Did you know that everyone’s favorite metaphor for the self-destruction of the Republican party, Sarah Palin, isn’t exactly tops when it comes to finishing things she started? You probably suspected as much when she quit the governorship last week, explaining that doing anything else would mean she was a quitter (Huh?!?! WTF?!?!?) But yeah, Palin has a habit of leaving the crayons all over the playroom table without finishing her picture and leaving it to the other kids to clean up her mess.  The blog Swing State Project, for instance, notes that Sarah Palin quit the last thing she was doing before she was governess :

One other thought about Alaska that just about everyone in the tradmed seems to be missing. Sarah Palin did have a job in between being mayor of Wasilla and Alaska Governor: she was chair of Frank Murkowski’s Oil and Gas Commission. How long was she on this Commission? Less than a year… until she quit in January 2004 with a big public huff (leaving the Commission in the lurch with only one member), saying “the experience was taking the ‘oomph’ out of her passion for government service and she decided to quit rather than becoming bitter.”

And the Daily Kos adds:

Don’t forget that she also quit four different colleges en route to getting a degree in journalism. It seems that the one lesson Sarah Palin’s learned her whole life is that quitters always win.

Yaaay, quitters always win! I’m off to quit something right now!

(Via Daily Kos)

Serolf Divad never really quit enough stuff to be truly succesful.

TBogg offers the best summation I’ve seen so far:

But somewhere along the line (I’m guessing when her Alaska Trust Fund only pulled in about $125,000 of the $500,000 that they were seeking  for her mounting legal bills) she decided to cut bait and make a dash for the cash sooner rather than later. As we move farther away from the election and more little tidbits come trickling out of the McCain campaign, time is not going to be her friend.

Sarah Palin isn’t smart in what we might call conventional ways, but she has grifter smarts and knows that she can make a better living working the wingnut welfare circuit preaching to the already converted than she can in politics. She’ll never be President; you know it and she knows it. Everyone should know it. But there are a lot of rubes out there who think she’s got a shot and they’re just dumb enough to pay good money thinking it will happen. That is what she’s counting on.

And the following video is one of the most sphincter-tightening I’ve ever seen (watch AC’s face, for one thing):

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Hooo-eee! We was abstaynin' all night long until the hogs came home! Hooo-eee!

White trash Wasilla hockey fuckwit Levi ‘Jethro’ Johnston, son of an alleged drug dealer and father to Talibunny’s first grandchild, Tripp, is getting ready to make America gag with tales of abstinence gone wild, oxycontin-fueled hillbilly madness and the wanton unquenchable lust for power and silk underwear exhibited by the Talibunny and her trained mute, Todd.

Jethro and his hired ape-publicist, ‘Tank’, told New York Magazine this week that they’re working full-time to whore out all the insanely salacious stories about the Palins they can sell. We know what those stories will be about:

• The bestiality,
• the hillbilly aesthetics,
• the peasant criminality,
• the mental disorders,
• the fascist lunacy of the Talibunny,
• the loathing of the McCain campaign staff,
• the Talibunny’s twisted parenting skills,
• the wanton hunger for real clothes
• Most  importantly, the non-stop, barn-shaking pestorking that attends teen-age abstinence:

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Nice windows you got there, folks.

Sarah Palin’s lawyer celebrates the First Amendment with this Independence Day missive:

To the extent several websites, most notably liberal Alaska blogger Shannyn Moore, are now claiming as “fact” that Governor Palin resigned because she is “under federal investigation” for embezzlement or other criminal wrongdoing, we will be exploring legal options this week to address such defamation. This is to provide notice to Ms. Moore, and those who re-publish the defamation, such as Huffington Post, MSNBC, the New York Times and The Washington Post, that the Palins will not allow them to propagate defamatory material without answering to this in a court of law. The Alaska Constitution protects the right of free speech, while simultaneously holding those “responsible for the abuse of that right.” Alaska Constitution Art. I, Sec. 5. These falsehoods abuse the right to free speech; continuing to publish these falsehoods of criminal activity is reckless, done without any regard for the truth, and is actionable.

Falsehoods? What falsehoods?

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This is shaping up to be a great scandal.  I’ve been all over the blogosphere this morning, so here’s a smattering.

• Bradblog hints that the scandal might be an “iceberg” – there’s more to it than the stadium/house mess we learned about last night.
• Erick the Red is so angry that he’s writing sentences such as: “Sarah Palin has been the subject of vicious, vile attacks. Her family and key staff have all been driven to the verge of financial ruin by relentless legal attacks that are routinely thrown out, but still must be offended.”
• Buckeye Sam at Hot Air says, without a trace of irony, that now that Sarah is “unleashed and no longer hamstrung by her office, she’ll be a boondoggle to conservative candidates.”

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Boy, the Corner is a treasure trove today.  I noted Rich Lowry’s assessment in a thread.  But it’s not just him.  The vultures are well and truly out.  Lashing out for the disastrous veep run a bit late, I suppose.

Dana Perino (God help me, I’ve missed her):

If Sarah Palin was trying to make news today, she had odd timing. At a time when Farah Fawcett and Ed McMahon’s deaths paled — almost as much as another recently departed celebrity’s skin — into insignificance, perhaps she hoped her resignation on a holiday Friday would pass unnoticed. But that isn’t really her style, which makes today’s abrupt announcement seem more like a whim — a characteristic her detractors worried about during the campaign. 

But… a minority view from (hoo boy) Bill Kristol:

All in all, it’s going to be a high-wire act. The odds are against her pulling it off. But I wouldn’t bet against it.

Wait — Bill thinks this possibly is a good move?  Well, that seals it.  Nice knowing ya, Sarah Plain and Dumb.

More Corner goodness, post-jump.

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From Sarah Palin’s resignation speech:

In fact, this decision comes after much consideration, and finally polling the most important people in my life — my children (where the count was unanimous… well, in response to asking: “Want me to make a positive difference and fight for ALL our children’s future from OUTSIDE the Governor’s office?” It was four “yes’s” and one “hell yeah!” The “hell yeah” sealed it — and someday I’ll talk about the details of that…

We can’t wait to hear them. Did Trig vote the “hell yeah”?

Sarah Palin Resignation Speech [HuffPo]