Neonazi Nuke Laboratory in Belfast, Maine

James Cummings, a conservative-values voter and trust fund neonazi was wasted by his wife on December 9, apparently before he assembled a dirty nuke to begin his personal campaign to take back America from the communist takeover in November, disappointing but not dissuading the psychoconservative right that is bent on either restoring the theocratic dystopia the founding fathers intended or laying the nation to waste.

Cummings, apparently an abusive Hitler-loving conservative enjoyed tearing into his cowering wife, Amber, often while wearing a cowboy hat and a nifty, goth trench coat. Amber, not so keen on Republican politics and homelife conventions, got the fucking gun and blew Cummings the fuck away before she and her 9-year old daughter would have to spend enough Christmas with him. When the local cops got into the building, they found this conservative hero had stored enough radioactive materials to build a dirty bomb [Pg 11].

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Watch a bunch of Suzuki Swifts play ice hockey, courtesy of those loons at Top Gear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GH0FQN1MQqQ

Kelloggs won’t renew its deal with Michael Phelps because he took a bong hit?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Does Kelloggs have any fucking idea how many millions of boxes of Sugar Pops and Sugar Smacks (the real names for that shit) stoned people have eaten late at night?  Do they?

Stupid useless fucks.  Fuck them.  I’ll never eat Special K again.

And Tony the Tiger?  He’s nothing to me.

Too much to be outraged about today, so take your pick:

1) War criminal Andy Card says Bam is disrespecting the Constitution because he doesn’t always wear a jacket in the Oval Office.

2) Ted Haggard’s church conquest was on the radio talking about our favorite hypocrite – turns out he had a serious drug problem and a wife who worked him with a dildo (Ted Two). Audio available.

3) McCain operative a kid toucher?  Say it isn’t so!

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Via D-Listed (audio NSFW):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbz6-7c_7Hk

First it was silly putty, then it was balls, and now the Red State Strike Force is in formation to stop our socialist president from destroying America:

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The socialist running dogs at Wells Fargo, a bastion of communist heresy that has so far taken $25 billion from American taxpayers, is rethinking its annual Las Vegas orgy, a rite of passage for bank mortgage originators who look forward to the event to get sex they don’t have to pay (directly) for, after Stinque.com beat the fuck out of Bank of America for throwing away money on its SuperBowl midget-fucking and baby-barbequing bacchanalia last week in Tampa.

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