This Could Be the End of the World… of Warcraft

“My mom just canceled my brother’s World of Warcraft account, and he’s freaking out.”

Now that GameFly commercial makes a lot more sense.

[via Sully]

I counted five intelligible phrases in all of that.

Imagine in 10 years or so when that kid’s employer finds this video. Yowza.

@IanJ: Another reason I’m thankful home video (and YouTube) didn’t exist when I was growing up. My younger brother has enough dirt on me as it is.

I’m reminded of Michael Steele.

Kid has a big future in the Republican party. I should think the offers are pouring in already. Among his other attributes he seems to have a natural affinity for closets. I don’t think any more need be said.

@Benedick: He’ll never get a date now. Man, woman, whatever.

“World of Warcraft” is #114 on Stuff Asian People like.

– this post is not sponsored by WOW, its makers, affiliates, agents or contractors; nor have I received any compensation, consideration, gifts, gratuities, or reimbursements for mentioning World of Warcraft. No endorsement, either express or implied, is intended by this post.

@Dodgerblue: “The air is electric” around Isotopes Park, where Manny Ramirez makes his minor league comeback tonight. A few tix are still left for this homestand through Thursday. Get your ass out here on Southwest.

– Ths post is brought to you by Ruger. Ruger, arms maker for responsible citizens.

@Benedick: Good point – kid looks like the entire GOP right now – one big fucking tantrum.

@Dodgerblue: The women among us are rolling their eyes and muttering “Men! Typical!”

@blogenfreude: And it shows no sign of ending any time soon.

It’s not like WOW is a shining beacon of studliness. Just makes a difficult task even worse, like the Jedi kid.

@redmanlaw: Good idea. These briefs will write themselves.

That’s it? If he was really freaking out, he should have dismembered the bed, bludgeoned the walls to dust with the bed posts and then climbed up on the ceiling and fucked the light socket while shrieking satanic curses in latin. Kid is either an amateur or the whole thing was a set up. Likely the latter.

@Dodgerblue: What, you don’t have a laptop? Giants day games are notorious for the crowds of Ess Eff attorneys and computer engineers working away while watching the game. Free Wi-Fi at the park. Maybe Isotope Park has wireless.

@FlyingChainSaw: Setup crossed my mind, but it’s too perfect — a professional actor couldn’t touch the timing, much less a kid making an effort at it. And both kids are highly unlikely to know about the classic screwball door-slamming comedies this invokes.

Besides, a remote up the arse? Fucking genius.

Finally saw it. OMFG.

@SanFranLefty: Jim Rome was giving ballpark readers and laptoppers a bunch of shit on the radio today.

I do that when my partner turns off my XBox 360, so I can relate.

@redmanlaw: Don’t understand WOW. Understand Sport.

Did Dylan play the Isotopes park either this year or two years ago? He does a great tour of minor league fields.

ADD: @JNOV takes a little english to doctor the spin: agreed. And hey, nice talking with you today, chica. Brightened my otherwise mundane lunch “hour”.

@Dodgerblue: Audio link to hear Manny play with the ‘Topes. Bats lead off bottom of first. Click audio then listen live (pop up will open)

@Nabisco: They played the pavillion where I’ve seen Nine Inch Nails, Linkin Park, Green Day, Ozzfest (Sabbath, Priest, Slayer, etc) and the Mayhem Fest, etc. The giant Terminator scene in the last movie was shot close by, The Spirit was shot at a nearby soundstage.

@Nabisco: You, too! Still don’t have my question answered. Working on annoying the Mormons right now, but I’ll grab the Int’l RC number before I go to work tomorrow.

@Nabisco: WOW is alright, I played it for awhile a few years back (I’d say “back when it was cool” but it was never cool). It suffers from the same curse all online RPGs bring which is when you look up and realize you just spent three hours making virtual shirts, and you’re basically paying to work a second job.

@drinkyclown: Jr says, “Pretty much. And that’s why he thinks Warcraft III is superior.” I had not idea he played. Kids!

Now he’s babbling about some War Hammer 40K miliondy billiondy…my brain has shut down.

@JNOV takes a little english to doctor the spin: Haha at least he’s (probably) just into the computer version of Warhammer, it used to be a tabletop game involving a thousand tiny pewter figurines you had to hand-paint.

But seriously, are benedick and Jnov the only others who see, its faked, staged, its too perfect, the intro, just in time for the “cameraman” to sneak out the door? The kid has probably developed a reputation for some of his tantrums, especially that moaning wailing sound he makes, and his brother and he decided to have him play it up for the camera.

I have “fakedar.” Its like gaydar, I can tell when someone is playing me, or playing anyone. I can tell when someone is acting as they think they should act, as opposed to simply unselfconsciously being. When someone is imitating the cultural references they think relevant to their current situation, as opposed to just being in the moment.

Its not really being dishonest, but it is a difference, when someone is acting as they think they should in the situation, as opposed to simply reacting naturally.

@nojo: Sure he tapped himself with the remote. If he really meant it, he’d have drawn blood fucking himself in the ass, grabbed the kid, his brother presumably, and bashed his head off of the floor and made him eat the shit off of the remote while kneeling on his balls and then finished up with a face-biting show-down with the local cops, ending with him being tazed senseless and his legs being broken with riot batons. This is all staged. He left his boxers on? C’mon. No blood? Clue. No cops? No parent in a shrieking gun battle in the bed room. It’s either fake or filmed in fucking Norway.

@drinkyclown: Oh, they have the drunk dice, too. They used the computer for “reference.”

@Promnight: Because it isn’t real doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s fake. He seems to be able to believe what is happening while it is happening. The fact that he’s willing to push a minor irritation into a global meltdown plus his slash-and-burn tactics shows an innate talent for gaming congress. Also he seems to have a budding interest in butt secks (remote up bum) which, coupled with the closet business, will stand him in good stead through the years to come. Plus he’s wearing what would appear to be the official Republican sleeping attire as pioneered by Preznit Bunnypants. In fact those are the very bunnypants. I know he’s but a slender boy but in time, and with enough lobbyist bucks under his belt, he’ll develop the Republican meatface we’ve all come to love. He just needs to learn everyone’s favorite phrase, “Mr Gorbachov, tear down that wall,” and he’ll be set.

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