The Limits of Endurance

We are very, very drunk. Had we been sober, we probably would have posted this.

[via Sully]

All you need now is a toddler banging a pot with a wooden spoon.

@JNOV is like, Peace?:
Would a half deaf 41 year old crybaby housemate who doesn’t shut off his very loud alarm on weekends work?*

*currently happening as I type.

@JNOV is like, Peace?: Dancing dwarves?

@ManchuCandidate: take him tea. Spill it accidentally. Offer to help him remove his Jammie’s. He’ll be gone by lunchtime.

No drinx last night. Cleaned the front part of the house , washed and put away dishes and got my laundry started after watching “Paul” with Mrs RML so she could see the New Mexico scenery, including her hometown of Las Vegas,

She’ll be wallowing in South Carolina coverage all day while I’m going shooting with my brother in a bit. He got new scope mounts for a Savage .308 bolt action rifle, so we need to sight it in. That’s the one he nailed an elk with at 367 yards last month.

Just finished shovelling the 70 foot driveway and now I’ve taken the 4 year old to her swimming lesson. I’m next door a the Dunkin Donuts enjoying a coffee and a blueberry muffin and a half hour to myself. Yum. I need a break. Wife’s studying for her CPA which means I’ll be entertaining the kids all day. It’s funny, you hit middle age with two small children and going to work feels like you’re on vacation.

I’ll be running around preparing for next week’s dinner party (chicken and figs for the entree). This should allow me to devote tomorrow to football: Arsenal v Manchester United in the morning, 49ers v Giants in the afternoon.

Well, good morning!

@JNOV is like, Peace?: No wooden spoons, but let’s update with Hair of the Dogs Barking.

My daughter and her gf ate in town, so it’s a rainy weekend of Art until the Niners game starts tomorrow and I bail on them.

Programming Note: South Carolina primary open thread at 6:30pm ET. Polls close at 7.

This is a bit like dinner-time at our house. Interestingly, none of our dogs reacted, not even the younger pug who reacts to anything barking, etc on TV.

I’m pacing myself today so I’m alert for the returns coming in. I am so psyched for this primary. This is like the most exciting day ever. I’m backing Newt. He’s got the gravitas plus experience. Plus the whole values deal. He’s the total package. I’m also hoping that Cain/Colbert makes a strong showing. I’m just so excited.

@nojo: Looks like someone got lucky.

@Benedick: this primary is like watching two hated football teams play. it doesn’t matter who wins, because one of them will come out a loser so i can be happy yelling fuck you, loser! at the tv all day. drunk of course, just like a football game.


Oh but it’s much better even than that. It’s like watching two hated rivals play knowing that both starting quarterbacks are going to emerge from the game with serious knee injuries.

@redmanlaw: A long time ago when I was a kid I shot my first shotgun, a Savage. Knocked me on my ass. Who knew there was something called “stance”?

@Benedick: Looks like someone got lucky.

Someone got lucky by not having a massive hangover.

@nojo: Celebrating the completion of the project from hell?

@Walking Still: Sounds like my plans for tomorrow!

@SanFranLefty: Beans on slow cook – making stock from last week’s chicken carcass and black bean and chicken enchiladas from the leftovers. I love Saturdays.

@SanFranLefty: Escaping. For an evening.

The client emails started flooding in this morning before I woke up. Website migrations are a total bitch.

@Serolf Divad: It’s funny, you hit middle age with two small children and going to work feels like you’re on vacation.

I hear you. I could feel my L5 disc seizing up on me as the kids suited up and fled out the back door for sledding in our neighborhood park this morning. And I get my “vacations”, but a month or two into them I become maudlin over how much I miss them. In a week, however, I’ll be taking daily swims in 80 degree weather at a rooftop pool.

Font geeques! (You know who you are) I have a new favorite: Optima. That’s right. I don’t care if you sneer. It’s elegant yet somehow informal. A lot like me.

And speaking of me: Isn’t the whole Newt/Callista (or Cally Sue, as her family calls her according to Princess SP: and why would anyone give a child such an ostentatiously romantic name if they don’t intend to use it? Call her Cally. Fine. But Cally Sue? Is she a southron? They all have two names. Kisses to Stinque South. You are exempt. Apart from rptcub who is, I am convinced, called Jimmy Bob) – but to return to me, I was thinking the whole Cally Sue promising her little tub of lard that she would make him be preznint is so operatic.

Imagine impassioned duets in the rooftop bar of the Willard that overlooks the White House. Newt sucking the marrow out of the bones of black children veal as Cally Sue sucks the juices off his chins. And then later, when they repair to his suite, as he makes his goodnight call to Marriane, Cally Sue slips into something shimmery, featuring a thong and bustier, making sloppy mouth at Newty, on the bed in a bath robe, she dances towards him, cupping her quondam pert breasts as her lover kisses goodbye to his wife over the phone, his rampant member, all 4 1/2″ of it forcing its way through the terrycloth to find its promised home breastfucking his muse, most beautiful, beloved by Zeus.

It’s Tosca for Dummies.

@Benedick: Very poetic, but I still threw up a little bit in my mouth reading that passage.

@Benedick: I don’t mind Optima, I just mind that every other client of mine used it ad nauseam back in the ’80s. And Redneck Tosca? I’m sure that would have played Times Square if Disney hadn’t sanitized it. Classy!

@matador1015: Yeah, I have an aversion to every LaserWriter font from Eighties.

@nojo: Oooh! Battle Font Throw Down with Benedick!

Please, you know that Team Font Nerds (me, Mistress Cynica, flippin, Mellbell, and anyone else willing to come out of the closet) will be watching this closely.

We haven’t yet divided into Team Nojo and Team Benedick. We’re all about respecting the font, here on Team Font Nerds.

Start putting tails on those t’s, boys!

I’m just thinking. Stationery.Light grey. Optima in charcoal.

@Benedick: Light flannel rag thick stock. Not to be confused with sandy eggo persiflage.

@Benedick: Nothing gets confused with Sandy Eggo Persiflage.

@nojo: <3

@Benedick: ACK!

@Benedick: You and yer fancy werdz.

@nojo: You, too.

ADD: Oh! I like that word.

@Benedick: @nojo: Hey, you two, its full name is Airy Persiflage, or at least that’s what my mother always called it.

@lynnlightfoot: I thought Ari Persiflage was Bush’s press secretary.

3GS TJ/ Soooooo, this iBooks thing. Am I going to go blind?

@JNOV is like, Peace?: Depends on what kind of books you download, and what you do while reading them.

@JNOV is like, Peace?: Yes.

@nojo: She’s a Franch cabaret star who sings too much Brel.

@JNOV is like, Peace?: And a very good morning to you as well. The jury is still out on mine. The caffeine hasn’t kicked in yet, and I need it badly.

Apple™ TJ con’t./ So, this iPad thing… If I were to buy one, what do you think of refurbs? (I’m cool with going to iFixit.)

Oh! The 2 comes with a red cover! Oh, look! A squirrel!

Are 16 gigs worth $100 to the average hoomin? Crossing the $500 line freaks me.

@Benedick: Brel. That’s a shampoo, right?

@Walking Still: That’s okay. The grapes haven’t kicked in over here.

Wait. They want 39 bucks for that fucking cover‽

@JNOV is like, Peace?:
good morning! and aren’t we perky today! i LOVE when you’re perky! and i have questions too. you know how tech savvy i am…should i buy a real camera or just update to the gs4?
i want to discuss anything except for that pasty bloated porcine eyed gasbag or that smarmy smug sneering bottle of hair product.

/GO Colbert/Cain!

@baked: I wish I were perky. I’m more like pissed and shocked. The Offspring has become insolent and lost his mind. Rather than receive nasty texts, calls, etc., The Adult Offspring can walk his Happy Adult Offspring Ass to Clear and get a phone from which Insane Insolent Offspring (IIO) may continue The Insolent Insults of the Highest Order if IIO so chooses.

As a result, I can afford a new toy.

ADD: And a haircut. And maybe add to my jeans collection that numbers one. Some new underwear would be nice, too. And maybe some fucking food.

Offspring: Blessing/Curse. And as House put it, “Everybody’s parents mess them up.” I’m waiting to see how badly I’ve messed him up. But he won’t be calling to tell me anytime soon…

@JNOV is like, Peace?: So here’s the deal…

I have an original $500 16-gig wifi iPad that I’m very happy with.

I’m so happy with it, I’m promising myself a $500 16-gig wifi iPad 3 when it comes out (probably) in March, as a reward for surviving the past few weeks of Client Hell.

I don’t have the 3G option, because it costs more and I don’t need it. I only use the iPad at home, and even if I took it to coffee shops, they all have wifi.

And, for my purposes, 16 gigs is plenty of space. (Don’t know the iPad 3 specs yet, but Apple typically keeps the same prices while improving the quality.)

I don’t have an opinion on refurbs, but like my original 2007 iPhone, the original iPad will be outstripped in a year or two by more-demanding software. So, skip that unless it’s dirt-cheap. False economy.

There is, however, a chance that Apple might keep the iPad 2 when the new model is announced, and lower that price to $400, the way it now offers three different iPhone generations. If you’re budget-minded, that wouldn’t be a bad deal.

But everything is speculation until Apple makes an announcement. Everybody’s betting that announcement will happen by March, so sit tight until then. Then you’ll know your options.

@nojo: MWAH! May Client Hell only be Purgatory. I’ll buy you a mass card.

ADD: I wonder if monks would pray for “Nojo Stinque.” Let’s find out…

@JNOV is like, Peace?: Well, it’s a magnetic cover that does Cool Shit…

And, again, depends on use. My iPad is a homebody, and I really don’t need a cover. Also, I do most of my writing while laying on my back on the couch, so I don’t need the Fancy Folding Option that cover provides for typing.

If I trotted the iPad out to the coffeehouse all the time, I’d think about a cover. And for $40, what the hell. If I typed that way, the utility would be worth it.

@nojo: Oh, and yeah — I wasn’t going to get the 3G. Nice app Free Wi-Fi Finder.

@JNOV is like, Peace?: Honestly, I’d be tempted by the more-expensive leather options. Thank god I don’t need a cover.

@nojo: Aw, hell. Now I gotta see what cooler shit they do. I just read the poly specs and was sold.

Naw. Same cool shit. Now I have to go to the store to see these things. I’ll take hand sanitizer.

@JNOV is like, Peace?:

iPad Cover Cool Shit:

1. Magnetic hinges. Attaches automatically.

2. Close cover, iPad sleeps. Open cover, iPad wakes up. (iPad 2 only — cover doesn’t work with the original.)

3. Cover folds underneath to create a tilted typing stand. Ergonomically useful if you type on a tabletop. Not much point when laying on your back on the couch.

@nojo: Yeah. And they both do the same thing, sooooo, I have to feel both covers first. Being tactile can be costly.

@JNOV is like, Peace?:

Oh, and:

4. Teeny cleaning bristles when it’s closed.

My iPad is Fingerprint Central, but I really don’t notice it. I only bother cleaning it every few months.

@JNOV is like, Peace?: No, it’s my oily quarter-Wop fingers. I’m hell on keyboards.

@nojo: I grew up blissfully ignorant of most epithets except for those directed at me from white and black people. I didn’t know the “markers” of someone’s last name; that a surname might tell you that person’s ethnicity. I wish I’d never learned.

Anyway, this is what I thought “Wop” meant before I found out how we label people. I still don’t know why we label them, though.

@JNOV is like, Peace?: Do you know how an Italian flat tire sounds? Wop-wop-wop-wop.

But despite my rich Italo-Swedo-Wightian heritage, I’m blessed with a delightfully bland name. The only tell is what an Irish drunk at a bar once called my Roman nose.

@nojo: Aquiline, Dear. (Can’t have Bene beat me to that.)

@JNOV is like, Peace?: “Honker.” Which definitely applies to the Family Sneeze, which will blow out your car windows.

@JNOV is like, Peace?: To be fair, my Roman Nose is barely a bud when compared to, say, Demetri Martin. Now that’s an edifice.

@nojo: Poor Demetri. If you get a show on Comedy Central, you need to think of new material once in a while.

@nojo: We need a profile pic picture in profile (weird how “profile” has a whole new meaning) to know The Truth. Preferably with Puyi or whatever cat shit in your shoes.

Plus, the honker is still growing, yes? The cartilage, at least. How are the ears? ;-P

@SanFranLefty: I know you’re overworked and underpaid, but I would give just about anything for another Hot Men of [Any] Sport post. Maybe not college football. It’s an election /leap/Olympics year. We need more ears.

@JNOV is like, Peace?: Back to the original line of this post, part of Friday night’s drunken discussion with Silent Creative Partner involved the really nasty things hair does in your ears after you pass 50.

@nojo: “The owls are not what they seem.” (Shurrup, flypaper! I haven’t finished the series.)

Yeah, hair starts to grow in weird places.


My legendary (?) rewrite of When I’m 64 in honor of a friend’s retirement started:

Now I’m older
Ears full of hair
Almost out the door

@Walking Still: Heh. Ear tufts are not nearly as gross as escaping nose hair. What’s the joke about losing the hair on your head and it migrating elsewhere? [Insert reference to going blind here.]

No one can control what happens to their pate, but hair on the loose is another other.

@Walking Still: I’m going to look like Andy Rooney in ten years.

@JNOV is like, Peace?: As long as I can keep it off my palms.

@nojo: +1. Someone should find a use for stuff – basting brush, lp cleaner, hemp substitute (for ropemaking).

@Walking Still: Uh, yeah. Do what I do with yarn clippings: leave it outside for the birds.

@Walking Still: There’s an old wives tale about cleaning hair brushes — if birds put your hair in their nests, you’ll go crazy. I thought that was bullshit, but I’m not so sure now…

@JNOV is like, Peace?: totally true.

I like my magic cover and recommend it in the microfibery option. You can get a refurb iPad 2 at the Apple store with warrantee. I had mine engraved ‘Free John Edwards’.

IBooks is extremely well done.

@Benedick: Free Johnny Earle from what, exactly? Your dungeon?

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