[Des Moines Register]

So there’s this great new show we’ve been watching, which we think is an SNL spinoff starring a bunch of clever improv comedians as Republican Presidential candidates. In the last episode — get this — one of the fake candidates (Kristen Wiig in a fright wig, we think) accused another (Will Ferrell? Hard to tell) of deliberately infecting Little Girls with STDs and making them retarded, while the “studio audience” whooped and hollered at the thought of a sick young adult being ignored by doctors because he’s uninsured.

We’d swear Michael O’Donoghue is behind it, but he’s dead.

The next episode of the GOP Debate Open Thread/Performance Art Showcase begins in a few minutes. Let’s have a watch party before it’s canceled!

After Rick Perry famously declared Social Security a Fonzie Scheme, we couldn’t help but agree — Social Security is a broken jukebox that we’ve been kicking for years, but for the younger kids coming into the malt shop, sooner or later, it’s not gonna work.

Hold on. Richie Cunningham is elbowing us in the ribs.

Ponzi Scheme? Oh. Right.

Well, since our premise has completely collapsed, there’s nothing left but to cut to commercial welcome you to Yet Another GOP Debate Open Thread/Shark Jump. Be nice, or we’ll disappear you faster than Richie’s older brother.

Now that our main character is finally hopping on board, it’s time to stab him in the back. But who will shove the shiv? Crazy Eyes? Mittens? Little Jon Huntsman?

All of them?!!!

Grab your popcorn for tonight’s All-Star Shitfest, as we shovel coal into our GOP Debate Open Thread/Closed Minds. We promise it’s the most fun you’ll have violating the Eleventh Commandment… until the next Republican debate.

“Imagine, not having to pay NJ state income taxes… It must be nice. Imagine getting a court ruling overturned so your name could get put on the ballot. Imagine having dark skin and name recognition and the nerve to think that equalled (sic) knowing something about politics. Sure, knowing someone with fat purse strings is nice, but you have no knowledge.” Republican Assemblyman Pat Delany “abruptly resigned last month” after the missus pressed Send. [Politicker NJ, via Political Wire]

“At that point, all five leaders shook hands and retreated into the Oval Office. It was exactly 9:29 a.m. One minute later, the New York Stock Exchange opened. The Dow was up 1,223 points at the open — an all-time record.” [NYT]

Our guest columnist is Christopher Guerrero of the California Democratic Party.

For years, Democrats in California ceded inland areas of the state to the Republican Party.

That ends today as we take the fight into one of the GOP’s final remaining strongholds in California: the Inland Empire.

Right now, the CDP is partnering with Democrats in the Inland Empire to run the first coordinated voter registration drive in San Bernardino and Riverside counties, and we are starting to see results.

People are coming up to our volunteers and thanking them or telling them that they didn’t even realize what they believed in made them a Democrat.

California Democrats need to stand together and offer encouragement. If you have a story about turning one of your Republican family members into a Democrat or helping your area turn Democratic (or even just a little “bluer”), please share it today so we can all see that It Gets Bluer.

Share your story of how it got bluer for you at ItGetsBluer.com now.

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