The Wingnut Bracket

Everybody loses!

Some exciting GOP Tournament play this week, as Sarah “Talibunny” Palin introduced her volcanic “Monitor This” offense against archrival Bobby “The Exorcist” Jindal, throwing elbows to her own Republican legislators for good measure.

In other quarterfinal action, John “Here it is, Mr. President” Boehner threw a head fake to Eric “I Heart Britney” Cantor and drove the GOP Etch-a-Budget straight to the wastebasket, while fears that Michael “Tossed Salad” Steele had peaked early were put to rest when he dominated Joe the “Wifebeater” Plumber’s fading tumescence with his masterly I-planned-to-peak-early comeback.

But the week’s breakout star was Michele “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann, scoring play after play after play, and burying Glenn “Tears of a Clown” Beck in so much crazy that she’s sure to win the Kitty Harris MVP award. America’s batshit for Bachmann!

17 Comments

@redmanlaw:
The NRA is like eHarmony except with more guns?

I wanna see th Talibunny/Bachmann final catfight on pay per view.

Of all listed, Steele is the only one that suspects he is utterly full of shit. But somewhere in his past he made a decision that left him on the dark side. He can’t escape because they own him.

Stinquers, never forget that the queen of the crazy Kitty Harris is waiting in the GOP wings in a secure location. She can bring the brainless at least as well as either Palin or Bachmann.

@Dave H: I had forgotten about Katherine and her giant plastic tittay sacks. I wonder if she’ll be back? I hope so – the GOP needs more clinically insane candidates.

@blogenfreude: 10-gallon tits and a hat to match. And you say the Repubs got no style!

O/T: anyone see that 6-10 kid from Oklahoma go half-court on a breakaway and score? Scored 30 points against a collapsing 2-3 zone. Unfuckingbelievable.

@blogenfreude: Plastic titties in a $600 custom fit bra. All it takes is Daddy’s money.

@mellbell:
Villanova isn’t like the other Catholic or Jesuit schools, it’s filled with douchebag Catholics who go on to work as i-bankers on Wall Street and date rape women at beach houses in the Hamptons.

However, ‘Nova beat Puke, so I’m happy. DC was always crawling with douchebag Puke alumni so I think I hate the ‘Nova alumni less.

@SanFranLefty: Isn’t LNS about 2/3s Dukies? Doesn’t that say it all?

@SanFranLefty: I actually kind of like Villanova, but only because they share the Main Line with my alma mater.

@Dave H:

I think she’s in a lounge bar, drinking Tanquray 10 martinis and singing along with the act, still clutching the last memo she got before she stopped being somebody

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: Makeup smeared, bags under her eyes, hair all rumpled…. the classique hot mess.

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: You know how the GOP loves to recycle people who have disappeared off the political radar. Look at the entire GWB administration starring Cheney and Rummy and the whole 70’s Gerald Ford gang.

I don’t think Florida’s favorite Kitty has left center stage permanently. One way or another she’ll scratch and claw her way back. When Jeb or another Bush decides to make a political move she’ll be right there fighting for camera time.

@mellbell: Nova and Swarthies, meh. What’s next, St. Joe’s? Quakes, y’all!

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