Our guest columnist filed the following complaint with the Alaska Division of Elections on February 21. We previously heard from him a year ago, when he challenged the election of Lisa Murkowski on the grounds that “women or non-white citizens” are not Constitutionally qualified to hold office.

COMES NOW Gordon Warren Epperly, Pro Se, challenging the Nomination Petition of Barack Hussein Obama II, Aka Barack Hussein Obama, Aka Barack H. Obama or his Electors to appear on the Primary and General Election Ballots of the State of Alaska as a Candidate for the Office of President of the United States of America…

Standing of Complainant

I, Gordon Warren Epperly, has been domiciled within the State of Alaska since the year of 1965 and has resided at 10440 Glacier Highway in Juneau, Alaska (Swampy Acres) since the year of 1967. I am eligible to register as a voter and have voted in local and State Elections in past years. I am eligible to register to vote even though I have chosen not to do so for several years.

Status of Candidate

Barack Hussein Obama II, Aka Barack Hussein Obama, Aka Barack H. Obama has the race status of being a “Mulatto.” Barack Obama’s father (Barack Hussein Obama I) was a full blood Negro being born Nyang’oma Kogelo, Nyanza Province, Kenya and raised in the Colony of Kenya. Barack Obama’s mother (Stanley Ann Dunham) was a white Caucasian women being born in Wichita, Kansas on November 29, 1942 and raised in the State of Washington and in the State of Hawaii.

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When we’re suddenly hearing criticism of the Siri garage-band commercial from three independent realms of our online life, we suspect something’s up.

[via Know Your Meme]

Our guest columnist is a frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter, speaking in 2008 on a subject he disdains today.

This is not a political war at all. This is not a cultural war. This is a spiritual war. And the Father of Lies has his sights on what you would think the Father of Lies — Satan — would have his sights on: a good, decent, powerful, influential country — the United States of America.

If you were Satan, who would you attack in this day and age? There is no one else to go after, other than the United States, and that’s been the case for now almost two hundred years, once America’s preeminence was sown by our great Founding Fathers.

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If you really must skip forward to 7:10, we won’t hold it against you. But quite honestly, we think the first seven minutes are even more fucking awesome than the last ninety seconds.

Parents and Kids… watch. [Tommy Jordan/Facebook]

[via Know Your Meme]

[via Know Your Meme]

Even Jim Henson had to pay the rent, and in 1963 he helped keep the landlord at bay with this short film, produced for the Bell System to show at a data-communications seminar for business owners. If you’d like to try imagining the audience’s frame of mind, pretend that The Jetsons is a first-run prime-time cartoon.

1963 was more notable in Henson’s life — and everybody’s — for another reason: That was the year he hired Frank Oz.

[via Nerdist]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ntDYjS0Y3w

We are very, very drunk. Had we been sober, we probably would have posted this.

[via Sully]