chance to read yet.

this proves my newly aquired theory about men in general, even dave.
they’ll fuck ANYTHING.

@baked: In Dave’s case, he’ll make a joke about fucking anything.

Plus he made that joke in October or something. Before TeamSarah existed. Them girls put PUMAs totally to shame with teh crazee.

FlyingChainSaw: Is there any desire to throw them a line about us, just to see what kind of obvious and lame crack-back they could make? I can see it now: “Stinque Smells.”

Nah. More trouble than it’s worth.

@baked: I will refer again to the comedian I recently heard reply to a woman who was expressing horror at the idea that there are men who bang blow-up dolls. She asked “how could anyone do something so gross?” His answer was “Well, I doubt it was Plan A.”

Being a HotChick yourself, you probably thought the dudes all just wanted to bang hotchicks. This is partly true, they do all want to bang hotchicks, but that does not mean that hotchicks are all they want to bang. But what you obviously did not know, and have just realized, is that the hotchick plan is just “Plan A.” There are always alternate plans which extend to depths you do not want to know about. In dire circumstances, its “any port in a storm.”

@chicago bureau: I was planning on doing that at but they threw me off after my first post about the immaculate conception of her grandchild, Shotput, or whatever the fuck they branded him and her claim to being God’s Grandma. Then work intruded. I link to Stinque at the Anchorage Daily News but I dunno if enough Talibunnoids hang out there to reach a critical mass of interest about the Stinque’s heresies.


Hi, Baked! Even from here I can see you look far too young to be a grandmother.

OMFG!!! People. There is a fab new sex scandal developing hard in NYC. Now it’s not the perfect sex scandal because it doesn’t involve Republicans and/or children but what it lacks in classical structure it more than makes up for with its racist/anti-semitic/sport (yes SPORT!! WOO-HOO) angles.

The sport involved is the one with tall black men wearing culottes and the big round ball. Not the pointy ball and spandex one. At least, I think that’s what it is. But for your reading pleasure I point you HERE!!11 USA! USA!

Married men and cum-soaked towels, people!!!!

point taken. but a 50 year old man cheating NOT using condoms?
which port would that be?
it’s monday morning and i’m sober, but take what you will from this comment…there were dire consequences he visited upon me. we’ll talk……….i propose STD’s as our topic for after dark this week. if i haven’t been incarcerated charged with homicide by friday.

Ghey sex scandal developing hard! There are links.

@FlyingChainSaw: I wouldn’t poke that hornets nest. Toying with Pumas is amusing because they are so few. But these Sarahtards, they are legion, and full on fundie crazeeee. This is her full-time permanent floating lynch mob, remember, they had started to physically attack members of the press at her Klan Rallies. And they hate hate hate teh gays, too. This is no kidding a dangerous group of tards.

@Benedick: And metaphor! What won’t they think of next?

Kuchinsky further claims in his suit that Curry pointed a “fully loaded” gun at him on at least two separate occasions to keep him from complaining about his treatment.

“Look, I have one in the chamber,” Curry allegedly said.

i can’t click your link!

but loved your comment. you always slay me. i adore you!

@baked: Benedick can’t create a working link to save his life, but we love him anyway, right?

@mellbell: Thank you, thank you! I swear to God I did everything it says in the box to make the linky-clickey thing but no good? Damn. I never had this problem at Wonkette.

But who cares! It’s such a great story my hands are shaking from laughing.

@Benedick: This is a little much. Why would Curry demand head from this guy when he could buy a bus load of putatively discreet male prostitutes?

Meanwhile, Sarah Plain and Dumb will not shut… up…:

“Bored, anonymous, pathetic bloggers who lie annoy me….I’ll tell you, yesterday the Anchorage Daily News, they called again to ask — double-, triple-, quadruple-check — who is Trig’s real mom,” she said, in an interview to be published in the [Esquire’s] March issue.

“And I said, Come on, are you kidding me? We’re gonna answer this? Do you not believe me or my doctor? And they said, No, it’s been quite cryptic the way that my son’s birth has been discussed. And I thought, Okay, more indication of continued problems in the world of journalism.”

Let me go through this slowly. You — as a politician — banged the fundie drum about… well… about how non-marital, non-reproductive sex was basically evil. It’s a little bit cut-and-dried, but that’s basically the bottom line here. You also show no outward signs of being preggers before suddenly giving birth to a kid. And then comes the news that one of your kids happens to be pregnant. It all looks a little weird, and would continue to so look unless the birth records were opened up. And you refused to smack these rumors down HARD by refusing to make public that which is, normally, a matter of public record.

Oy vey.

making lemonade from lemons is my specialty.
at least it’s not AIDS.
and for everyone having a bad day, think of ratbastard.
NOBODY is having a worse day than him!

Breaking from Santa Fe, Crime Capitol of the Southwest:

“Police arrested Anthony Ruiz, 46, of Chimayó on Sunday and charged him with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and larceny. Ruiz allegedly tried to steal a Pomeranian dog from the 1800 block of Otowi Drive.”

re benedick
YES WE CAN! i’m too lazy busy to play with our tag helper toys.

no worries dearest. nothing fatal for me.
can’t say the same for the wrath he’s experiencing. it’s biblical in scope.
(and i’m talkin old testament, when god was really pissed)

@Benedick: The hyperlink tag is a little more complicated than the tags for bold, italic, etc., because it has more elements. When in doubt, just copy and paste from the tag helper and sub in your url and link text as noted.

Someone should give “Joe” “the Plumber” a copy of this.

@mellbell: I will do that. I try to copy exactly what nojo wrote but I guess, what with my head being all full of musical theatre and stuff, I guess I make mistakes. I am only human. But I will do as you suggest. That had never occurred to me. Go figure.

But, awesome scandal.

@baked: There are times when only Leviticus will do.

@baked: Honey, I am so, so sorry. Believe me, I feel your pain. Make his life a living hell.
@Benedick: Well, it’s about time we had a decent sex scandal. Well done, especially the part about reading an article on some sports person you (and I) had never heard of.

@mellbell: And while we’re on the subject of comments and such, can I just say how wonderful it is that we don’t have those awful nested comments. Even with the “latest comments” preview it would be miserable to try and keep track of all the new comments on any given thread. I will never forgive DCist for switching over to nested comments.

all i do is highlight the link in my browser, copy, then paste it in the comment box. works everytime. EZ.

@nabisco: Thanks for that. Humbling.

I urge everyone to read it if you haven’t already.

@nabisco: That amazing essay would be wasted on JTP, who wouldn’t be able to understand most of the big words anyway. It should be handed out to those sheep known as the Washington press corps, however.

@Mistress Cynica:
thanks cyn….can you really feel it? pass me a note in the back of the class…..misery loves company. i certainly hope you are being empathetic and not infected.

i’ll be asking for a show of hands at our secret clubhouse.

ThreadJack: Bradley Schlozman, worst person in the Universe:

@Dodgerblue: This doesn’t mean he’s gay, he might just miss the prison sex.

Well, maybe the first time… and always with a ‘dome.

Us males aren’t pretty, are we?

@SanFranLefty: @Benedick: @Mistress Cynica: I was struck numb and dumb after reading that.

@Prommie: I can’t imagine what kind of douchnozzle anyone would be with a name like Bradley Schlozman.

@Mistress Cynica: Sports persons I have not heard of. Hmm. That would be about… all of them.

@Dodgerblue: It’s not about the playing. It’s about the married and the master/slave and cum-soaked towels. What we need now are pictures!

@nabisco: Exactly. I’m grateful you posted the link.

Anyone see what Olmert said in a speech? He was bragging that he called W, dragged him off the podium while giving a speech, and demanded that W instruct Condi to vote against the ceasefire resolution she had proposed, and he says Bush did as he commanded:

“I said ‘get me President Bush on the phone’. They said he was in the middle of giving a speech in Philadelphia. I said I didn’t care. ‘I need to talk to him now’. He got off the podium and spoke to me.”

“I told him the United States could not vote in favour. It cannot vote in favour of such a resolution. He immediately called the secretary of state and told her not to vote in favour.”

Wow! Bush is apparently his lapdog! Someone’s pyschotic, ya think?

@Prommie: Yes, but I have a hard time getting past the rack on your avatar.

@nabisco: That was quite an essay. I think thats how people who are not cynical think. Quite amazing, to see someone who thinks that what he is doing has worth, and matters, and can help make the world a better place. I have not felt that way since, when was it, December 12, 2000?

@Prommie: The sad reality is that what this reporter did for his country is probably meaningless. We had our Daniel Pearl moment, and what did it leave us with? A sad tale of journalistic grit turned Angie vanity project.

@Prommie: In honor of the incoming Madame Secretary, WWHD? Because in this case, Rice abstained from a resolution that we helped to draft, and then she publicly supported the thing after abstaining.

@nabisco: See, you have the cynical too. We are a culture in decline.

What would Hillary have done? Hillary would have been in contact with her engaged president and have approval for what she was doing in the first place, and her president would not have needed to get an enraged call from Olmert, because her president would have been speaking to Olmert and would have told Olmert, whatever position the US is taking, we are taking it, and don’t be fucking calling me and whining about it.

If Hillz were president, of course, we would have nuked Gaza and Iran by now.

@nabisco: Or he’ll be the next Steve Biko and set off a complete firestorm. You just never know.

@nabisco: Yeah but not meaningless to him. And by example I’d suggest not meaningless to others.

@Prommie: Assuming Obama has the stones to stand up to the Israeli government. Keep hope alive.

@Benedick: I know, I’m just a cynic without a party these days.

@mellbell: Good point. Is Peter Gabriel required?

Tying this thread to the 2003 post, I think that was when it appeared that the tide had turned in favor of peace between the Sinhalese and the Tamils in Sri Lanka. Press all over Asia at the time said the money to the Tamils had dried up since, in the post-9/11 world, nobody wanted to back the original suicide bombers (label up for dispute, natch). In 2003 I helped one of my staff to get a junior appt. with the UN in Kilanochee where it appeared that the only things we weren’t able to deliver to the politically warring factions were unicorns and daisies.

Maybe the reversals in Sri Lanka can be tied to the overall GWOT, since bombings became the New Old-Fashioned when everyone realized that the real toothless tigers were the Americans.

@Dodgerblue: Barry swore fealty to AIPAC during his Take Back the Right Tour last summer. I’ll be curious to see how that works out.

@nabisco: Working in the field must be very dispiriting at times. And I bow to your far greater knowledge. But I do think that the important point is to believe in what one is doing for its own sake. Not easy, I know. But clearly, his actions allowed him to respect himself. From that final letter he didn’t seem delusional, he didn’t even seem particularly hopeful, but he sound like he had been true to himself. And that he’d done his best. Which is admirable.

oy. i’ll be enmeshed in this clusterfuck. i’m already addicted to their blogs. your humble servant and far flung correspondant will give you my slant from the ground. which at the moment is a massive humanitarian effort for gaza, and an immediate cease fire.

what i will likely see is the nuking of iran. before the inaug? perfect, barry and hill will be an interference.
what would motivate this massive retaliation? and to what end? i don’t think it has anything to do with the annoying lame hamas rockets. something is brewing…i’m stinqueing it.
i need a new travel agent.

@nojo: Hey, The United States exists solely for the military protection of Israel, all other functions of our government are afterthoughts, all politicians are aware of that. You can be sure, however, that the Barry administration will be a competent puppet government and will not be puiblicly called on the carpet and humiliated by the Israeli PM the way W and Condi were. Its embarrassing, these things should be handled with discretion, this public boasting by Olmert would not have been necessary if W and Rice were on the ball.

@baked: Your mission: Find Joe the Plumber War Correspondent. And kick him in the nuts.

@baked: Teabag him with a pair of trucknutz, that are attached to a truck.

heehee…i’ll find plenty of trouble and nuts to kick on moishe the plumber i’m sure.

Prommie touched on something a couple of hours ago, in re Bradley Schlozman. Turns out this guy was blatantly political and racist in the hiring/firing of AUSAs at the Civil Rights division.

Hey, Pat Leahy — stay pissed, brother. Make me believe that somebody in the Senate can actually get something accomplished once in a while and acquire Schlozman’s fun-marbles.

@chicago bureau: “How do you like your coffee? Like (the black head of the voting rights division), black and bitter.”

Ha ha, yuck yuck.

@nabisco: Holy fuck. I am completely floored by this essay. I am sort of sitting at my desk trying not to have some sort of mental episode.

@mellbell: Thanks to Threaded Comments, I can no longer visit Gawker Media sites. Even the ones I like.

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