Murder on the Disorient Express

Now that our main character is finally hopping on board, it’s time to stab him in the back. But who will shove the shiv? Crazy Eyes? Mittens? Little Jon Huntsman?

All of them?!!!

Grab your popcorn for tonight’s All-Star Shitfest, as we shovel coal into our GOP Debate Open Thread/Closed Minds. We promise it’s the most fun you’ll have violating the Eleventh Commandment… until the next Republican debate.


Local cable has an ad for Blue Man Group. Maybe that should have been my second choice.

Here is a linque to the debate.

Apologies to the ladies and gentlemen of delicate sensibility for linking to such a vile purveyor of smut and cryptopornography.

The debaters are standing at the Reagan Library behind Air Force One. Fire afterburners!

I’m missing the first few minutes. Something tells me I’m crazy like a fox for staying at work late.

Tonight’s Hair-Off: Romney, Perry, and Brian Williams.

Just Perry and Romney so far. Zzzzzzzzz.

Romney is quicker on his feet than I would have expected.

Snap! Snap!

Perry: Dukakis created more jobs than you, Mitt.

Romney: Shrub created more jobs than you, Ricky.

@mellbell: As others will note, Mittens spent the first few debates running against Barry. Now he’s running against Rick.

Tonight’s drinking game: “Entrepreneurs”.

Haha, santorum is a douchebag, right out the gate. STFU, Rick, I know of homeless people with a better shot at the Presidency than you.

@nojo: Romney subbing “enterprise” for, say, “business” or “company” didn’t exactly fly under the radar.

Huntsman: I speak Chinese! (Unspoken: “Comrade”.)

Ron is going the Full Paultard, arguing for privatizing air-traffic control and auto safety.

Newt: “Obama stagnation”. You have to be AARP-qualified to get that reference.

I’m in Lefty’s favorite city, Excremento, tuning in now.

Control room: “Hey, could you get another crane shot below the wing? Great!”

“Sir, it’s pretty hard to defend dead last”


Huntsman is making a strong showing in the Hair-Off.

Oooh, now Michelle is an expert on the political process.

Yay! We’re a team as long as none of you other fuckers gets in my way!

@nojo: Unless you count the Cameron Diaz hair product that Crazee Eyez appears to have put on.

/tuning in from the remote office in ONC. Floods at home have left my basement with enough water to put out the fires in Bastrop – for a fee, Guvnor/

“Senator Santorum” has such a squishy sound to it.

Shorter Rick: “Santorum was all over the poor for twelve years”.

Handlers to Rick Perry: “Find the camera! Find the camera!”

Just walked in. Santorum said he’s a good Catholic and demonstrated this by… welfare reform.

Yep. Didn’t miss a thing.

Note to Rick: We don’t call white people “Anglos” in the other forty-nine states.

Offshore drilling from Mittens. Yeah. Drilling off Virginia would have been a disaster-waiting-to-happen last month.

All this gas-price talk, and nobody mentions China and India.

Note to Nojo: Pareene’s LiveTweets are golden. Are we “Old Media”?

Silver reference = gold standard = DRINK!

Paul: gallon of gas for a silver dime :: Ford : no Russian control of Eastern Europe.


I can’t bring myself to watch those assholes at all. Watching some rednecks rebuild a Finnish 20 mm anti-tank rifle on the Discovery channel instead.

@Nabisco: Quite honestly, if I didn’t run a blog, I’d be trying to give @pourmecoffee a run for his money.

@redmanlaw: Oh, but the assholes are fun! Perry zings Paul about leaving the GOP because of Reagan. Paul zings back that Reagan’s record wasn’t up to Reagan’s ideals.

Here in Illinois, I got an ad about limiting legal immigration to (somehow) help California. Odd, in several ways.

@redmanlaw: I’m a hundred pages into Ian Frazer’s book about Siberia, and may well return to it if no punches are thrown.

@Nabisco: Also: Pareene’s work at Salon is fucking outstanding. So he also does Somewhat Old Media.

@chicago bureau: But who will wash my car and trim my shrubs?

MSNBC is running the Obligatory College Halftime Promo.

Was that Sinatra snippet a wink to the rumors of Nancy’s time with Frank?

@nojo: Knock yourself out – leave this thread to the commoners.

Rick Perry: I’m not here to talk about the past. Paging Mark McGuire.

Romney: Social Security funding is a mess, but Congress uses it as a piggy bank. You can’t raid an empty piggy bank.

Perry doubling-down on “ponzi scheme,” and defending provocative language.

Cain follows this advice, citing Chile of 30 years ago as a model. Yeah. The same Chile.

@Nabisco: Can’t divide my time between Twitter and a blog. I’m here, I’m drinking beer, get used to it.

Now they want to nix mandatory vaccination of kids. (Yeah, yeah. It’s in re HPV, which relates to sexytime. But they are calling vaccinations a violation of parental rights.)

Fuck these fucking fuckers.

@chicago bureau: And doubling down on the HPV vaccine. I’m surprised.

I thought about watching, but just reading the liveblogging here and at ThinkProgress, I don’t think my fragile nerves could handle actually hearing these people.

Hey RickS: we take our differences between tight ends and wide receivers seriously in PA. Get it right next time, jagoff.

Newt goes the Full Strangelove: We can survive three simultaneous nukes!

@karen marie has her eyes tight shut: The usual bullshit. Requires a fact-check for each and every clause.

Paul: Cut the air-conditioning for Iraq troops, give it to FEMA.

Jeez, I’m glad I never had to work for this guy as an Ambassador…

Boy, Huntsman is clueless. “I ran Utah with something approaching competence.” Who cares about competence?

@nojo: Oh, I don’t know. Given it’s a Republican debate, I think one is pretty safe in assuming that anything asserted as a fact is a distortion or outright fabrication.

Newt: how would you fund those federal Pell grants?

ADD: Perry: I”m for Predator drones in US airspace!

Mitt: We need more regulations on employers to stop those Illegals!

@chicago bureau:

I doubt Cain’s the only one that thinks that Chile’s RW military dictatorship was a great thing – he’s probably the only one uncoached enough to let his boner show in public, tho.

Boy. Gingrich up and said we can’t deport everybody. Everybody since has been tapdancing around amnesty.

Bachmann: I’ve listened to Cuban-Americans about immigration reform.

I don’t pay attention, but I’m guessing Cubans don’t speak for Latinos.

@al2o3cr: To be fair, I think Cain was actually talking about how the pension system has improved since then. But Chile still has a freaking awesome social safety net – I’ll take it.

Ron Paul: The border fence would keep us in.

Well, that’s, uh, novel.

I’m not hearing a breakout candidate. And Rick’s not coming off like a dumbfuck.

@nojo: I think you just answered your own question.

Perry: “Balanced Budget Amendment.” NEXT!

@nojo: Well, come on — I’d look like a fucking genius in that crowd!

Bachmann tossed on trash heap of history. Can she please take that hairdo with her. Why do the men look so rich? They are rich looking men. I would personally pay money to run my fingers through Huntsman’s hair. And his tan is so Nice. Gingrich brings the heat as Paul chases kids off his lawn. End of both ‘careers’. Mittens brings reasonableness and tall bland richness. Frothy Mix brings passion as the black person makes everyone uncomfortable.

@mellbell: @karen marie has her eyes tight shut: I’m listening for that Oh my fucking gawd we’re going to elect that bozo moment — the one I felt during the Reagan-Carter debate.

Happily, I’m not hearing it.

Perry: “Keynesian policy and Keynesian theory is done.”

If you mean, not even fucking attempted, then yes.

But props for dropping Keynes.

@nojo: Perry is leading in the polls and none of these clowns is getting the jump on him. Be very afraid.

I’m going to dinner with a tall redhead. Sadly, not Flippin.

Bachmann: “I sit on the House Intelligence Committee. We deal with the nation’s classified secrets.”

Pleasant dreams!

@Nojo: things have to jell before we can start having such dark thoughts. There’s nothing jelled about this yet.

Hell: Ron Paul could still, theoretically, win. Waaaaaay too early.

ADD to @nojo in re Bachmann, intelligence: NO KIDDING.

@mellbell: Afraid? I’m hoping he’s the nominee.

Shorter Huntsman: I am toast.

Longer Huntsman: You can’t argue with climate change and evolution.

Huntsman GOES THERE on evolution. And climate change. He’s just adorable.

Perry: “Galileo got outvoted for a spell.”

By the ancestors of today’s GOP.

@nojo: Agreed. His stance on Social Security alone will doom him.

Did Perry really just compare climate change denialism to heliocentrism?

“Galileo got outvoted for a while.”

If Rick Perry gets elected, the schools in DC will get worse, just because of the black hole of knowledge in the vicinity of Perry’s head.

Chile: Good. Spain: Bad.

In case you’re keeping score.

@Dodgerblue: If Perry wins the nomination, I’m buying the book. Should provide months of entertainment.

Mittens: Taxes support the troops! What are you, a socialist?

The Tragedy of Half-Measures: They’re used as arguments against the real thing.

LOVE the applause at Perry’s execution record. Yikes.

ADD: snaps to Brian Williams for picking up that ball. Which Perry carries for a one-yard gain.

Who here recently quoted the comment that Rick Perry has the balls to execute innocent people?

And now, Rachel Maddow to mix you some post-debate drinks, with some post-debate blowhards.

Hopefully, Huntsman will come with an ad saying how non-crazy he is. Just for the sheer fuck-em-all nature of this.

And Chris Matthews is ripping Perry a new one. Good for him.

Honestly: after Bachmann’s perf tonight, along with Perry’s now-radioactive status? I’m thinking that Sarah Plain and Dumb, if she wants it bad enough, will jump right in.

@chicago bureau: Oh. Please. God. Yes.

But Palin’s not jumping in, and even Erick Erickson is shoving her away. Perry’s the man for the Teabagger Moment, and as long as Teabaggers run the show, he’s the star.

In other news, Lawrence O’Donnell is clueless.

@chicago bureau:
Torture and Free Market Reform of War Criminal Pinochet?

The real joke is that Chile actually got better when Pinochet did not have a choice as the Chilean economy stagnated under “free market” reforms and he had to go socialist.

@chicago bureau: She’ll never do it. She’s not too smart but I think she’s smart enough to see the writing on the wall.

Political Wire: After tonight, Obama wants to run against Perry. I can see the debate now – “I agree with Governor Perry.”

Obama’s “New Bipartisanship” will be him giving up his platform and adopting Perry’s.

Y’all lost me. I have puppies. Puppies trump politics.

@Dodger: Awwww… <3 Soon! I was just telling Lefty that I'm overdue for a visit to the Left Coast.

@flippin eck: Oh good. We have good beer here, y’know.

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