GOP Icon Joe the Wife Beater Offers His Schlong to a Neonazi Media Hate Fest

Drooling fuckwit turned GOP icon and spokesman, Joe the Wife Beater, finally found a way to repulse a crowd of Republicans, usually inured to the most vile, primitive expressions of hate, rage and wanton excess. Appearing at the fascist think tank Media Research Center’s annual DisHonors Awards, Joe the Womanless Schlong Beater, responded to applause by admitting the accolades were making his dick hard.

Clearly, the slack-jawed sackless bag of shit thought he’d be tackled then and there by some bee-hived fascist wenches, who’d service his unused tool. Instead, apparently, even these neonazis expressed revulsion and bleeted their appalled protests.  They saw then and there that the party of Lincoln and Ike was represented by a drug addicted alleged pederast and, here, an unemployed wife beater who was moments away asking for volunteers in the crowd to participate and judge a hard-on contest. It must have been all too much.

The Washington Post reported yesterday:  The Republican’s Working Man hero Joe the Plumber could barely contain himself last night before a crowd of adoring, media-bashing conservatives. “God, all this love and everything in the room – I’m horny,” declared Joe, whose real name is Samuel Wurzelbacher.

Weirdly, this GOP festival of hate, to distinguish it from others, is a mock ceremonial event to direct scorn at members of the media who do not exhibit the kind of commitment to full-throated fascism the Republicans expect from members of the media, like their media hero Julius Streicher. The fascist think tank controlled the agenda, the media attendees, the guest list, the speaker list, the hall, everything down to the color of the napkins.

Yet no amount of spin could make Joe the Wife Beater and Schlong Tugger appear as anything but what the fuck he is: a hurdy gurdy monkey the GOP enjoys jeering at when he pulls his dick in public, the Everyman who represents everything the party despises yet laughingly exploits.

10 comments:

1:48 pm • Friday • March 20, 2009

So, does this get the TV Eye off of Special Olympics?

1:52 pm • Friday • March 20, 2009

Joe the Plumber’s Crack is Jeff Gannon right? Right? Right?

1:55 pm • Friday • March 20, 2009

@Nabisco: No, Joe is a one-time Special Olympics’ bronze medalist in the Dry-humping the Neighbor’s Dog event.

2:07 pm • Friday • March 20, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: Did someone say dog sex?

The hardware store on Broadway I’ve used for years is gone. Disappeared. Wow. They were so overpriced I thought they’d NEVER go out of business.

2:10 pm • Friday • March 20, 2009

Oh, the lady with the Vegemite. Yes, she should have her own conservative talk radio show.

2:11 pm • Friday • March 20, 2009

Wow, what a steaming pile of charisma that guy is.

2:14 pm • Friday • March 20, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: Scooter Libby would be the perfect first guest. And a bear. A specially trained bear.

2:16 pm • Friday • March 20, 2009

@Prommie: And those Dodge Aspens turning in clusters.

3:22 pm • Friday • March 20, 2009

Git ’er done!

Oops. Wrong roast. The sleeves should have been a tip-off.

4:12 pm • Friday • March 20, 2009

@nojo: I have more respect for Larry the Cable Guy at this point. At least that guy knows he’s a clown.

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