Mark Sanford: Refused stimulus. Disappeared for days on Adventure Trip, ultimately confessed affair with Argentine firecracker.

Bobby Jindal: Refused stimulus. In a major national appearance, provoked comparisons to intern character on popular sitcom.

Sarah Palin: Refused stimulus. Unwed-mother daughter named national spokesperson for abstinence campaign sponsored by sexy-teen clothing company. Last seen picking a fight with late-night television host.

Rick Perry: Refused stimulus. Last seen rallying Texas to secession.

Haley Barbour: Refused stimulus. Family and friends cashed in on Katrina recovery funds.

Butch Otter: Refused stimulus. His name is Butch Otter.

June 23, 2009:

“Under which conditions would you accept the election of Ahmadinejad, and if you do accept it without any significant changes in the conditions there, isn’t that a betrayal of the — of what the demonstrators there are working towards?”

July 15, 2004:

“Last Friday, the Senate Intelligence Committee released a report that shows that Ambassador Joe Wilson lied when he said his wife didn’t put him up for the mission to Niger… Doesn’t Joe Wilson owe the President and America an apology for his deception and his own intelligence failure?”

The first question was asked yesterday at Obama’s press conference by Nico Pitney of the Huffington Post, who’s been liveblogging the Iranian protests from the start. The second question was asked of Scott McClellan five years ago by celebrated gigolo Jeff Gannon.

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Our recent post extolling the nutritional value of leftover DIGIORNO RISING CRUST THREE MEAT PIZZA for breakfast was in no way related to a promotional consideration provided by Kraft Foods Global, Inc., to My Dad’s Great Productions, publisher of Stinque.

Furthermore, our passing comment that our exclusive consumption of DIGIORNO RISING CRUST THREE MEAT PIZZA was making it difficult for us to squeeze into our LEVI’S REGULAR FIT 505 JEANS was not intended to fulfill our contractual obligation to Levi Strauss & Co., from whom we expect shortly a delivery via UNITED PARCEL SERVICE of America, Inc. Our subsequent digression that CLOROX BLEACH undoes WHAT BROWN DOES FOR US was not a signal to JOCKEY UNDERWEAR that we’re desperate for a fresh supply of tighty whities.

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We have rare occasion to read globetrotting poseur Thomas Friedman, and after his Sunday Times column, we’re discovering in ourselves an unwelcome inclination to scrape his chubby face across the nearest concrete edifice:

But now, having voted with their ballots, Iranians who want a change will have to vote again with their bodies. A regime like Iran’s can only be brought down or changed if enough Iranians vote as they did in 1979 — in the street. That is what the regime fears most, because then it either has to shoot its own people or cede power.

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Tehran is a half-day ahead of Stinque HQ in San Diego. By the time this is posted Friday morning, it will be late Friday afternoon there. The Supreme Leader will already have spoken. What he will say, and the consequences of what he says, are both unknowable at the time of writing.

So let’s take a look at something that’s been nagging us all week: Tehran is not eleven hours ahead of our time — it’s eleven and-a-half. Why?

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One of the most fascinating videos we watched yesterday was a brief moment from the Tehran streets. The marchers are deliberately quiet — no chanting — when suddenly you hear cries of “Basiji!” passing through the crowd.

And then everybody sits down.

The Basij are Iran’s “volunteer militia” — the shock troops responsible for most of the violence so far. And in the face of threat, the crowd displayed textbook nonviolent tactics — tactics few would have reason to know a week ago.

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We have to presume, absent notable developments to the contrary, that Iran’s rulers will emerge from this extraordinary moment with their power intact. They are, after all, following a familiar script: Declare a god-blessed landslide victory, throttle communications, label the opponents anti-revolutionary, arrest as many opposition leaders as you can, throw some hardware on the streets.

But their power, until now, has been maintained under a pretense of legitimacy. It may not be a government beloved by its people, but the millions voting in Friday’s election weren’t calling for an insurrection — they were calling for reform. And, until Friday night, they were confident it would happen, or at least be given a decent chance. This was not an angry election.

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