https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUhCPADhuCs

Although the news has been, um, out for a week, it took gay-fearing WND to bring it to our attention:

A popular role-playing combat video game featuring graphic homosexual sex between a man and an elf has hit store shelves just in time for Christmas…

The video cuts to a scene in which the two men are dirty, naked and kissing. They are depicted in various homosexual sex positions, and the clip concludes with the two nestling together and gazing into one another’s eyes.

We presume the creators of “Dragon Age: Origins” are just trying to keep up with the market, given that there must be tons of man/elf slashfic by now featuring Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom. But we’ll let WND do the research.

Players have dirty ‘gay’ sex in hit game [WND]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Is-e1FX8-D4

Readings and Resources for Planning Your Black Friday [NYT]

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: New mega balloons get set to soar [Daily News]

There are too many sharpshooters picking off balloons in Sarah Palin’s parade of a book for us to celebrate every one, but we’ll make an exception for a dude from Alaska you’ve never heard about:

Former Gov. Sarah Palin’s book, “Going Rogue,” blames her first legislative director for moves early in her term that helped poison her relationship with state lawmakers. But the ex-aide, John Bitney, calls Palin’s account a fabrication and said he wishes his former boss would leave him alone.

“I’m just pilloried right and left and turned into the big bad wolf here for stuff I didn’t do,” said Bitney, who is now an aide to Valdez Republican Rep. John Harris. “It’s like I’m this fictional character that she’s decided to make me out to be this sort of incompetent slob.”

Why do we like it so? Let us count the ways.

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11. Wide stances must be at least 24 inches.

12. The Constitution shall be strictly adhered to, except for the quaint parts.

13. That government is best which governs for the least.

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The UK Literary Review’s shortlist for the annual Bad Sex in Fiction award is out, and what better way to start the week than some lame fucking? The winning loser will be announced November 30 and receive a plaster foot. Which, we imagine, fits perfectly in the Stinque Award’s Crystal Shoe.

• “I came suddenly, a jolt that emptied my head like a spoon scraping the inside of a soft-boiled egg.” (Jonathan Littell, The Kindly Ones)
• “She took my head in both hands and guided it downward, between her fragrant thighs. ‘Yoni puja — pray, pray at my portal.'” (Paul Theroux, A Dead Hand: A Crime in Calcutta)
• “The green cock plunged in and out of the abundant naked body sprawled beneath it, slow at first, then faster and harder, then harder still, and all of Tracy’s curves and hollows moved in unison with it. This was not soft porn.” (Philip Roth, The Humbling)

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IBM said it has already simulated a cat-sized cerebral cortex — the area of the brain that’s key to memory, attention, and consciousness — using a massive Blue Gene supercomputer at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California.

• Sleeps 22 hours a day
• Refuses commands
• Rejects mouse

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