As of 8:47 a.m. Eastern, Barack Obama will have kept us safe longer than George W. Bush and Dick Cheney.

Cheney: ‘I’m Very Proud of What We Did’ [WaPo, August 30]

All the Vice President’s Men [Stinque]

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If we read the colonic bag correctly, the “public option” is dead. Even if it passes the House, it won’t survive the conference committee. Instead, some future public plan will be “triggered” if certain standards aren’t met after a suitably long period of time.

Long enough, that is, for those standards to be suitably weakened. Or for whatever public option eventually emerges to be suitably hobbled.

None of which matters, since it has no more basis in reality than a campaign promise. Much like the promise that led us to hope something worthwhile might be accomplished this year.

Instead, the immediate, practical question is this: How much will the healthcare “reform” fuck us over?

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Poor Ben Alexander. A World of Warcraft enthusiast, he had to drop out of the University of Iowa after spending “16 or 17 hours a day” playing online, instead of, you know, studying. Or attending classes. Or taking tests. “School wasn’t interesting,” he says.

But Ben found help — at ReSTART, a “residential treatment center for Internet addiction” near Seattle. Now instead of blowing away opponents or otherwise obsessively indulging in “pathological computer use,” Ben is baking cookies.

Good for Ben! Free at last from oppressive MMORPGs! And all for the low, low price of only $14,000 for a 45-day stay. But no cheating — “Internet addiction” isn’t an official shrink-wrapped disorder, so insurance doesn’t cover treatment.

Poor Ben’s parents.

Internet addiction center opens in Fall City [Seattle P-I]

Here, enjoy some Boohbahs. And please ignore the melting Arctic.

From Florida this week comes news of what should be an instant urban legend:

An FDA test shows that either a frog or a toad was in a Florida man’s soda can. The Food and Drug Administration test confirmed that the remains of an animal were in Fred Denegri’s can of Diet Pepsi. Denegri popped the can open July 23 as he was grilling dinner outdoors in Ormond Beach.

Imagine: Desperately anticipating cool refreshment after being parched for ages, only to discover that not only does what you selected not quench your thirst, but it makes you feel kind of sick.

House Progressives and the White House on a Collision Course Over Public Option [TPM]

Trying to determine when Glenn Beck jumps the shark is an exercise in futility, since his entire show is a crowd-pleasing demonstration of aquatic gymnastics. Instead, we find ourselves wondering whether at any given moment he’s going to peel off his chubby face and reveal Sacha Baron Cohen underneath. Or Andy Kaufman.

Moments such as Wednesday, when he advocated bringing back DDT.

Now wait — before you reach for the thalidomide, hear him out:

Any harmful link to humans from DDT has never been found. Bruce N. Ames, a world renowned biochemist and professor of molecular biology, and Thomas H. Jukes, professor of biophysics and a foremost expert on DDT, from the University of California at Berkeley — yes, that “right-wing kook tank” U.C. Berkeley — said of the attack on DDT: “This is nonsense.”

And if you’re wondering where the hell he’s getting that from — turns out the American Enterprise Institute published a paper lauding DDT in 2007.

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