We Can Only Hope

On the other hand: Rita Moreno.

Advice on offer from “Wall Street Prison Consultants”, which for $850 will help you survive the hell you’ve earned for ruining the world economy:

  • Prevent Being RAPED
  • Inmate Etiquette & Politics
  • Avoiding and Spotting Informants

  • Getting A Lower Bunk Pass
  • Staying Out of Solitary (The SHU)
  • Flying CON AIR
  • Why Staff Lie & Dislike Inmates
  • How To Survive A Prison Riot
  • Dealing With Gang Members
  • Microwave Cooking Techniques
Wall Street Prison Consultants

Talk about niche market. I don’t know why I would be surprised to learn that such a service exists. But I am. I’ve been reading the site in question all morning while I drink coffee. And I am speechless. Which doesn’t happen often, let me tell you.

More importantly, I got the mulching done and the daffodils are opening nicely. Can the lilacs be far behind?

There’s a Riot Goin’ On in Cell Block #9.

My college band “Los Daily Lobos” made up of me and two guys from the University of New Mexico’s student newspaper, The Daily Lobo, and two of our brothers used to play this one and a bunch of other rockin blues and rockabilly on Friday nights to entertain ourselves. Chip in to buy a case of beer or play a party or a gig, that was fun.

So I guess Oz or any number of Sybil Danning prison films isn’t on the recommended viewing list.

The guy who runs this company got into some big trouble with the California State Bar a few months ago, if my memory of what I read in the Bar Journal is correct. If I remember right, he was charged with practicing law without a license.

ManchuCandidate: I sensed a disturbance in Nick Denton’s energy field just then.

Srsly: D THY KNW WH W R?

Back on the topic:

Prevent Being RAPED
Inmate Etiquette & Politics
Avoiding and Spotting Informants

Canteen Account Management
The Barter System: A Crash Course
Chess Strategy For Yelling-Out-Moves Play

@ManchuCandidate: @chicago bureau: Uh oh. This could bring Undesirables into the tent. Is there a Wiki Big Kahuna who can delete edits that are anti-zombie?

@Dodgerblue: The i09.com crowd is OK for the most part (they let me and manchu play in their sandbox). There’s a couple of guys who are tiresome RW tools in the mix, but most of the debates are about Serenity or Firefly or something like that.

@chicago bureau: Maybe Big Tobacco can slip Bernie a few cartons to help him out. Also, does the prison consultant cover how to make hooch from fruit, sugar, and yeast (?) stuffed in a plastic bag behind the toilet tank in the cell?

One of the RW tools isn’t so bad as long as we don’t get into it over economics or politics (which we have), but I like the regular crowd at io9.

@SanFranLefty: @ManchuCandidate: @redmanlaw: @Dodgerblue: @chicago bureau: Anyone up for the challenge of zombifying the Stinque Exodus from Gawker Media?

I actually took a stab at a Psalm on Sunday. Considering I had never read any of the actual Bible, it was fun!

Also, back to the post, I am thinking a primer on anal douching may be appropriate. Makes things less…unpleasant.

@ManchuCandidate: [Mr. Burns cackle]

Pitched it to the io9 tip address Sunday.

@nojo: Care to choose your twelve apostles now, Overlord, or shall we assign them randomly? I’ve got a pretty good idea who Judas would be…

@Nabisco: Short of Zombie Apostles — and who will be Judas? — I added a Top Zombies page last night, which among other things is a way to make sure everyone here gets credited.

The only one of those course topics that surprised me was “Microwave Cooking Techniques.”


/TJ What, is everybody as busy as I am today? Where is my Stinque family? Bring the posts, y’all!

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: My interwebz were down at my office. “Working at home” now until a late afternoon meeting.

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket:

federal tax filing deadline tomorrow… totally slammed… and not in a good way…

I’m in tech week, so I’m barely spending any time at the computer until next week, most likely. If you’re in Seattle, come see Love’s Tangled Web, opening this Friday! With a description like “Hellzapoppin’ sex farce,” how can you go wrong?

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket:
I actually had to do some work today. WTF?!? I know!

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: I am anxiously getting ready for all of the hot teabagging action tomorrow.

Just signed the lease, paid the deposit. What the holy fuck am I doing?

@Prommie: Mazoltov! (Is that the right spelling? As a Brit I can plead ignorance tho the intent is sincere)


Awesome. Hang in there, the panic goes away….

TJ: Bo-bama puppeh slideshow of headsplattering cuteness.

@Prommie: You are seizing the day and doing something you’ve always wanted to do. Good luck!

@Prommie: Make sure you give advance notice of the Grand Opening. The east coast Stinquers will show up with mostly paid off credit cards in hand; I’ll pick JNOV up along the way, srsly!

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: Have you started a business? Whew, actually, the panic has been overwhelming me for weeks, as we haggled back and forth on terms, but now, already, the panic is mostly gone. I’ve been a wreck for 3 weeks.

We are doing it on a shoestring, thats the worst worst way to start a biz, but I must roll the dice, getting older every damn year.

Thanks to everyone for the good wishes. Of course, I will let you all know when.

@Promnight: I’ve started a law practice from nothing. Yes, the panic goes away after a while. Seeing a few clients/customers come in the door helps a lot.

@Promnight: Best wishes for the opening of cafe prom. Please let us know the opening date and address for cards and flowers. Remember to get your FB and webz pages up and start generating some free media around the opening. You have a story to tell.

@redmanlaw: RML, thank you, I will be doing everything and anything the next month. We take physical possession May 7th, we would really like to be open May 15th, its gonna be a fucking death march to open by memorial day. Dayuum, I am excited about it now. Dayum. Fuck, wow.

@Promnight: I think JNOV is trying to find a way to keep JNOV Jr. occupied so you might be able to score some labor if you talk to her. This is really cool. And I agree with RML – you need to create a buzz on the tubez…if you can get someone from a Philly or NYC paper to mention you, that will be golden.

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