The socialist running dogs at Wells Fargo, a bastion of communist heresy that has so far taken $25 billion from American taxpayers, is rethinking its annual Las Vegas orgy, a rite of passage for bank mortgage originators who look forward to the event to get sex they don’t have to pay (directly) for, after Stinque.com beat the fuck out of Bank of America for throwing away money on its SuperBowl midget-fucking and baby-barbequing bacchanalia last week in Tampa.

Read more »

This is going to leave a mark:

California, the eighth largest economy in the world, is broke.

“People are going to be hurt starting today,” said Hallye Jordan, speaking on behalf of the state Controller. “There’s no money.”

Ahhnold terminated deh economee.

Read more »

I know you’re just dying to know what’s causing me to melt down this week, so without further ado:

1. Karaoke – it has never been a passion of mine to hear bad music sung by people with less talent than the untalented original artist. Cf. Billy Joel. But now it’s getting silly:

In August 2007, a Seattle man was assaulted onstage during a karaoke rendition of Coldplay’s “Yellow,” while last December, a San Diego man encored his karaoke set by walking toward the crowd and attacking an audience member. And in Asia, there’s been a string of karaoke-bar stabbings and shootings, including a horrific incident in Bangkok in which eight amateur singers were murdered by their neighbor, reportedly due in part to his hatred of John Denver’s “Country Roads.”

While I have never been driven to a murderous rage by a John Denver song, I can understand this man’s actions.  Someone once got out a CD and tried to show me how John Tesh wasn’t as bad as I’d made him out to be.  It was all I could do not to deck him.

Read more »

You thought 43 was responsible for all the looting and pillaging?  Not so fast – look what 41 inflicted on my beloved state of New York:

An appointee of President George H. W. Bush who was the first woman and first Hispanic to serve as surgeon general, Dr. [Antonia C.] Novello was praised even by the Clinton administration for her “vigor and talent” and promised to bring new attention to pediatric health.

But the New York State inspector general’s office says that she turned her staff at the Health Department into her personal chauffeurs, porters and shopping assistants during her seven-year tenure, and has referred a criminal case, including potential felony charges, to the Albany County district attorney.

Where does the Bush family find these people?

Read more »

Another day, another outrage.  Today I’m having trouble picking just one, so let’s make a list:

1. Billy Joel – I have long held that he is deeply, bathetically awful.  Nice to see someone other than Joe Queenan agrees with me.  Just a snippet:

This must be prevented! No career re-evaluations please! No false contrarian rehabilitations! He was terrible, he is terrible, he always will be terrible. Anodyne, sappy, superficial, derivative, fraudulently rebellious. Joel’s famous song “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me”? Please. It never was rock ‘n’ roll. Billy Joel’s music elevates self-aggrandizing self-pity and contempt for others into its own new and awful genre: “Mock-Rock.”

The other five are after the jump.

Read more »

I tried, but the snark won’t come today.  Is it relief that the country is not run by sociopaths anymore?  Dunno.  So I will post this video of Bill O’Reilly bloviating about Jessica Alba.

The PUMA’s heads are going to explode:

During the taping of the Oprah Winfrey show today, Dr. Jill Biden said that her husband, the vice president-elect, was given a choice of being either vice president or secretary of State.

This revelation came after Vice President-elect Joe Biden told Oprah that after then-Sen. Obama offered the job of VP he asked for some time to think about it and talk it over with his family.

This is going to be fun. Bill Clinton is going to have to hold his tongue something fierce.

Jill Biden Tells Oprah Her Hubbie Offered Choice of VP or Secy of State [ABC News]

UPDATED: below

Read more »