Wells Fargo Rethinks Annual Las Vegas Orgy After Stinque.com Pummels BofA

In what sense “worth hating”? Is the fecal worm “worth hating”? Hantavirus? Plague Rat? All these things are beneath my notice, and yet I abhor them as it is my place in nature to do so.

I feel the same about Wells Fargo Executives. All executives, incidentally.

Great, they buy my bank and now the orgy’s been called off. Figures.

Chainsaw, marry me?

JR and I especially like this part:

One mortgage writer told a friend of a friend, “Up until last year Wells Fargo got me laid, drunk and fed me great baby barbeque for writing mortgages for unemployed speculators, straw investors and money launderers. This year, they say they’re looking at getting homeless people to blow us in the parking lot of the VFW in San Bernadino near the railway yards and set out a couple of kegs. This just isn’t the America I grew up in!”

@nabisco: I saw on another thread that you have a shitton of Scrapple left. I love me some Scrapple. How do you make it? I cut 1/4″ slices, lightly flour them and fry them in oil.

GODAMMIT! What’s the code for block quoting? Quick before I run out of time to edit the above.

@JNOV: Blockquote, one word.

@mellbell: You are teh awesome and a superhero! Many thanks!

I let my kid have my vote for the Limbaugh Demise poll, and, sadly, his choice is in last place, but he thinks the baby eating scenario is the most plausible, and he stands by his decision. We did have a teachable moment where I got to explain to him what pederasty is.

Is that photo from that Japanese fuck-a-thon they held a few years ago? Apparently the Japanese aren’t making enough new Japanese.

@blogenfreude: Same goes for most Europeans. I was toying with getting a doctorate in demography at one point (my recall is rusty, and my data is old), but so many couples are opting to have singletons or no kiddos that many countries are not at replacement rates.

@JNOV: I saw something the other day – said Japanese companies are sending their employees home early a couple times a week so they can make sexy time.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: They are just inside the standard of hatibility of a plague rat. But only just.

@JNOV: Gosh, you let you child read this stuff? This is bank orgy material, the most obscene prose you can imagine. Is he OK? When in Scranton, I always look forward to the eggs and scrapple. Now if I could only find a diner there that would serve my favorite Scranton breakfast and Yeunglings on draft. . .

@blogenfreude: Apparently, and it is very popular. I typed ‘orgy’ into Google images and it was in the first page of citations and looked so close to a bank orgy that I sensed that even those who have attended one would never note the difference.

@blogenfreude: Haha! Borat! Yes, I read something about the knocking boots initiative as well.

@FlyingChainSaw: Dude, he’s 19, and I’ve raised him alone since he was two. When he was 13 years old, we were moving the couch so he could vacuum, and we found one of my brother’s unused condoms. I was like, well, time to demystify this whole condom thing:

Me: Do you know what this is?

Jr: Is it a condom?

Me: Yup. Go ahead and open it up. Okay, hold up your index finger. See how it only rolls down one way? You always wanna make sure you put it on the right way so it rolls down properly. And see that funny looking space on the end? That’s supposed to be there; don’t stretch that out. Just leave it hanging out there looking stupid.

True story. I was like, I can pretend the condom doesn’t exist and send him the signal that we can’t talk about the practicalities of safe sex, or I can just grab the bull by the horns and deal with it. I mean, if you can handle a condom in front of your mom, fiddling with one with a partner is no big deal.

Ahhhh…Yuengling! My fave local (to SF) brew is Anchor Steam. They have a beer tasting tour you can take, and the port is divine!

ADD: Oh, and the condom was RED!

Found it – the Japanese record-setting orgy.

@FlyingChainSaw: I think I took you too literally at first. Yes, he has been traumatized by the bank orgy epidemic, by their putting it all out there on display, and he is incensed.

@blogenfreude: Wow, good call. Hey, does that even count as an orgy? It seems more like …simultaneous fucking? I guess I’ve always personally defined orgy as everyone on everyone.

@blogenfreude: Heh. But were they trying to make teh behbehs, or were they trying to make the Guinness Book?

@JNOV: Can’t it be both?

@drinkyclown: There’s an assembly line feel to it rather than a swinging switcheroo fucking with abandon type of vibe.

@drinkyclown: Fer sher, but it just seemed kinda clinical I guess. (I am revealing my inner Promnight.)

@JNOV: Exactly! I don’t think it even qualifies as porn, it’s more like some demented sex-ed video or something.

/TJ I am sooooo pissed! My TiVo’s wireless connection has been on the fritz, and I missed Nova tonight. I have a second generation TiVo with a lifetime service package, so there is no way I’m not getting it fixed. But my main goal right now is to keep the lights and interttubez going, well, and that whole shelter and food thing, too, but I’m so reliant on TiVo recording my shows that I am all out of sorts now. I don’t know what channels my shows are on let alone what time they’re played. I am truly fucked. I can live with eating shoe soup as long as I’ve got my TiVo. I don’t have a land line, so my TiVo can’t talk to the service over the phone line. It really feels like my life is ruined.

@drinkyclown: Yeah, certainly not titillating. Maybe if they had some leopard print mattresses instead of those white ones. A disco ball and some boomchickaboom music might help. And toys!

@drinkyclown: That’s my question – it’s sex in a group, but is it group sex, an orgy?
@JNOV: Japanese assembly line sex can be fun.

@JNOV: You can probably watch that NOVA episode on the PBS website – they’re pretty good at posting content.

@blogenfreude: True, true! I’d forgotten about that. I am saved! Thank you!

@blogenfreude: And you know this how? ;-P

@blogenfreude: I find the picture, and the concept, delightful. No, its clearly not an orgy, but it is people gathered together to engage in a delightful activity, and the vibe that creates must be great. In a sane society, that should be the scene that erupts naturally on the first perfect day of spring, in every park. Not an orgy, just everyone doing something wonderful. What a delightful domino effect would happen, it certainly makes it easier to suggest some sunshiney shagging when the couple next to you start. “Grab your partner, do si do, get her lubed up with some oral, ya know, when your both quivering like a shaking reed, consummation, thats what you need.” There should be a square dance caller. “now flip over and trade positions, woman on top brings deep fruition.”

@JNOV: Not sure if my girlfriend reads this blog, so I’d better not say.

@Promnight: Hahahahahahahahahaha! Fabulous!

@blogenfreude: Prudent, indeed.

@Promnight: You have quite a future as an orgy caller.

@JNOV: NOVA ain’t what it used to be, but then again, nothing is. Earlier today, I tried to compliment FCS by comparing him to HST, but you know, even as I did so, I knew, HST was not as good as I remembered, he was appealing to an undergraduate, but not that great. FCS is much better.

@Mistress Cynica: NOT an orgy caller, orgies are icky (if you are in an exclusive relationship), I want to be a fuck-a-thon caller.

@Promnight: Check out Alfred McCoy’s Politics of Heroin in Southeast Asia. That is contemporary journalism. It is the real deal.

@Promnight: So you want to be the voice of this sort of thing.

@blogenfreude: What would you even say, besides “Next” ? I guess you could have an intro for each new guy, it’d be like sports where each guy has his own theme song and he comes running out, high-fiving everyone along the way. Hey, for all I know, straight porn is like that.The only straight porno I’ve seen was Deepthroat, which was fucking hilarious, I love that movie.

@FlyingChainSaw: I stopped reading contemporary political investigative journalism after Bush was elected, because, since 9-11, there is only one subject worth reporting, and thats the detailed and systematic history of that occurrence, and its not happening, there is nothing out there, yes, there are really good people chasing down small parts of the story, but where is the big picture, the deep story story, on this, the only story worth investigating, until it has finally been investigated?

I think the book by the french guy, which went into some detail of what was going on in Afghanistan, we were pushing for the right to build a pipeline for natural gas from Kazakstan, to lead eventually to India and the big plant Enron had built there. We had given this huge amount of aid to the Taliban, (was it $40 million?) but then tried to apply the stick, and thats when the Taliban assasinated the one warlord we were working with, and then, like 3 weeks later, 9-11. This Nova thing, it was fine for what it was, but it did nothing to connect the NSA intel with the petro-politics going on in the area at the time, our dealings with the Taliban at the time, the Bush administrations ideological view that only state-supported terrorism is a real threat, and therefore Clinton’s efforts to kill Bin Laden were silly and laughable (sending a $20 million missile up a camel’s butt,” remember when Bush said that, that was a tell, that was a sign of the ideological rejection, by the neocons, of the idea that al queada was a threat).

And what about Saudi Arabia? Its still absolutely verboten to acknowledge that al queada is and always was funded rather openly by Saudi wahhabi clerics, which the Saudi royal family tolerates because they fear revolution in their own country from these nuts. The myth that Bin Laden’s personal fortune funded al queada always was just misinformation to divert from the fact that al queada gets all its funding from Saudi Arabia.

What about Prince Bandar’s wife, at the time he was Saudi Ambassador to the US, what about his wife wiring $1,500 directly to one of the hijackers just 6 months before the attacks? What about the Bush administration hustling the Bin Laden family to safety right after the attacks? What about Cheney’s secret energy policy meetings, and the map that leaked out, divvying up Iraq’s oilfields?

What about the treasonous and longstanding alliance between the Bushes and the Saudi royal family? How did that play? Obviously, its why we still pretend that afghanistan and Iraq attacked us, when it was Saudi Arabia that attacked us.

I am stabby now.

Noone has linked it all together, noone. I will read nothing until someone does.

What about the fact that Bush’s secretary of the Army was in charge of the fake unit at Enron? What about Enron’s manipulation of the California energy crisis, and the Bush admin’s refusal to investigate? What about Colin Powell’s trip to India to lobby the Indian government to float that huge Enron power plant that was behinid schedule, just as Enron was tanking? The fucking blatant, gross fucking stinking corruption of every single act of the Bush administration, in every thing that it did, in domestic and foreign affairs? Who owns the only company in the US that makes anthrax vaccine? Dick Cheney served as VP while still receiving annual cash payments, deferred compensation, from Halliburton, which received how many hundreds of billions in military contracts the last 8 years, and Haliburton’s history of corruption, murder, rape, and other lawlessness?

Aaaarrrggggghhhhhh. We forget most of it, there is just so fucking much.

@blogenfreude: No no no, mass banging, not gang-banging.

Anyone remember that comedian from the early 80s, who did the gangbang jokes? “Knock knock. Who’s there? Gladiator? Gladiator who? Gladiator out before the gang bang.”

@Promnight: Emmanuel Todd? After the Empire? Interesting book, but if he claimed (don’t remember) that 9/11 was a blockback payback that was organized in two weeks, he is crazy. Training and organization went on for years for that project.

Chalmers Johnson does a nice job in a couple of books examining primary minerals development in Central Asia and how it maps to war-fighting plans being organized by the Pentagon’s planning agencies.

@Promnight: Oh, yes, the states has been subject to a bust-out. No argument here. And the guilty are still at large.

@Promnight:

It will never happen. It can’t ever happen. If our nation were somehow forced to acknowledge and take responsibility for the countless (ongoing) horrors of the last eight years, it would cause a national nervous breakdown. That’s why our traditional media is obsessed with the most inane, meaningless and insane trivia, while our politicians usually sound like they’re living on a different planet and pursue policies that are obvious failures. To openly confirm otherwise would be to reveal that American Exceptionalism is a total myth.

news: New Mexico’s proposed domestic partnership bill stalls in committee. Don’t want to be givin them gay people any special rights or anything.

http://www.santafenewmexican.com/Local%20News/Committee-votes-down-domestic-partnership-bill

@Promnight: I was so upset when NOVA changed their theme music, I wrote to PBS to complain. Uh-huh. Yup. I am that nutty.

@JNOV: OMG scrapple. The only thing that could make me get on the next flight.

@FlyingChainSaw: Thanks again for your Cassandra-like rants on BoA. Got myself out and into a respectable CU. My ‘representative’ at BoA called me yesterday to give me the good news that CD rates had climbed to just under 2%. Unfortunately I wasn’t around to answer the phone to tell him what he could do with his rate.

@Benedick: You’re welcome. They’re a fucking crime wave, not a bank. Glad you made your escape.

@RomeGirl: I actually deployed “scrapple” in a comment to subtley advertise that I had moved on from Super Bowl euphoria to mind-numbing worker drone status. But I like my scrapple with syrup, although FCS’ ScrantonSpecial (with Yuengling) sounds delish.

@blogenfreude: They had to be Japanese, or at least Asian: hairless, which is good. Oh, and the dropcloth is a giveaway. I can only imagine the detailed instructions everybody had to read through and the ritual disrobing. Even the onsen are unisex.

Why man always on top?

@nabisco: They’re not hairless, I distinctly see bush, bottom row, second from the left.

@WonkRefugee: Because I have not yet called for the position change. I am more amazed that all the men employ the wide-legged semi-squatting posture.

@Promnight, @FlyingChainSaw: See Crossing the Rubicon by Michael Ruppert. I suspect FCS has an opinion on this, and I wouldn’t call it top-notch journalism, but it was chock full of connect-the-dots.

If I recall, it was a bit hard to slog through at times because the author keeps circling back and repeating himself, and some of the conclusions he jumps to don’t seem directly supported by the evidence he presents, but in the end I thought he made a substantial case for at least a Cheney LIHOP explanation of 9/11, without resorting to any of the truly kooky speculations that have been thrown out there, no doubt by false flag operators making sure anyone who doesn’t buy the official explanation of 9/11 is viewed as a krayzee.

@Prommie: Oh Prommie, of course!
Us lesbians do it completely differently than that fake lesbian porn. Needless to say, someone always ends up falling out of the bed. Can you call for the new position soon? We need something new after 25 years.
Yours, gratefully,
Tongue Wonk.

@WonkRefugee:

Funny story: Mr. OA and I were watching The L Word: Season One a few years ago, and Jenny and some random chick she was dating started engaging in some really fascinating lesbobatics. Mr. OA cocked his head to the side and said “hey, lesbians don’t do it like that,” to which I replied “sugarlips, this show is written by and for lesbians. I think they know what they’re doing.”

@RomeGirl: I’d cook you Scrapple all day, Girl. Loved your “Nobody makes a cake as tasty as a Tastycake” tweet a few days ago.

@nabisco: I only eat Scrapple with syrup. Imagine my joy when I realized the Ralph’s in Palo Alto (!!!) carried Habbersett Scrapple. They were frozen, but it thawed out just fine. They also carried a few varieties of Tastykakes but not butterscotch krimpets, my fave. When I was in boot camp, my dad sent me a care package with enough Tastykakes for my whole company — that’s 80 people! It was AWESOME! (I will ignore your hairless comment while passive-aggressively mentioning it.)