Deranger Rick

“Texas Gov. Rick Perry said on CBS’ ‘The Early Show’ Tuesday that he doesn’t know whether he will participate in the first Republican debate since his entry for the party’s nomination for president as his state continues to battle persistent wildfires. Perry left the campaign trail Monday and returned to Texas for the latest outbreak of blazes, which have destroyed nearly 500 homes and caused the evacuations of many residents.” [CBS]

Our guest interlocutors are Chuck Todd and Rick Perry, conversing in November 2010.

TODD: What is your timeline for making a decision about whether or not to run for President in 2012?

PERRY: I wouldn’t have written that book if I was going to run for the Presidency of the United States. Obviously, you haven’t read it all.

I’m not interested in being the President of the United States. I’ve said that for the last two years, and still I’m consistent, I’m consistent in my position.

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Our guest columnist is the governor of the great state of Texas, writing in 2001. See if you can find all the red flags!

The fruits of NAFTA have just begun to ripen. At the same time, we must not allow the roots of the tree to become poisoned. The NAFTA agreement not only signaled a new era of economic possibility, but a new era of bi-national cooperation. That is why it is wrong, and inherently detrimental to our relationship with Mexico for the U.S. Congress to pursue a protectionist policy that forbids Mexican trucks from U.S. roadways. It is bad public policy, and it violates the terms of the NAFTA agreement we agreed to. Mexican trucks that meet our safety standards should be given the same access to U.S. roads as our Canadian neighbors to the north…

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Everybody’s raving over Rick Perry’s new book!

Bobby Jindal: “My friend Rick Perry knows that it is the American people who make this country great and not Washington. With appropriate respect for both our rich history and the practical needs of today, Rick sees a bright future for America, based on freedom and limited government.”

Rush Limbaugh: “Rick Perry has hit the proverbial nail on the head in FED UP!, making a powerful case for a return to limited government and the restoration of the proper balance of power between Washington and the states. As Governor of Texas, he has seen firsthand the greatness of America and the prosperity we can enjoy when we empower people and get government out of the way. He explains in detail the historical, constitutional, and practical reasons why a government closest to the people protects liberty, and lays out the path to right the ship — citizen involvement and engagement to hold politicians accountable. No citizen should skip this book — your future depends on getting this right.”

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Our guest columnist is Texas Ron Paul supporter Robert Morrow, who placed the above ad in the Austin Chronicle, and whose accusations we can neither verify nor resist.

The same man who used a presidential prayer rally (8/6/11) for his personal ambitions and who often spouts Christian buzzwords and Bible talk to advance his political career is a flagrant adulterer, having sex with women who are the approximate age of his daughter Sydney, age 24.

I know this because I am a patron of Austin strip clubs. My friends and excellent contacts in the Austin strip club community tell me that Rick Perry, a la Bill Clinton, has an enabling entourage who gets him “young hotties” to have sex with — both here in Austin and especially when he is on the road. I learned about this before the 2010 Texas primary. I had an attractive stripper tell me about her direct dealings with Rick Perry. She said that she was attempting a Monica Lewinsky-type act upon Gov. Rick Perry (oral sex) but that in her words Perry was “too coked up” to perform sexually! When it came time for the stripper to leave, Perry gave her an outrageous amount of money, so large in fact that it probably means that Perry is taking cash bribes or illegal gifts to fund his extracurricular activities. Perry is not a rich man and I doubt he is spending that much of his own money on the women. (Actually sweetheart real estate deals have made the man unusual money.)

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“What Perry did was make a thoughtless blunder, an unforced error; we’re now going to spend a couple of days discussing whether he was summoning violence on Ben Bernanke’s head or not, which is of absolutely no use to Perry. He is, or was, moments away from becoming the race’s frontrunner, and what is in his interest is to harness the excitement of his late entry with qualities of leadership and control that will rally the majority of Republicans unhappy with the choices facing them to his side. Rick Perry made that more difficult today; this was a serious rookie mistake on the national stage.” Thank you, John Podhoretz. [Commentary]