Our recent post extolling the nutritional value of leftover DIGIORNO RISING CRUST THREE MEAT PIZZA for breakfast was in no way related to a promotional consideration provided by Kraft Foods Global, Inc., to My Dad’s Great Productions, publisher of Stinque.
Furthermore, our passing comment that our exclusive consumption of DIGIORNO RISING CRUST THREE MEAT PIZZA was making it difficult for us to squeeze into our LEVI’S REGULAR FIT 505 JEANS was not intended to fulfill our contractual obligation to Levi Strauss & Co., from whom we expect shortly a delivery via UNITED PARCEL SERVICE of America, Inc. Our subsequent digression that CLOROX BLEACH undoes WHAT BROWN DOES FOR US was not a signal to JOCKEY UNDERWEAR that we’re desperate for a fresh supply of tighty whities.
The strain of dealing with these allegations has caused us to break many of our PAPERMATE WRITE BROS. PENS, which we use to compose our posts in longhand, requiring a special trip to the extraordinarily well-stocked STAPLES office-supply emporium in our sporty and fuel-efficient HONDA CIVIC, although we then remembered to stop at RALPHS SUPERMARKET to pick up some MEOW MIX BRAND CAT FOOD, along with more boxes of DIGIORNO RISING CRUST THREE MEAT PIZZA, which, contrary to the scurrilous IPHONE 3GS photos making the rounds, we actually paid for ourselves.
Using our convenient WELLS FARGO CHECK CARD, of course.
We hope this clears up any misunderstanding. We’d invite you to enjoy a delicious WIDMER HEFEWEIZEN with us, but the bastards have fallen behind in their payments.
FTC Cracks Down On Blogger Payola [ChannelWeb]
Bloggers needing money? Naaaaaaah!
I’m personally for full disclosure. Say up front that you’re a whore for Walmart or Microsoft. Sure I won’t believe anything you say, but at least be honest about it.
The only things I’d shill/whore for is Swiffer and anyone who makes a killer Corned Beef on Rye. Hint, hint.
TJ/ Ed McMahon dead. I know we pilloried him a bit on a recent post about the transformation of late night talk show television, but I think because of that transformation we need to at least acknowledge that he helped make Carson great.
That being said, my late maternal grandmother absolutely hated Ed for some reason, and would force me to turn the television off when he showed up.
ADD: My mother has that Reagan ad for Chesterfields framed and in her bedroom. Without a dash of irony, either.
Nabisco: The last time any of us saw Ed was during the Super Bowl, in which he appeared in an ad for Cash4Gold. Sad ending for the old man.
A sidebar of my own — Observed, this morning, in the entertainment section of the Trib: a story about the American Idol tryouts at the United Center, drawing 12,000 hopefuls including this unfortunate loser, who said… out loud…
I wouldn’t have come if God didn’t tell me to come. I’m trying to figure out why God wanted me here.
My guess is that The Big Fella wanted the woman there for the purpose of proving that asking for trivial favors from God doesn’t impress God all that much, really.
@chicago bureau: Sad ending for the old man. Apparently he was pretty strapped towards the end there. I guess he never won one of those huge ass checks from Publishers Clearinghouse.
Our paper led with a blurb about the Jon and Kate sillython. Almost locals, you know. Well, they’re also yammering on about something called the “Stanley Cup”, but I didn’t think there was competitive sailing in these parts.
Nabisco: Oh, that’s cold, bringing up the Cup. Shame.
(Notable in re — OK, Benedick, just for you — Oafs On Ice: Chris Chelios got released by the Wings. For those not up-to-date, don’t worry — neither is Chelios. Dude’s 47 freaking years old and still playing hockey. And he wants another season.)
We also had our rundown of Jon/Kate/divorce. Could someone please remind me why I should give a damn?
@chicago bureau: As we like to say around these parts: “Pittsburgh, City of Champions – and the Pirates”.
In re Sport and the woeful Bucs, these are the seasonal doldrums for me. I couldn’t care less about competitive golf, don’t follow tennis, and they don’t allow me close to the swim meets anymore (joke). But only a few more weeks until the few more weeks of the Tour de France!
Hey guys, sorry to stray off-topic, but I just wanted to let everyone know that briseniaflores.com, the website I set up to honor the memory of Brisenia Flores is now full featured, including a choice of Spanish and English splash screen, articles on Brisenia, a full news section and a discussion forum. Come check it out if you like, or let your friends know of it.
Serolf Divad: Well done.
(We would provide a standard-issue Stinque medal with oakleaf clusters, but given the shape of the medal, we just didn’t think it would be appropriate given the circumstances.)
One vote for a click-through link from me.
@Serolf Divad: “…sorry to stray off-topic…”
Honey, being a Stinquer means you never have to say I’m sorry for going off-topic.
@Serolf Divad: Bien hecho, Divad. I’ll shoot the link over to a local immigration group on Yahoo that is always looking for new resources.
One comment: I clicked through the page en español which is flawless and beautiful, but then it links back to the guts of the site which is only in English. Work in progress? That’s a lot of translating to do, give a holler if you need above mentioned group to help out.
@Serolf Divad: Excellent work. I’m emailing it around.
@chicago bureau: If God gave a shit about us, Brisenia and Neda would still be alive.
Yes the main news page is only in English. Not sure I can manage a bi-lingual site all by myself, just don’t have the time, and pretty much all the articles and sites linked to are in English anyway, so there wouldn’t be much point in having a parallel Spanish section there, too. In the end I suspect that if the forums take off I’ll have enough on my plate just policing that section and adding the occasional new story to the “current events” column.
@Serolf Divad: You’ve done a wonderful thing.
@Serolf Divad: I hope you’re not overwhelmed by whack job comments.
“Former Minutemen member held in killing” is now under the Latest News heading on CNN.com.
Well it’s about freaking time!
@mellbell: @Serolf Divad: Of course, they go out of their way to call her a “rogue” Minuteman, not like the other fine, upstanding, racist vigilantes in that organization. And their crack research team is blissfully unaware of the “Wayback Machine” as they can’t confirm that she listed the name and home address of a pro-immigrant activist on her webste, since it’s been taken down.
@Mistress Cynica: Ever since the advent of crack cocaine, the phrase “crack XYZ team” has taken on an entirely new meaning.
T/J: hey SFL, I see where your neighbor/Mayor lost no time sniffing around for an endorsement for gov from LA’s Mayor Zipperdown.
Other T/J: Hopey held a presser, “condemns” what is going on in Iran, tells Suzanne “le sigh” Malveaux that the video of Neda is “tragic”, reportedly loses his infamous cool on a question about when/where/how often he indulges his nic fix.
@Nabisco: He “condemns” it? Like, strong memo to follow?
Actually, I’m not sure what I would be doing about Iran if I were he. Except I would not be bombing it or doing some other dumbass thing that would unite the populace against us.
@Dodgerblue: The wags are making hay out of him using such “strong” language. You’re right, that’s a UN-esque action word along the lines of “RESOLVES to take soonest action on the sink in the men’s room on the 4th floor.”
He apparently dissed them a bit with a line something like “I know you guys are on a 24 hour news cycle….well, I’m not”.
@Dodgerblue: Haven’t seen the presser, but he still can’t be seen “supporting” the protests — the regime is already hauling out prisoners to blame the BBC for their actions. “Obama backs Mousavi” is a kiss of death.
@nojo: Why does the Iranian government have a jones for the Brits? After all, it was the US gov’t that had its fist up the Shah’s ass.
@Dodgerblue: Something to do with the post-WWI conference where they divvied up Mideast leftovers from the Ottomans. Americans are arrivistes.
Do those folks think he’s going act like John McCain?
If “diplomatic” “harsh” language is all he’s got then it’s all he’s got. It’s not so simple to just kick in the fucking door and start shooting. Otherwise the Middle East “democrazy” clusterfuck tour just gets another stop.
@Dodgerblue: Brits had something to do with
invading protecting Iran after WWII alongside the Soviets, I think. Oh, and BP (British Petroleum) may have been an early driller. That’s the best I can come up with.
@nojo: Have you read some of those “confessions”? “My son and I had hand grenades in our backs, I think because of what BBC and Voice of America told us”. If you believe that, I’ve got an oligarch who’s recently “fallen ill” for you to take into safekeeping.
ADD: @ManchuCandidate: Yeah, dude’s actually trying to act all statesman-like. We’re not used to that from a Preznit.
@Dodgerblue: They hate our freedom.
@Nabisco: It’s from the 20s, I think.
ADD: Which, come to think of it, is odd. It’s usually the Brits sniffing Yankee bum not the other way around.
@Nabisco: Read some “confessions” catching up on the news this morning.
Also, don’t know whether it’s properly official yet, but to nobody’s surprise, the Guardian Council is rubber-stamping the election. That leaves the Assembly of Experts with the only formal authority to replace Khamenei, and while Rafsanjani has apparently lined up 40 of 86 votes on his side, there’s still no indication the Revolutionary Guard would let it happen.
In short: This is gonna take awhile.
I’ll take Barry’s nic fits over Bubba’s Big Mac attacks anyday.
Ah, you are a gentleman and a scholar, my friend. Beautifully done.
@Benedick: Well, the Brits had bigger bums back then back when Ronnie Reagan was a boy and the Senate was dominated by old, white men whose idea of foreign affairs was a trip to Tijuana to see the donkey show.
@blogenfreude: I’ll have to watch the presser later — tone of delivery is very important here — but I just saw the clip of Obama taking a question from Nico at HuffPo, about whether the U.S. will recognize the current government.
Without directly answering it — which would be premature under the circumstances — Obama said that it’s clear a broad section of the Iranian public disputes the results, and that a government needs to be legitimate in the eyes of its people.
I think that’s an appropriate response from a U.S. President, knowing that shouting “Go Mousavi!” from the podium will likely have tragically counterproductive consequences. He has to hang back a step or two from the curve of events.
The alternative — which hasn’t been mentioned enough — is Bush I cheering on the Iraqi Kurds, but doing nothing when their rebellion was brutally crushed. Nobody wants to see that. Except neocons, of course.
@Dodgerblue: Back in 1901, I believe, the Shah of Iran, desperate for money, sold Iran’s oil to a British businessman in exchange for some cash, some stock in the guy’s company and 16% of the oil profits.
Then, in 1925 the British nationalized the guy’s oil company — Iran’s oil fields.
Between 1925 and 1965 (ish) the Iranian oil fields were the top producers in the world.
And then, of course, the British, Soviets and Americans screwed Iran over but good during and after WWII.
@Nabisco: My framed copy of that Reagan ad is definitely ironic.
But it was a second choice here, after I couldn’t find a decent screenshot of the Camel News Caravan.
(And for those of you keeping score, a Levi’s ad just found us.)
SANFRANLEFTY • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @ManchuCandidate: Bitch, March Madness is ON! xoxo
MELLBELL • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @nojo: I mooch Disney+ from my sister and HBO Max from my ex. Still need a Hulu hookup though!
MELLBELL • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @ManchuCandidate: As a veteran of last year's tournament, you were re-invited with one click, so…
MELLBELL • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @nojo: I'm just late, as ever. The play-in games started Tuesday, but we've got until tomorrow.…
NOJO • Software Update of the Year @bruce.desertrat: I have failed to get any work done since that dropped.
BRUCE.DESERTRAT • Software Update of the Year Disturbing my cow-orkers laughing at this....
NOJO • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @¡Andrew!: I tried RRR a few times at Benedick’s insistence, just couldn’t last. And now…
¡ANDREW! • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @nojo: I watched the clips on YouTube. Lady Gaga’s performance was extraordinarily honest and…
NOJO • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @ManchuCandidate: Oh gee, that starts tomorrow? Haven’t heard from Mellbell, so guess not.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @¡Andrew!: I passed on the Oscars. Enjoyed the movie.