We’re This Close to Watching Wheel of Fortune Instead

“Texas Gov. Rick Perry said on CBS’ ‘The Early Show’ Tuesday that he doesn’t know whether he will participate in the first Republican debate since his entry for the party’s nomination for president as his state continues to battle persistent wildfires. Perry left the campaign trail Monday and returned to Texas for the latest outbreak of blazes, which have destroyed nearly 500 homes and caused the evacuations of many residents.” [CBS]


At this rate, every Republican debate this cycle will be some candidate’s first debate.

Why should he go? He’s already been annointed as the front runner and presumed nominee. Why take a chance on fucking it up?

@redmanlaw: He doesn’t bate much. But when he does he’s a master at it.

No worries – Prick Erry’s people will just get the DA to charge everyone in the affected areas with murder. Then Gov. Goodhair won’t care whether they die or not. ;)

Perry’s got a yeller streak a mile wide. He refused to debate his goobernatural rival Bill White citing White’s refusal to release tax returns. How’s he gonna worm out of a Presidential debate ?

I’m sure Gov. Perry rushing back to Texas will be just as much help in putting out the wild fires as Sen. McCain rushing back to Washington was in fixing the financial crisis back in 2008. I’ll never forget the bashing David Letterman gave McCain for skipping his appearance on the Late Show to do an interview. Maybe the RNC could ask Keith Olbermann to sub for the candidate like Dave did.

Speaking of Tejas, one of my FB/IRL friends posted an urgent call for assistance in transporting and sheltering dozens of horses out the the fire path. The original refuges are being overrun tonight.

Ruh-roh – WSJ reporting that los federales are looking into why the U.S. Attorney’s office in Phoenix — the same office that oversaw the operation that let guns to the Mexican drug cartels – released some dude who was a confessed IED maker and who also converted semi-auto rufles (1 shot per trigger pull) to full auto (that’s “assault weapon” or “machine gun” y’all).

All that stuff is behind the WSJ paywall, BTW, my ex-Ranger friend was all bent out of shape the other night about how dudes from the Mexican army that he and others helped train are now working for Los Zatas and all the other bad guys down there.

I got a Rob-o-call today, of all days, from the NRA. Wayne LaPierre asked me if I wanted the UN to come into America and take our guns.

The black helos aren’t far behind?

I’m not surprised the druggies are using soldiers. More disciplined and skilled than the usual gangster.

@texrednface: Not after I spent almost four fucking hours on Sunday cleaning four handguns and three rifles, they’re not.

Fun fact: Larry Craig (R-On His Knees) is still on the NRA Board, as is Ollie North.

@ManchuCandidate: I read that Los Zetas are mostly ex-military who muscled in on the trade when they saw how lucrative it was.

Good job lately over at io9 and gawker, I believe. My stuff never makes it into the comments.

@Dave H: I’m cutting Ricky some slack on this one — it might be a convenient excuse, but that’s what a governor is supposed to do. Imagine the blowback if he attended the debate While Texas Burned.

@nojo: Imagine the blowback if he cut the firefighting budget 75% while Texas burned. Oh, wait

@karen marie has her eyes tight shut: This man is a rank amateur. He needs to get all Crassus on their ass:

One of his most lucrative schemes took advantage of the fact that Rome had no fire department. Crassus filled this void by creating his own brigade—500 men strong—which rushed to burning buildings at the first cry of alarm. Upon arriving at the scene, however, the fire fighters did nothing while their employer bargained over the price of their services with the distressed property owner. If Crassus could not negotiate a satisfactory price, his men simply let the structure burn to the ground, after which he offered to purchase it for a fraction of its value.

-From Wikipedia

This is how the country can pull itself out of the economic crisis in which it finds itself, truly a free-market solution that Ayn Rand and the Jesus of Suburbia could get behind.

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