OSHA for torturers, as provided by the U.S. Department of Justice’s Office of Legal Counsel in a May 20, 2005, memo released to the ACLU on Thursday.

1. Dietary manipulation.

This technique involves the substitution of commercial liquid meal replacements for normal food, presenting detainees with a bland, unappetizing, but nutritionally complete diet. … In general, minimum daily fluid and nutritional requirements are estimated using the following formula:

• Fluid requirement: 35 ml/kg/day. This may be increased depending on ambient temperature, body temperature, and level of activity…
• Calorie requirement: The CIA generally follows as a guideline a calorie requirement of 900 kcal/day + 10 kcal/kg/day. This quantity is multiplied by 1.2 for a sedentary activity level or 1.4 for a moderate activity level. … Calories are provided using commercial liquid diets (such as Ensure Plus), which also supply other essential nutrients and make for nutritionally complete meals.

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Now that they’ve definitively proved that thousands of the 59 million people who voted against Barack Obama five months ago still oppose him now, don’t think the Nut Factory isn’t lacking for raw material. Let’s catch up with some of the other memes still popping veins at WorldNetDaily:

1. Hawaii’s Fake Baby Mill.

Like Hillary knocking off Vince Foster, the forged birth certificate never goes away. Unlike Hillary knocking off Vince Foster, it’s not true.

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• Not enough publicity.
• Crowds lost their way after Obama turned off GPS.
• Ill-timed Rapture.

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Advice on offer from “Wall Street Prison Consultants”, which for $850 will help you survive the hell you’ve earned for ruining the world economy:

• Prevent Being RAPED
• Inmate Etiquette & Politics
• Avoiding and Spotting Informants

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Candidate		Pros	Cons
	Clifford	Big. Also, red.	Clashes with Michelle’s wardrobe
	Droopy	Calm	Senate term incomplete
	Sam	Vigilant	Punches out at five
	Scooby	Friendly	Failed urine test

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In his rush to out-bloviate Wednesday’s Hyperventilation Winner, the fascinatingly named Bob Peters of Morality in Media seems to have lost his mind between his headline and his seventh paragraph.

From the top:

Connecting the Dots: The Link Between Gay Marriage and Mass Murders

And at the bottom:

It most certainly is not my intention to blame the epidemic of mass murders on the gay rights movement!

If nothing else, we now understand why folks like Peters insist the Bible doesn’t contradict itself.

Connecting the Dots: The Link Between Gay Marriage and Mass Murders [Christian NewsWire]

Everyone else is doing it, so why not us? Buy something via our Amazon kickback link, and 100% of the proceeds will defend our ability to continue posting about Sarah Palin!

What? You haven’t heard of the other Talibunny Defense Funds? Well, there’s the “official” fund, but you can’t throw money at it, because it doesn’t exist yet. And then there’s the unofficial fund, which launched Tuesday and prompted alarming! emails Wednesday from both SarahPAC and Team Sarah, telling us to keep our wallets holstered.

But with our fund, you can get a Kindle! You’ll have to pay for it, of course, but that’s still a better return than our competitors. We love the free market!

We also love the freelance Sarah Palin’s Defense Fund, which has nothing to do with Sarah Palin, and links to The Sarah Palin Blog, which also has nothing to do with her — just like us! The renegade fund is run by a new PAC called Free American Citizens, which also raises money via Sarah Palin’s War Chest, another fundraising operation that — please, don’t get ahead of us — also has nothing to do with Sarah Palin.

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