Morning Sedition

Save some for 2012, gang.

Mob favorite Sarah “Talibunny” Palin came out strong against opponent Michael “Tossed Salad” Steele this weekend in the Wingnut Tournament semifinals, drawing spectacular fire from former teammate John “Psychogeezer” McCain, and sucking the air from the court with run-and-gun infighting. Steele’s new Obama’s-Just-Not-Into-Me defense withered in face of the onslaught.

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Say it ain’t fucking so, Joe!

After MSNBC scolded us yesterday for using language unfit for a vice president on the floor of the Senate, we feared that our potty mouths were a bigger threat to the Republic than war crimes carried out in our name. But thankfully, MSNBC’s online health columnist tells us we’re just doing what comes naturally when faced with the profanity of the world:

“There are a lot of elements that are out of our control right now and as a result, there’s a lot more frustration, a lot more fear and anxiety,” [L.A. psychotherapist Nancy Irwin] says. “When people feel that, many cuss. Swearing is something that gives us an instantaneous release.”

That it does. And we’re not alone in seeking the bliss of a Chaucerian outburst — Gallup finds that 74 percent of Americans frequently “encounter” profanity in public. Online, the delightful site Cursebird tracks real-time swearing on Twitter — Thursday leaders included fuck, shit, bitch, bastard and twat.

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Now available in XXXL.

1. Which state leads the nation in federally subsidized condom manufacturing?

2. How much money will the government save by switching to “cheaper off-shore condoms”?

3. How many nasty insinuations can you make from “Eufaula”?

4. Which of the following does not manufacture condoms: Alatech, Unidus, Qingdao Double Butterfly Group, AIG.

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Second choice: Innerspace.A nation’s thanks go out to the elected representatives of the great state of Wyoming, who took a noble stand this month to prevent our Republic from descending into tyranny.

A tyranny of their own devising, but we’ll get to that.

What they did two weeks ago was pass a resolution rescinding their state’s earlier call for a Constitutional Convention. The action follows an alert issued in December by the American Policy Center, publisher of “Why the UN is Worthless to Human Existence,” which feared the consequences should alien usurper Barack Obama get his mitts on our sacred documents:
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce3xgC2z6Ew

If your outrage lasts more than four hours, consult a physician.

Yes, we’re riffing on that title again, as well as picking up an omitted digression from our earlier brief discussion of entreprenurial interview techniques, if only because this one’s playing out in real time.

If you, like us, are obsessive avoiders of Bill O’Reilly’s Cavalcade of Comedy, you may not know that LoofahMan enjoys chasing prey with television cameras, as the clip here from Monday night demonstrates. We didn’t know ourselves, until Jon Stewart took a moment from CNBC-bashing to enlighten us.

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  • There's fiber, and then there's high fiber.Unwelcome fantasies of Rush Limbaugh
  • Sounds you didn’t know you were capable of
  • Last night’s dinner
  • A brief, fleeting vision of the solution to the Rubik’s Cube
  • Cowboy Walk

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This is the size of the turd I'm laying on NBC this fall.

  • Conservatives looking for a distraction from AIG: 1 point
  • Liberals seeking to prove they’re capable of criticizing the President: 1 point
  • Outrage from people who used “retard” in conversation only hours earlier: 1 point
  • Bowlers: 1 point

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