Dad Says Hi

If you really must skip forward to 7:10, we won’t hold it against you. But quite honestly, we think the first seven minutes are even more fucking awesome than the last ninety seconds.

Parents and Kids… watch. [Tommy Jordan/Facebook]

[via Know Your Meme]


He can be my daddy any time. ANY TIME.

And yes, I have been bad.

Here’s the thing… WHY is his little girl this far gone in the first place? Could bad parenting have something to do with it?

I think “dad” (BTW, I agree with Benedick’s sentiment), should assign himself a little portion of the blame here.

@Buck: You’re on the trail. What I love about the first seven minutes is the subtext, which is very different from what Dad is saying. It’s a monologue about dysfunction with an unreliable narrator.

An “IT professional” who pays for software? He’s obviously a fraud.

@blogenfreude: From his discussion of maintenance, it sounded like Bad Seed used Windows, which is what an unthinking IT Pro would inflict on his family. Without spoiling the ending, my hunch was confirmed.

@nojo: I was mostly looking at how he fills out them jeans. Plus, I bet he knows his way around a bottle of Jim Beam. To say nothing of a little over the knee spanking.

@Buck: Am I right?

I’m heading over to Facebook to do a little friending.

It should also be said that, at what – 14, 15? his daughter is exactly like every other kid who has parents. That kid needs to get out of that house the second she’s 18. What a dick.

@blogenfreude: I don’t see the problem. She merely has a prying father who spies on her Facebook page and gets, um, upset when she says something untoward about him.

I feel like I’ve watched the history of Reality TV in nine minutes.

There are so many reasons I see no need to watch this.

It would have been more epic if Cigarette Smoking Dad put her stuff on Craigslist with the text of this video attached. At least someone more grateful would have benefitted.

After that, he needed to report to Benedick’s house for the adequate amount of spankings that would make up for his crappy fatherhood.

Who knew that a hormone charged dramatic teenager and an asshole don’t go well together?

Although I suspect if the kid took 3 minutes to sweep the floor, daddy would shit a brick.

Focus, people. We seem to be losing sight of the real story.

Young man is led astray. His first love, Craig, football captain, wrestling partner, spurns him for some chippy. In despair he turns to Debbie, gets her knocked up, and is forced to marry her. Fade out/fade in.

Clearly this child is his own personal ‘anchor baby’: his anchor to the world of str8. If he’s harsh can you blame him? Don’t you just want to put out that cigarette and engage him in a little wrestling? Just like Craig? There are times when a man must be a man and it looks like he’s there. If it involves some spanking and a little crying on the shoulder then so be it. Maybe he’s no Johnny Earle, but on a hot night on the Gulf Coast with the smell of tar balls in the air…

Daddy, I am so ready for some discipline. And yes please wear that hat.

@Buck: You never know. “Man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upwards”. I one baby-sat, back in the days of the Stray Cats and Billy Idol, a beautiful little girl with loving, supportive parents and great siblings. She had it all going for her, but sometime in the mid-nineties I got a call from my mother letting me know that Allie was gone. Heroin and cocaine.

Sometimes a parent can’t win for losing.

@IanJ: I didn’t watch it either, and yet feel perfectly justified in offering an opinion. This is, after all, what the Internet is for: Gratiouitous bullshit.

Gratiouitous misspelled bullshit made the internet wha it is today.

Off topic, I got to spend some time with a lovely Stinquer today. Photo should be up on FB soon.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Watch it. Srsly. This may be noje’s greatest gift to his our people. Noje porn.

TJ/ Totally snark-free: Whitney passed away today. A great talent gone too soon.

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